People Who Are Genuinely Happier In Life Usually Accept These 10 Uncomfortable Truths
insta_photos | Shutterstock Most people don't realize why they're so tired, unfulfilled and uninspired. After all, they work hard, dedicate themselves to their goals, and still they struggle. They often look at people who are genuinely happier in life and wonder what it is they're doing differently that makes them both successful and happy, a combination that sometimes feels impossible, and worry they may never reach this level of happiness.
This line of thinking can become a trap. When you look at the people around you, it probably seems like everyone else is so productive, running from meeting to meeting and firing off emails. But how many of them are actually succeeding at a high level while still being happy? We can never know. That's why the advice I'm about to share is so critical, despite being so simple. Some of life's most essential truths need repeating, so keep this list handy whenever you feel stuck or need a boost.
People who are genuinely happier in life usually accept these 10 uncomfortable truths
1. Being busy does not equal being productive
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Success doesn't come from movement and activity alone; rather, it comes from focus, from ensuring that your time is used efficiently and productively. According to Northwestern University professor of management Adam Waytz, managers who want their employees to be optimally productive make sure their teams take vacations, do regular activity audits and model balanced, productive behavior.
If that's what a top expert in productivity suggests for managers, isn't it something you should take to heart, too?
You have the same number of hours in the day as everyone else, so it's best to use yours wisely. Remember that productivity doesn't come from being busy all the time; it comes from dedicating effort to tasks that actually get results.
2. Great success is often follows major failure
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It can be incredibly hard to find true success until you learn to embrace failure. Though failure may seem like the end of it all, your mistakes actually pave the way for you to succeed by revealing when you're on the wrong path.
The biggest breakthroughs typically come when you're feeling the most frustrated and stuck. It's this frustration that forces you to think differently, to look outside the box, and to see the solution that you've been missing.
Success takes patience and the ability to maintain a good attitude, even while suffering for what you believe in. There's a reason the old adage that says, "necessity is the mother of invention" has appeared in many forms across cultures for as long as written stories have been shared: those failures can push us to our most creative selves, as long as we embrace them as such.
3. Fear is a major source of regret
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When all is said and done, you will lament the chances you didn't take far more than you will your failures. According to research done by Daniel Pink, author of the book The Power of Regret, some of the most significant regrets people had were about things they didn't do because of their fear.
"When people are young," Pink told the non-profit Behavioral Scientist magazine, "they have roughly equal numbers of regrets of action (what they did) and regrets of inaction (what they didn’t do). But as we age, the inaction regrets take over."
So don't be afraid to take risks! Because fear is, unfortunately, the one thing that holds you back from reaching for greatness.
In order to have a happier life, you need to stop fearing what may happen and embrace the unknown, realizing that it's in your best interest to at least try and fail, rather than never trying at all.
4. Self-worth is an inside job
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When someone's self-worth is based on comparison with others, they're no longer in control of their own destiny. After all, if your success exists only in comparison with others, any big accomplishment can be dulled when someone judges it or even when there is doing better.
In contrast, when your success is measured from within, you can feel good about something you've done without worrying what others think. People who are genuinely happier simply won't allow anyone's opinions or accomplishments to take that away.
While it's impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you (nor should you), you don't have to allow comparisons to others to take over. While it takes practice, people who practice self-acceptance do their best to take people's opinions with a grain of salt.
Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain — you're never as good or bad as they say you are.
5. The people you associate with help determine your future
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People who are genuinely happier in life tend to surround themselves with people who inspire them, people who make them want to be better. It makes sense when you think about it. After all, even in the digital age, humans are still wired to be social animals and influenced by the people we're connected with.
To have a happier life, you need to realize that anyone who makes you feel worthless, anxious, or uninspired is wasting your time. If this is someone you are close with in life, they could quite possibly be making you more like them.
Life is too short to associate with people who don't want the best for you, whether they know it or not, so cut them loose and don't feel bad about it.
6. Life is short
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None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, a fact that nearly all of us know to be true. Yet, when someone passes away unexpectedly, it causes us to take stock of our own lives: what's really important, how we spend our time, and how we treat other people.
Loss is a raw, visceral reminder of the frailty of life, but it doesn't need to be a shock or surprise. People who are genuinely happier in life work hard to cultivate an appreciation for how short life truly can be.
To replicate this, remind yourself every morning when you wake up that each day is a gift. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing is the moment it will start becoming one. After all, a great day begins with a great mindset, and mindset is something experts believe we have some control over.
7. You don't have to wait for an apology to forgive
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Life is often happier once you let go of grudges and forgive even those who never said they were sorry. After all, grudges let negative events from your past ruin today's happiness. Hate and anger are emotional parasites that can even destroy your joy in life.
The negative emotions that come with holding on to a grudge can affect your mental health, increasing anxiety and creating a stress response in your body. According to researchers at Emory University, holding on to stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease.
When you forgive someone, it doesn't condone their actions; it simply frees you from being their eternal victim and that is one powerful way to create a genuinely happier life.
8. You can live a life of your own creation
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In most cases, we are not victims of circumstance; rather, we are in control of our own lives and choices in ways many cannot imagine. Of course, bad things happen that are out of our own control, but no one can force you to make decisions and take actions that run contrary to your values and aspirations.
People who are genuinely happier in life accept that the choices you make today are your own — you created them. Likewise, your future is entirely up to you. If you're feeling stuck, it's probably because you're afraid to take the risks necessary to achieve your goals and live your dreams.
When it's time to take action, remember what Marianne Williamson says, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." Now is the time to stop being afraid of the life you could create.
9. Live in the moment
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You can't reach your full potential until you learn to live your life in the present. While it's easier said than done, we have a better chance of being happier in life by recognizing that no amount of guilt can change the past.
In addition, no amount of anxiety about what might happen can change the future, it just keeps us stuck. If you're constantly somewhere else, you may find it challenging to fully embrace the what's happening in this very moment, including what is very good.
To help yourself live in the moment, you must do two things:
First, you must accept your past. If you don't make peace with your past, it will never leave you and, in doing so, it will create your future. Second, you need to accept the uncertainty of the future. Worry has no place in the here and now.
10. Change is inevitable, so embrace it
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Only when you embrace change can you find the good in it. Having an open mind and open arms can help you recognize and capitalize on the opportunities that change creates.
You're bound to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away. The truth is, things rarely change until we change how we handle them.
This is true when things are going well, too. Make an effort to appreciate them and enjoy them, as they are bound to change. After all, if you're always searching for something more, something better, you'll likely struggle to be present enough to enjoy the great moments before they're gone.
Dr. Travis Bradberry is an award-winning author and expert in emotional intelligence. He has been featured in Newsweek, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, and The Washington Post and more.
