If A Woman Uses These 11 Phrases, She's Probably A Nightmare To Be Friends With
What a woman says may reveal more about the kind of friend she is than you think.
Andrii Iemelianenko / Shutterstock Some people are easy to be friends with, as they are warm, kind, and emotionally generous. Others, however, have a knack for turning even simple friendships into complicated power struggles. They might not mean to, but their words reveal more about their mindset than they realize. If a woman uses certain phrases, she is probably a nightmare to be friends with, as these statements are small red flags that someone values control, drama, or validation more than genuine connection.
When you hear them often enough, it’s a sign the friendship may never truly feel balanced or safe. These phrases tend to sound polite or even caring on the surface, but they usually carry a sharp edge underneath. They can guilt you, manipulate your emotions, or make you question your own reality, all while allowing the speaker to look innocent. Over time, those patterns turn friendships into emotional chores instead of sources of comfort. Paying attention to what people say and how often they say it is one of the quickest ways to spot when someone’s not the kind of friend you can count on.
If a woman uses these 11 phrases, she's probably a nightmare to be friends with
1. 'You're too sensitive'
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
When a woman tells her friends that they are too sensitive, she may be a nightmare to be friends with, depending on the situation. Saying that her friends are too sensitive could be her way of trying to avoid taking accountability for her actions that have caused her to hurt her friend.
By dismissing her friend's feelings, however, she will make it seem like what she has done is not that bad, and the only reason her friend is reacting as she is is because she's just too sensitive. By turning the focus over to their friend instead of themselves, they get to overlook the pain they may have caused.
2. 'That's so great for you, I could never do that'
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock
While a woman telling her friends that something is great for her, but she could never do it, might not necessarily sound like she is not being a good friend, when it is said in a certain tone, it can signal that she would be a nightmare to be friends with. If this statement is made in an unsupportive and condescending manner, it shows that she is not actually happy for her friend.
A woman who is a true friend will uplift her friends and not want them to feel discouraged. If she is not a good friend, she will be more concerned with competing with her friends and bringing them down so that she can make herself feel better.
3. 'I'm sorry you feel that way'
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock
If a woman only ever tells her friends that she is sorry they feel a certain way instead of apologizing for her actions, she is likely a nightmare to be friends with. This statement not only keeps her from apologizing, but it also invalidates her friend's feelings.
“When someone says, "I'm sorry you feel that way," it can come off as an apology. However, this phrase puts the onus of the feelings onto the recipient, suggesting that their reactions, rather than the perpetrator's actions, are the problem,” explains Grouport Therapy, a team of licensed therapists who provide treatment and support for individuals, couples, families, and groups.
4. 'This is nothing compared to what happened to me'
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
When a woman constantly tells her friends that no matter what they are going through, it is nothing compared to what is happening to her, she may be a nightmare to be friends with. Instead of supporting her friends during their times of need, she is discrediting their struggles by claiming that her own are far worse than hers.
This can cause her friendships to suffer because her friends may start to feel like their emotions are being invalidated. This will make them feel like they can no longer open up about their troubles because they feel like they will be overlooked.
5. 'If you were a real friend, you would...'
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
A woman who always tells her friends that if they were real friends, they would do this or that, she could possibly be a nightmare to be friends with. This statement can come across as a manipulation tactic that she may use to get her way in friendships.
Instead of letting her friends be as they are, she will try and tell them the things that they need to do in order to fit into what she wants in a friend. They may say something like this in a way that almost comes off as helpful, but usually it is actually passive-aggressive and their way of putting someone down.
6. 'I'm just being honest'
Prostock-studio / Shutterstock
A woman who justifies her rude comments by saying that she is just being honest is most likely a nightmare to be friends with. By making a comment like this, she is disguising her negative comments and dismissing the feelings of the friend she has hurt. This kind of behavior can erode any sense of support that was found in the friendship and ruin the possibility of a balanced friendship. It will likely also make her friends lose confidence and feel undervalued.
“While constructive criticism can be a part of healthy relationships, in toxic friendships, criticism can be frequent, harsh, and unjustified. This can lead to decreased self-esteem and a feeling of being undervalued or disrespected,” explains Calm, a mental health company that offers mental health support to individuals.
7. 'I miss the old you'
Pressmaster / Shutterstock
A woman is likely a nightmare to be friends with if she constantly tells her friend that she misses the old them. This may not sound like a terrible comment, but if a woman says this to her friend who is successfully following her passions and reaching her goals, it can be extremely discrediting.
Instead of her friend feeling like they have grown into someone they should be proud of, it may make them feel like they have instead changed for the worse. They will stop feeling accepted by her, and it will inevitably cause the friendship to suffer.
8. 'My life is just more stressful than yours'
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
A woman making a comment to her friend expressing that her life is more stressful than theirs may be a sign that she is a nightmare to be friends with. By showing very little to no empathy for what her friends are going through, and instead always making things about herself, her friends will feel like they cannot go to her for emotional support.
It is really hard for a friendship to thrive if it feels one-sided. If one friend is expected to carry all of the emotional load, it is only a matter of time before they start feeling emotionally drained from the friendship and undervalued.
9. 'I was just joking'
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock
A woman who constantly tells her friends she is just joking after hurting them is a sign that she is a nightmare to be friends with. Similarly to when she tells her friends that they are too sensitive, comments like this are used so she can dismiss her behaviors that are making her a bad friend.
Instead of taking accountability for her actions, she will leave her friends second-guessing their self-worth and their judgment. She will use a phrase like this to defend herself against owning up to what she has done wrong, but it will end up hurting the relationship much more than if she were honest and took responsibility for herself.
10. 'You always make a big deal out of nothing'
BearFotos / Shutterstock
Saying a phrase like, “You always make a big deal out of nothing,” to her friends signals that a woman is a nightmare to be friends with. She is dismissing the feelings of her friends and is making them feel invalidated.
Instead of being supportive, she leaves her friends feeling like they are overreacting and like they are the only ones in the friendship who are empathetic and validating. A friendship that is emotionally one-sided like this fosters a toxic relationship between friends.
11. 'You are luckier to have me than I am to have you'
Valeria Venezia / Shutterstock
When a woman tells her friends that they are luckier to have her than she is to have them, she may be a nightmare to be friends with. Making a statement like this is a form of emotional manipulation, and it can hinder the esteem of her friends.
They may start to feel like no matter what they do, it will never be enough for her and she will never appreciate their friendship with them. Being in a friendship with a woman like this can be very bad for a person’s mental health. It is important to get out of friendships that are mentally and emotionally harmful.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
