How To Stop Comparing Your Life To Everyone Else's

Break up with your toxic behaviors and negative thoughts.

How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others & Change Your Negative Thoughts Into Positive Ones Jed Villejo on Unsplash

There are certain behaviors, like jealousy, that serve no valuable purpose in our lives and sometimes we engage with them too often. Not only do these negative behaviors and patterns alter your thoughts, but jealousy and constantly comparing yourself to others can drag you down and hold you back from being your authentic self.

Maybe you weren’t always like this; you may have stood around a certain crowd for too long, or maybe you've just been browsing social media for far too long and in the overwhelming veil of comparison culture find yourself wishing your life was more like your Facebook friends' news feed. Whatever the case may be, holding onto toxic behaviors and negative thoughts about yourself can not only damage your perception of reality but your overall mental health.


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Sometimes we are easily susceptible to the thoughts and feelings we have grown accustomed to, but there is no need to see yourself as the bad guy.

You are the one in control of how you feel, how you react and how you begin to change your life. Changing the way you think won't be an overnight success, but the journey and reward, in the end, will be worth the trial.

Any time you allow yourself to slip into your thoughts and talk yourself into a negative state of mind, you are inviting overwhelming emotions that do not need residence. The joy you feel can be sucked out in an instant and be replaced by anger, sadness, and stress. Once you feel enough is enough, the road to recovery is right outside your doorstep.


The first step is to identify which toxic behaviors are present in your life. Once you free yourself from these, you will experience an amazing shift in the way you view and experience the world around you.

You may catch yourself staring way too hard at a family who seems to have their life put together well. You start to compare your family to them and think their lives are much better than yours because of how they seem from the outside looking in.

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Often, we compare ourselves and the things we own to others when we aren't feeling content with what we have and who we are.

The truth is, none of the material things or physical traits of someone can define who they are or how they are feeling. You will know when you’ve let go of this toxic behavior when you truly feel at peace with all that you have been blessed with.


Have you ever caught yourself at an event and instead of enjoying your time, you were caught up in the drama of the party? This is a behavior most of us engage in without realizing it.

Remember, the drama is alive and thriving when people are willing to feed into it. When you do not add fuel to the fire and react calm and collective to the given situation, the drama will cease to exist in your world.

Your reaction to these scenarios serves huge importance to your growth. Any time you allow yourself to water these dead plants, you will stunt your growth and remain unhappy and bitter with everyone around you.

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One of the most relatable toxic behaviors we have all dealt with is talking negatively to ourselves.

The way you speak about yourself has a major influence on how you feel on a day to day basis.

If you constantly use self-deprecating language and feel like nothing good will ever happen, you will never realize how beautiful you are and how many opportunities there are waiting for your discovery.

Stop for a moment and say a couple of things that you love about yourself. Keep doing this until you start to believe it’s true!

If you find yourself constantly re-living the past and beating yourself up over it, it’s time to let that hurt go. Remember that no matter how bad things might have been, you can’t change what happened. When we dwell on the past, any negative emotions we felt during this time can latch itself onto us. The only way to let go of this behavior is to keep in mind that the past will always be left in the past. Your future self is waiting for you to drop the past and push forward!


These toxic behaviors and negative thoughts may not be easy to let go of, and it won’t be a one-day solution. As a matter of fact, it will take a while to realize your value if you’ve accustomed yourself to think you are not worth the better things in life.

You should be your number one supporter, because at the end of the day, the only person in your life who can heal yourself, is you. With the help of your family and friends, you’ll get the extra push you’re looking for!

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Destiny Duprey is a writer who covers music, self-care, and religion.