People Who Secretly Regret Big Life Choices Often Drop These 11 Hints
It can be tough to admit it when we regret something major, but our subconscious often tells on us.
NoemiEscribano / Shutterstock In Hollywood, one of the most common tropes in dramas is the person who deeply regrets a major life decision—often marriage or a career. This trope is popular because it’s a real-life thing that happens more often than we may want to admit.
We all have regrets. Those of us who regret bigger things will often show it in one way or another. The bigger the regret, the more likely it is that they will find a way to let it be known in one way or another. These hints are the biggest giveaways.
People who secretly regret big life choices often drop these 11 hints
1. Pushing choices onto others
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We all have heard about the trope of the “dance mom” or “beauty queen mom” who insists on having her daughter go to all the auditions, spend thousands on beauty treatments, and more. This happens when people want to live their dreams vicariously through others.
If your parents keep pushing for college when they never attended, it’s likely because they regret not going.
2. Dissuading others from choosing a different path
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While many regretters tend to try to get people to live the life they wish they had, others tend to be in the “misery loves company” camp. They will often sabotage others who are trying the path less traveled.
So, if they deeply regret having kids, they often will try to sell others who are on the fence to have kids, often to an alarming point. Or worse, they may treat a person choosing the path they didn’t take as a personal affront.
Make no mistake about it. This is a sign of a deeply unhappy person.
3. Making snippy comments about successful people
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For some folks, the regrets that come with a bad choice in love or business leave a certain level of bitterness. This can lead people to become overly petty, often to the point of leaving hurtful comments about a person.
It’s one of the reasons why bullying happens. People want to take those who did the smart thing “down a notch,” because that’s all they can do to save face.
4. The look
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You know that look, right? The one look that always ends up in movies? That wistful look that a person gets when they see someone else get what they wish they had?
Yep. It’s a sign of both regret for not doing enough to achieve it and a sign of just hurting for whatever it may be.
5. Showing disdain for their partner
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This is a bit more specific to relationships, but let’s be honest. Marriage is a massively important decision in life. If you regret marrying your partner, it often shows in how you treat them.
Regretful spouses often treat their partner with disdain, contempt, or even disgust, no matter what the partner tries to do. Whether this is because of something the spouse did to make them regret marrying them doesn’t matter. The outcome is the same.
6. Mentioning a particular moment repeatedly
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As weird as it sounds, there are so many moments where a pivotal moment changes the course of one’s life. If that moment is bad, it’s possible that they keep looking back at that one day, wondering what could have been if they had just chosen differently.
Most people might just take that as them being dramatic, but it’s often a legit sign of something they deeply regret. It’s their "dethroning moment."
7. Trying to undo that decision
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Let’s say that you see someone who always regretted not going to college or marrying the wrong person. More often than not, that regret will bubble up until they decide to act on their regrets.
In other words, they typically will try to do whatever they can to correct the mistake. For example, a man who regrets not marrying a woman who breaks up with him as a result of his not proposing might do everything he can to find someone to marry soon after. Or he might try to reach out to the woman he lost, saying he's sorry that he didn’t treat her well.
8. Overadvertising their joy
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We all know that social media is a collection of the prime cuts of one’s life, but a person who regrets major life choices often kicks it up a notch. They need you to know that they are SO HAPPY and totally not regretful. SO, SO, SO HAPPY!
This is a case of overcompensation. They’re not happy, but they need to preserve their image of success. So, they overcompensate.
9. Refusing to try new things
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So, here’s something interesting: a person who has a deep regret about a life decision often ends up talking themselves into corners. They often end up with a fixed mindset, where they worry about trying anything new out of fear of adding another regret to their list.
If a person seems unusually unwilling to make a change, it could be a sign of a bigger regret.
10. An overwhelming sense of sadness
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A person who deeply regrets their life decisions is generally not a happy person, especially if it was something very major. Sometimes, it’s their body language. Other times, it’s just the vibe they seem to ooze out.
People who have heartfelt, deep regrets often find that regret seeps into much of their lives.
11. Talking about it
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Believe it or not, many people will be open about not being happy with their life choices.
It’s something they won’t admit to everyone, but if you’re close to them, they will eventually say something about it, even if they were hoping to keep their regret a secret.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
