If Two People Truly Love Each Other From The Depths Of Their Soul, They'll Naturally Communicate In These 3 Ways
Soul-deep love has its own language.
Yuliia Martynovych | Unsplash Communication is the real, honest-to-goodness relating that leads to genuine intimacy and a healthy bond between two people. And good communication leads to good intimacy that will only get better as a couple gets to know each other more deeply.
Communication is probably the most important aspect of any relationship, mainly because we are forever learning new things about it and new ways to do it. Thus, communication is an ongoing creative process that deserves our rapt attention.
If two people truly love each other from the depths of their souls, they'll naturally communicate in these 3 ways:
1. Positively
This "dating game" stage of a relationship, the first few months, should keep its focus on positive communication. Find out about each other. Use compliments to draw each other out. Focus on your commonalities and how they can enhance your relationship.
Talking is very important during this stage, but listening is just as vital. Rewarding each other with positive feedback, compliments, and reassurances can set the stage for closer contact. Get to know what the other likes first and savor the verbal flirtation.
2. Intimately
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It can be difficult to talk about physical intimacy because we aren't given courses in school on how to do it. And most likely, our parents didn't give us much help in this area either.
We go into relationships expecting our partners to know our needs by osmosis, and that's rather presumptuous, isn't it? How can we dare expect someone else to know where to touch us if we don't find a positive way to tell them?
In intimacy, we are totally on our own. Maybe that's why it can feel so difficult to express what you want and find out your partner's needs. But we may fear rejection or be afraid we can't measure up. No ironclad rules exist to fall back upon. We just have to "wing it."
And maybe that's a good thing if it opens us up to talk more freely. If you were lost in a foreign city, you would certainly seek out someone you could talk to and ask for directions. You would be just as vulnerable in that situation, too.
Asking for directions in intimacy is just part of getting where you want to go. We aren't just dealing with intimate needs at this level, but intimate nurturing needs. If it feels scary to ask for nurturing, first tell each other how much you respect each other and want to please each other.
Ask what the other likes in the way of intimacy. Go slowly; the more time you take, the more excitement you build up and the more barriers you break down.
Give each other positive feedback during and after intimacy. Feel free to ask that your needs be met; express what you need by saying things like, "I need to be held close after making love," or "I need you to stay overnight." And if your partner is reluctant to open up, ask, ask, ask gently and lovingly.
Once two people have connected intimately, the relationship changes course. We all feel more vulnerable after intimacy has entered the picture. The union either grows stronger at this point or interest in each other wanes.
If you can talk and be more open with each other, physical intimacy goes to a deeper level and gets better and better. But if you emotionally distance each other, the relationship can end. For instance, if a man ceases to call a woman after they have been intimate, she may feel used and abused.
It's better to tell her up front how you feel rather than leaving her thinking the worst of you. Maybe the emotional intimacy is very strong, and she may need reassurance. The point is, you can bring each other closer together with intimate language.
3. Physically, mentally, and spiritually
This is the deepest form of communication. At this level of your relationship, you are becoming attuned to each other's physical needs; you have that blissful mind-to-mind connection, and you feel that soul-mate resonance.
But couples often revert to Level One at this point, because they've made the conquest or they're married by this point and don't feel a need to keep trying. It is of extreme value at this level to keep investing in the relationship, however.
It is imperative to set aside one hour of communication time each day, to keep current on each other's needs and to know each other more deeply. Don't take the relationship for granted just because you have secured each other.
Continue to do spontaneous little things for the one you love, and find out if he or she likes new adventures or new interests. One couple I know was together for five years before they discovered they both liked roller skating.
This added a new zest to their relationship, even to the point of making love in a motel near the roller rink and pretending they were teenagers being "naughty." You never know what surprises that one hour per day can bring you.
And it can really secure your everlasting love for you, more so than presuming everything is okay. Your connection with each other will keep growing on all levels.
The way to move beyond communication is through more communication. Then we no longer fear talking to each other. It becomes as natural as breathing.
If we have feared rejection, intimacy, and inadequacy, and been able to talk about these very common problems and deal with them, then more and better communication can't hurt. It can only improve any situation.
Even if your partner tells you a little more than you wanted to know, that provides you with yet another topic for discussion. Then you can clear the air and move on. To move beyond communication is to have mastered the nuances, at least to a point.
You know what basic facial expressions and body language mean, you acknowledge them, and above all, you can talk about them. Don't always try to second-guess each other's body language cues. Ask your partner if his or her nod means yes or no.
And if you or your partner "clams up," you may learn to give each other a wide berth until the time is right to talk. And if one of you needs to talk, one of you may need to listen. Communication is ongoing foreplay that keeps you in everlasting love.
Dr. Ava Cadell is an author, counselor, and founder of Loveology University. Her mission is to empower people to overcome intimate guilt and shame so they can enjoy the benefits of healthy relationships.
