Narcissists Almost Always Hate People With These 9 Distinct Personality Traits
microcosmos | Shutterstock People with narcissistic tendencies tend to enjoy being around others who not only feed into their delusions, but are easily manipulated and controlled.
Narcissists thrive on having the power of making someone constantly question themselves, so much so that they will find the most power with people who lack the self-confidence and self-worth to actually walk away from them. But when a narcissist meets someone who won't allow them to do any of those things, they quickly start to dislike them. In fact, narcissists almost always hate people with distinct personality traits that make them almost impossible to manipulate.
Confident, self-aware people are their weakness, mostly because they're able to challenge a narcissist's way of thinking and doing. Because of that, they can see right through a narcissistic person, and that's something they won't allow. They prefer to exist behind a mask, and the second someone starts to pull it away from their face, they retreat and feel threatened.
Narcissists almost always hate people with these 9 distinct personality traits
1. Calmly enforcing personal boundaries
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These are the individuals that don't ever need to over-explain themselves or go back on their own non-negotiables for anyone. It doesn't matter how often someone attempts to guilt-trip or pressure them to change their mind, they're staying firm in the boundaries they've drawn.
For the most part, their boundaries consist of simply walking away. But for a narcissist, they can't actually exert any power over someone who has these strong boundaries. Instead, narcissists tend to gravitate toward people who can't seem to stay strong with their limits.
2. Being emotionally intelligent and observant
While narcissists tend to report high emotional intelligence, they actually lack a lot of the traits of emotional intelligence that are required to have healthy and strong relationships. So, when they encounter actual emotionally intelligent and observant people, it can throw them off.
It's because these people tend to pay attention to a person's behavior rather than only listening to the words they're saying. They can quickly pick up on the fact that a narcissist isn't really ever doing what they say and meaning it.
3. Valuing honesty over appearance
Narcissists tend to rely heavily on how things look to others. They care deeply about their own appearance and, because of that, it also trickles over to the people around them. They're deeply invested in how others are perceiving them.
But people who tend to be brutally honest and value telling the truth over keeping up appearances make them frustrated and annoyed. It's these types of people who are never impressed by the material things others possess, and won't let that dictate how and when they choose to speak their mind.
4. Not chasing people who pull away
To maintain the control they like to have over others, narcissists will play this game where they suddenly pull away, hoping that they'll be chased after. Weak-minded and deeply insecure people will quickly run after a narcissist because they rely on their validation and attention, which is something narcissistic people truly enjoy.
But when they encounter people who don't chase after them, it makes them feel some sort of way. These individuals are not wasting their energy running after someone, like a parent does for a child. In their mind, conflict should be resolved by actual conversation, and if that's not happening then they aren't batting an eye.
5. Not idolizing anyone
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Narcissists enjoy being put on a pedestal by the people in their lives. That admiration tends to give them the power they deeply enjoy, and also makes it easy for them to avoid accountability when they do something questionable. That's why they're people with the distinct ability to appreciate others, without putting them any higher than they deserve to be.
It means they're less likely to just ignore toxic behaviors and patterns. In fact, they have no issue calling it out and holding someone, more particularly a narcissist, accountable when that needs to happen.
6. Refusing to seek approval from others
Narcissists thrive on having people around them who always seem to need their approval. They like to be around others that can easily be manipulated with things like praise or even guilt. This is why people who are a bit more self-assured with themselves can make narcissists feel deeply uncomfortable.
A person who is perfectly content with trusting themselves and their own decisions means they're a lot harder to actually control. They may go to others for validation, but deep down, it doesn't affect their self-esteem because of how secure they are.
7. Keeping their standards high even when they're lonely
Loneliness has a way of making people interact with others that they normally wouldn't put up with. Because they're craving company and social interaction, they'll allow themselves to fall prey to a narcissist and all of their toxic habits.
To them, that's way better than being lonely. For people who, even in the face of loneliness, still keep their standards in tact, they're a danger to a narcissist's agenda. They don't allow loneliness to force them into situations they know aren't good for them.
8. Being naturally empathetic but not naïve
Compassionate people who also have the discernment of not giving out their compassion to people that don't deserve it tend to rub a narcissist the wrong way. It's because their kindness isn't just easy to access and they will quickly pull it away the second they sense someone attempting to manipulate them with it.
They may care deeply about people, but they're also aware that being too kind for their own sake can put them in situations where they end up being walked all over.
9. Having a strong sense of identity
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Individuals who know exactly who they are, to the point where they'll never sacrifice that to be in a toxic relationship, are people that narcissists instantly hate. They aren't going to tolerate hearing constant criticism about who they are just so someone else can exert control over them.
If that happens, they'll simply walk away because they have such strong boundaries and high standards. Being able to have a firm sense of identity doesn't only mean that you're avoiding relationship issues, but that you have a stronger sense of mental health, which aids in saving who you choose to give your energy to.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
