People With Highly Anxious Minds Usually Do These 10 Things That Baffle Regular People
Tyrell James | Unsplash Living with anxiety is often terribly debilitating and, in most cases, anxiety goes undiagnosed for years until one episode pushes you over the edge, causing you to reach out for answers. For myself, I was finally properly diagnosed in my mid-twenties. It was a tough pill to swallow. Looking back, I realize the warning signs were there all along.
Anxiety isn't just an illness; it's an actual chemical imbalance within the brain that causes its patients to think differently from someone who has normal brain function. Everything feels different, is dissected differently, and the ability to process things rationally takes real effort and convincing within your own mind.
Unfortunately, many children grow up never being diagnosed or treated properly. Research from the University of Oxford has found that "the consequences of anxiety disorders in young people can include mental health issues in adulthood, lower grades at school, and even lower earnings." If you grew up with anxiety, you probably faced these all too real struggles, many of which are probably still relevant today.
People with highly anxious minds usually do these 10 things that baffle regular people:
1. They are sensitive to small criticisms
Whether it was being teased by your peers or handling a hard grade on a test, you took things harder than how you observed most people to handle bad news. It's because, to you, bad news isn't just bad news; it's the end of the world, and the worst emotions have always taken front and center in your mind.
Research spanning over two decades found a strong correlation between high sensitivity and anxiety, with researchers noting that sensitive people are more easily overstimulated and prone to emotional reactivity. The nervous system of people with anxiety is genuinely wired to process emotional information more deeply, which means that criticism, rejection, or disappointment registers with an intensity that others simply don't experience.
2. They think everyone's judging or talking about them
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When you walked by a group of classmates or peers talking or laughing, you automatically assumed it was about you. They don't like you. They hate your outfit. They think you're a loser. Your mind races, and you assume everything is about you because the fear of being an outcast was overwhelming from a young age.
Studies have shown that in situations where people feel socially scrutinized, those with social anxiety experience a heightened spotlight effect and tend to judge their own performance more harshly. This fear of negative evaluation is an adaptive mechanism that evolved to help humans maintain their place within the social group. For our ancestors, being rejected wasn't just emotionally painful; it was genuinely dangerous, so our brains learned to stay hypervigilant.
3. They avoid social interaction at times because it overwhelms them
There have been times when you just couldn't muster up the energy or courage to go out and face social gatherings or large crowds. Social gatherings in high school always gave you high anxiety, and sometimes those same tendencies creep into your adult life.
Sometimes you'll stay cooped up in your bedroom or living room for days because the mere thought of social interaction makes you want to retreat further into your own isolation.
4. They often need more reassurance
When you started having relationships in your life, you needed reassurance a lot about how the other person felt about you. You would find ways to get your partner to show or state affection, and when they wouldn't respond to your liking or took a long time to get in contact with you, it made you freak out with fears that they were going to break up with you.
It proves difficult in your adult dating life as well. Although with time you've learned that your fear of abandonment and rejection is mostly the anxiety talking, you can't help but struggle to feel secure in your love life.
5. They're always prepared for the worst
When you've suffered from anxiety for a long time, you're always prepared for and fear the worst possible outcome. It's always been a struggle for you to rationalize probable reality from the worst-case scenario. You've always assumed the most dramatic conclusions to basically everything in your life.
If you're prone to anxiety, your brain might jump straight to the worst-case scenario before you've even had a chance to think things through. You magnify risks, your mind floods with endless "what ifs," and suddenly a minor situation feels like an impending disaster. Research has found a strong genetic link between anxiety and the tendency to catastrophize, which means your brain may actually be wired to expect the worst.
6. They live in fear of uncontrollable situations
When you had to take a test or get a regular check-up at the doctor's office, you've always had a persistent fear of matters that are out of your control, and it drives your anxiety absolutely wild.
If you've grown up with anxiety, you're definitely no stranger to feeling like you need to control everything, and when you can't, it only aggravates your situation that much more.
7. They tend to overanalyze every situation
Every single thing that happens to you is open to interpretation and gets heavily dissected. When someone tells you they like your hat, you'll question why, assume they were joking, or assume that they had an ulterior motive. You've always had a hard time accepting things at face value.
2005 research found that people with social anxiety tend to assume the worst about neutral interactions. In the study, people watched videos of actors making ambiguous comments about their belongings or actions. While non-anxious people didn't read much into these moments, socially anxious individuals consistently interpreted them negatively. Interestingly, the tendency to assume negative intent was specific to social anxiety, suggesting there's something unique about how anxious minds process social situations.
8. They struggle to feel confident
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Confidence is something you've truly had to work at in your life. You've probably been constantly told to be more confident, but it's hard for you to do so because there's always a lingering fear in your mind that someone is judging you.
Even when you do behave confidently, you silently fear that you're being judged for being too arrogant or that you're coming across as narcissistic. Confidence is a huge struggle for anyone who deals with anxiety. You just can't win no matter what you do.
9. They have a hard time moving past difficult life hurdles
It's always been harder for you to move past significant life hurdles you've faced. It's not that you don't want to move forward; it just takes a bit longer for you because you constantly dwell in regret of the past and fear of the future. You overanalyze yourself and others to the point that it stalls your progress to move forward.
Rumination is that repetitive loop of negative thinking that feels almost impossible to break free from, and it's a big reason why anxious minds have such a hard time moving past life's tougher moments. Research shows that when you're stuck in this pattern, you're more likely to recall negative memories from your past and view the present through that same pessimistic lens. All that mental energy spent dwelling on problems leaves little room for actually solving them.
10. They have separation issues
By the age of two, most children typically outgrow separation anxiety. Children with anxiety may experience excessive worry and fear when separated from their primary caregivers or familiar environments. This anxiety often stems from a lack of perceived safety and security.
If these separation issues persist into adolescence and adulthood, it may suggest an ongoing struggle with anxiety and difficulty coping with separation.
If you've grown up with anxiety, it's been a tough battle, but as you get older, you have started to feel more control over your illness. You might not ever be fully out of the darkness, but you've grown since your upbringing and will continue to do so. Hang in there.
Andrea Wesley is a freelance writer and poet living in Vancouver, Canada. She is a former contributor to The Bolde and Elite Daily.
