People Who Always Seem Weirdly Sure Of Themselves Usually Share 6 Habits
Kampus | Pexels To be content and happy with the decisions you make in life, you must first be sure of yourself — and that comes with finding yourself. Finding yourself means becoming aware of those around you, what makes you happy and what does not, and when you feel good about yourself and when you don't.
They don't teach this in school, so how will you know how to do something you have never been taught? Don't be so hard on yourself if you're feeling lost or have no real identity. Look around and inside yourself, and you will begin to become more sure of yourself and the choices you make for your life.
People who always seem weirdly sure of themselves usually share these habits:
1. They know what makes them feel good
The first step in becoming more sure of yourself is noticing what you are doing and who you are with when you feel your best. You may want to be around people who are kind, spiritual, playful, or maybe around individuals who are passionate about a specific topic. Or, perhaps you prefer people who want to continue to grow.
You may feel good when interacting with others who share the same hobbies, hopes, or dreams. Whether that means being around people who make you laugh, are reliable when making plans, or who listen to certain music, all of these things should really touch you and make you feel good.
2. They know what makes them feel bad
Much like being around people who fulfill you can make you feel good, being around people who drain you can easily put you in a bad mood. These outcomes indicate what does not fit your true self.
For example, a consistently late friend can easily cause your mood to fall, especially when you've talked to them many times about being late and that this really bothers you, or having to go somewhere without proper directions may cause you anxiety and create negative feelings about going to a particular event.
Really negative people can also be emotionally draining to be around. Likewise, controlling people can cause you to feel stifled and annoyed that your needs don't seem to matter. The unknown may negatively affect you, and that's perfectly okay. Finding and becoming sure of yourself requires a little introspection to determine what you don't want in your life.
3. Self-assured people have figured out what truly makes them happy
Daiga Ellaby / Unsplash+
Knowing what makes you happy is as important as knowing what doesn't because when you know what brings you true joy and what doesn't, you'll tend to avoid negative experiences while embracing positive ones.
For instance, you may feel joy being at the beach or looking at the Full Moon. Perhaps it's little kids or puppies that bring you joy. Helping people in need may also leave you content, as well as being out in nature or taking up a new hobby. Having this knowledge will make you a more self-assured person.
No matter what it is that makes you happy, make it a point to think intently about it every single day. Ask yourself: How often are you doing things that give you joy? And if it's not often at all, make the change.
4. People like this think about what they admire about themselves
Strengths, talents, and values: do you know what these are for you, and what they mean? Feeling sure about yourself is different than just being happy. It means you recognize something you do well or a quality that makes you feel like a good person. It is a sense of feeling worthy, that you matter and can make a difference in this world.
These are some of the things that shape your true self. Maybe you're honest, a gifted painter, very intelligent, generous, or have other good qualities you admire. Feeling sure about yourself is also about liking who you are, how you treat others, and what you are talented at doing. Think deeply about how you feel towards yourself. Do you like this version of your true and real self?
5. They recognize the signs of other self-assured people
Self-assured people tend to want to be around other self-assured people. People who feel confident in their choices tend to be healthy, and those who seem to truly enjoy their lives likely have found their true selves — and live them unapologetically. When things in their life no longer work for them, they make positive changes.
Setting healthy boundaries with those around you shows respect for yourself. For example, instead of getting annoyed that your friend is consistently late, let them know it bothers you and ask them to make a concerted effort to respect your time. Also, recognize those who make healthy choices about jobs, friendships, and relationships, and try to learn from their choices.
6. People who are sure of themselves remove unhealthy energy from their lives
The last part of becoming sure of yourself is finding the unhealthy people in your life and removing them. People tend to choose friends with about the same degree of emotional health as themselves. So, take a look around you. If your friends do not make healthy choices, do you? Examine this window into your true self by determining if the choices you make really work for you. And, if not, will you make some changes?
People who don't value themselves and aren't sure of themselves tend to make unhealthy decisions. This could be people who complain a lot about others not feeling good about themselves, or people who pressure others to do something; both instances signify that their needs matter more than yours.
When you've finally become sure of yourself, how do you put it all together? Most people often judge themselves harshly, and you are not alone if this describes you. Sometimes, parents inadvertently teach their children not to value themselves. And, likely, the lesson came from each generation before them. This may mean that as a child, you did not receive a true picture of your real worth.
When a parent does not have healthy self-esteem, they tend to treat their children as they were raised, which may likely have been unhealthy. It may not happen on purpose, but it's important to separate a negative childhood upbringing from your true self — or, at least, who you want to become.
If you feel really unsure of yourself, look at the habits above and see what fits you and what doesn't. If you find you still don't know what truly fits you, don't be afraid to seek out a psychotherapist who can support you while they guide you through that process.
Knowing your true self is a journey. You will likely continue to change in the future. Don't be afraid to be who you really are. The right people around you will truly want you to be happy and healthy.
Susan Saint-Welch, LMFT, is a couples and individuals counselor and psychotherapist who works with dating, marriage, and family issues. She's a regular contributor to Life and Relationships 101, helping men and women find lasting love.
