In A Messy World, Some People Are Still Okay. Here’s 3 Things They Do Differently.
Yuliya Shabliy | Pexels You're tired, stressed, and overwhelmed — who isn't? The world is a mess: Changing finances makes it hard to pay your bills every month. You wonder how the conflict in the world will affect the bigger picture. You feel the growing divisions in your country, and it can feel hard to find the good.
But there's good news: Research on the lived experience of feeling overwhelmed showed you're not alone. You don't have to stay stuck in hopelessness and despair, but you also don't have to pretend everything is good in the world. In a messy world, you can still be okay
In a messy world, some people are still okay, and here are three things they do differently:
1. They know what they need to thrive
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The first and oldest instinct is self-preservation, the human need to survive. Your body will reveal to you what you need to live well.
Notice how well you are doing in each of these three zones:
Zone One: Health and well-being
Do you eat well, get enough exercise, and have enough sleep? Do you pay attention to your body so you know when your body is hungry, tired, or weak? How does your body let you know what it needs? Research has emphasized the interrelationship of diet, exercise, and sleep for better mental health.
Zone Two: Maintenance and resources
Are you working at your best, running your business efficiently, and having adequate resources to pay your bills? Do you keep your house and car in good shape?
Zone Three: Domesticity
Think of your home as your shelter, a place for the operation of the intimate and social. It is about creating a home where you can be yourself and provide for your family. Is your house or apartment your sanctuary? Self-preservation is about discovering the things we need to grow in a messy world.
2. They know who brings out the best in them
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Humans have found that we can do much more when working with others. Your intuition will reveal to you whom you can work with and enable you to read the energy of a group to make the best use of the group's talents.
Notice how well you are doing in each of these three zones:
Zone One: Reading people and situations
You can read people's body language and pay attention to the tone of voice of each person. You can read between the lines of a person talking with you. You can pick up the atmosphere of a group of people in the room.
Researcher and professor Roland Riggio, Ph.D., cautioned people to be wise about their interpretation of body language: "One wise strategy is not to rely on 'common sense' and simply make assumptions about what a particular nonverbal cue means. There is no dictionary of nonverbal communication. However, knowing these cues can help you better understand someone's intentions."
Zone Two: Bonding, affiliating, and connecting
If you are strong in this zone, you will likely be in a pair bond. You recognize that humans cannot survive alone.
Zone Three: Contribution and participation
You have a hunger to contribute to the world. You value intelligence and see the value of working together. Your social instinct reveals to you if a community or organization is not healthy, and you have the inner knowing that we all need friends. Social instinct is all about the power of working with others to recognize the organizations and groups that will enhance your work and goals.
3. They know which passions energize them
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The intimate instinct is the energy within you to charge your batteries. The recognition of the life force wants to be free and help you be creative. Intimate energy allows you to regulate your energy. It draws you to people with the same power, a force that can change the world. Intimate types are like spark plugs bringing energy to your situation, and they aren't just about romantic or physicality.
Notice how well you are doing in each of these three zones:
Zone One: Attracting and being attracted
Intimate types attract and repel people depending on how well their energies cooperate with each other. They look for hot spots in any group and need stimulating places. You strongly desire to broadcast your energy and display yourself like a peacock. How do you like others to see you?
Zone Two: Edge and evolution
Intimate types love taking risks and walking on the wild side. They are always looking for adventure. How adventurous are you?
Zone Three: Fusion and merging
Enjoy losing yourself amid the object of your attention, the experience of being activated energetically. Have the ability to lose themselves in another and also in something creative. What do you enjoy doing that you can spend hours doing and wonder where the time went?
You have one instinct you overdo and one instinct you ignore. The instinct in the middle is usually your strongest. You will make the most significant difference in your life when you work on the instinct you forget to show you where you need to focus.
When you are at your best, you will be able to take the ups and downs of life. It doesn't mean life will be easy, but you will find inner peace to help you navigate life's ups and downs. You will cultivate the gift of presence to enable you to access the wisdom of your three instincts and your three centers of intelligence.
Roland Legge is an author, certified spiritual life coach, and teacher of the Enneagram. He helps people connect to their inner selves and find alignment with their highest purpose and values.
