Photo: Christian Ferrer via Unsplash
We've all felt lost at some point in our lives.
By The Mind's Journal — Written on Mar 03, 2020
By Sayani Deb
At times, life can make you feel defeated and lost, and that is something that every person experiences at some point in their lives. But it is incredibly important that you learn to love yourself when you are feeling lost or, otherwise, the going will only get tougher.
Often, we find ourselves to be lost, amidst numerous directions. We tend to become directionless, not knowing where to go, what to do in different aspects of life and that’s when we are lost — nowhere, but somewhere amidst something.
It is in this very phase of life (it can happen more than once!) that we are unable to make decisions regarding anything, whether it’s making a move from your current workplace or your relationships. Life seems to be going haywire and you seem to be going insane.
That’s what happens and each and every one of us begins questioning our planning capabilities. We tend to focus on how organized and planned other people’s lives are and what a mess we have made out of our own lives.
Here, social media has an important role to play. It actually pokes us to think and think and think further, to finally get lost into an abyss of useless and unproductive thoughts.
How about Facebook? Isn’t it an absolutely wonderful place to get lost... in other’s lives? To look at how successful people are or how they are enjoying their foreign trips?
In these phases of being directionless, we actually tend to attract more of the posts that make us re-evaluate our self-worth and, again, those useless thoughts trigger us into an over-thinking zombie.
How do we stop this? Or, at least reduce these questions on self-worth? Is it really necessary to do it? Or we can just doom ourselves by over-thinking?
Firstly, yes. It is really necessary. Regardless of who you are and what you do, it is absolutely necessary to stop questioning your worth. So, never, ever question your capabilities.
Secondly, you are not alone. It’s okay to feel lost at times. All of us go through these phases and no one’s life is absolutely sorted. No one has ever been so planned and organized that they can organize their whole lives.
The very nature of life is unknown and unpredictable. You never know when and what unfolds, so how can you simply plan life and have it all sorted?
"Let life be planned and organized like an Oscar event where everything goes as per the plan." This is the weirdest thing we can ever ask for. It’s like expecting a foodie to fast or an employee to like the boss (there are exceptions!).
So, just stop making this comparison between where you are in life and where others are. Everyone is proceeding in their own timelines, at their own pace towards the unknown. You may have faith in achieving your dreams, you may know the end result, but you will never know how it unfolds, how you reach there, and where you want to be.
Have faith that you will reach your destination and fulfill your goals, but at a divine time and through a plan that you have not yet fathomed. The main thing is to keep going. You will be lost, but you will be on your track again.
Getting lost gives you the opportunity to explore, to introspect on what you want from life. Just ask life to give you that and leave it. You need not create a plan and teach life how to give it to you; it will come to you at its own appointed time.
Untill then, keep moving forward and when you feel directionless, halt for a moment. Work towards reducing this habit of over-thinking and questioning your self-worth.
All you have to do is:
1. Talk to yourself, the way you talk to your crush.
Yes. Reinforce that you are deserving and you are going to get there eventually.
2. Don't push yourself too hard.
Stop your frequent visits to social media platforms and listen to what your solitude has to say.
3. Take your own sweet time.
You may take a few days or a week or even months to enjoy being lost and to stop all the devilish thoughts in your talkative mind. Take that time. There’s nothing wrong to take time and heal yourself.
4. Be present and do your best wherever you are, and let life lead you.
You may not be doing the work you want to right now. Maybe your dreams are absolutely different. But respect the work you are currently doing. It is the source of paying your bills.
5. Dream big.
Think of where you want to be. Imagine the time when you will have it all. Think of those happy endings and ecstatic moments as you see yourself living the life of your dreams.
As Atticus had rightly said, "We will be lost and found a thousand times along this cobbled road of us." So, let life lead. Flow with the rhythm of life and keep your dreams alive.
Loving yourself when you are feeling lost can be a hard thing to do sometimes, but it is the best thing you can do for a bright future and happy soul.
More for You:
Sayani Deb is a writer who focuses on self-love, self-care, and health and wellness. For more of her self-love content, visit her author profile on The Mind's Journal.
This article was originally published at The Mind's Journal. Reprinted with permission from the author.