People Who Are Mentally & Energetically Depleted Say 8 Draining Things In Casual Conversation

When someone is completely depleted, emotionally and mentally, getting a little social support can help ease some of that discomfort. Unfortunately, they're often afraid to ask for help.

They don't want to admit something is wrong and sometimes avoid addressing their real feelings because they don't want to be a burden. What they don't realize is that saying things like this can drain all the life out of even the most casual conversations.

Pushing back on these phrases doesn't often spark true honesty and vulnerability, but recognizing them as signs someone needs subtle support without judgment can be productive.

People who are miserable on the inside but act happy on the outside usually say these phrases in casual conversation:

1. 'I'm just a little tired'

man who is miserable on the inside saying i'm just tired Butsaya | Shutterstock

While many people use phrases like "I'm just tired" or "I didn't get enough sleep" as a disguise for their misery or mental health struggles, the truth is that fatigue can be a symptom of experiences like depression. According to a study from Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience, fatigue, from physical energy levels, to emotional exhaustion, and cognitive impairments, are all common in people experiencing depression.

That's why this is one of the phrases people say when they're miserable but don't want to admit it. Sadly, they don't realize that they drain the energy out of conversations when they say it. They may be telling the truth, but it's a partial truth, and brings a negative energy to the situation.

2. 'I'm honestly fine'

woman who is miserable on the inside saying i'm fine fizkes | Shutterstock

When someone says "I'm fine" with a blank or drained expression, they're often using it as a disguise for deeper emotional turmoil. For many people, it's a way to pretend they're fine to help other people feel more comfortable or to avoid feeling like they're burdening people with their internal struggles, no matter how misguided that may be.

So, the next time someone says "I'm fine" when their actions or behaviors tell you otherwise, don't simply sweep it under the rug. Ask thoughtful questions, be there to support them, and make an effort to listen without judgment or unnecessary criticism. Otherwise they'll just drain you.

3. 'I've just been dealing with a lot'

woman who is miserable on the inside saying i've just been dealing with a lot PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock

Many people find it difficult to express themselves or ask for help when they're feeling miserable because they fear being viewed as a burden by their loved ones. However, in the process of trying to protect other people's feelings, using mysterious excuses like this can leave others confused and concerned while isolating the person who is feeling emotionally drained.

Even though addressing and communicating our emotions can feel uncomfortable, the truth is that suppressing them only causes further isolation and grief that sneaks up on you.

4. 'I don't really feel like myself lately'

woman who is miserable on the inside saying i just don't feel like myself BearFotos | Shutterstock

There are mental health issues that result in a sense of depersonalization and disconnection, and that should be taken seriously. But some people feel a loss of identity simply because they're not engaging in hobbies that bring them joy or interacting with people they love enough.

However, this is one of the phrases people say when they're miserable but don't want to admit it. For them, it feels overwhelming to say compared to "I need help" or "I'm really struggling with my mental health."

5. 'Things could be worse'

woman who is miserable on the inside saying things could be worse Chay_Tee | Shutterstock

Yes, it can be healthy and helpful to try to put your problems in perspective. For example: If your roof has a leak. Yeah, that's a bummer, but there are people who are experiencing a hurricane or tornado who've lost everything.

It can be deeply dismissive to say it to someone else, but it's a good exercise for yourself. However, it's important to remember that you need to grieve what you've lost and feel the pain of whatever you're struggling with.

When you say something like this to make other people feel better and push away your feelings, you push away your feelings, too. You prevent the other people from showing you support in an authentic way, and bring down the energy of the conversation.

6. 'It doesn't matter'

man who is miserable on the inside saying it doesn't matter MAYA LAB | Shutterstock

Let's get this clear: How you feel does matter. People do care.

Because they often suppress their emotions and avoid hard conversations rather than lean on vulnerability to seek help, people who are feeling depleted, but won't admit it, drag their negativity into conversations. They drain others around them who wish they could just address the elephant in the room.

According to a study from Issues in Mental Health Nursing, asking for help bonds people in relationships. It gives them the tools and internal foundation to look after themselves better in the future.

7. 'I'm used to it'

man who is miserable on the inside saying i'm used to it pixelheadphoto digitalskillet | Shutterstock

Saying "I'm used to it" seems to someone who is depleted like a kindness to others. But, by saying it this way, they make themselves seem like they're always miserable and unhappy and drain all the fun out of any room.

It's another mode of suppression, as are many of these subtle phrases and behaviors, that builds mistrust, turmoil, and anxiety in people who are already struggling.

8. 'I've been better'

woman who is miserable on the inside saying i've been better Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

Hardly anyone actually responds to the question "How are you?" during small talk honestly when they're having a hard time, so it could be a sign when someone makes an effort to express their bad mood or feelings that they're struggling more than you realize.

Sometimes, it can feel impossible to disguise painful feelings and mental health, so we rely on phrases like "I've been better" or "I think I'm getting sick" to subtly ask for help without admitting that we're really struggling.

Again, they think they're making things easier by not admitting how depleted they are, but it's draining to the people around them to not just talk about the subject at hand.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies.