Healing From Depression Doesn’t Always Feel Good — 10 Signs You’re Actually Getting Better
Cottonbro | Pexels You’ve spent the last couple of weeks in hiding; you’ve become a recluse. You spent your days sleeping, eating junk, and binge-watching the entire series of Bridgerton or Heated Rivalry.
Healing from depression isn't easy, but now that you’ve finally started to climb out of the darkness, things are finally seeming more stable. You are finally starting to get out of this most recent depressive episode. Now that you’re working your way back out of the hole of depression, slowly reaching towards the surface, you’re starting to show a few signs that mean you're actually getting better — so keep going; the fog is almost completely cleared.
Healing from depression doesn't always feel good — here are 10 signs you’re actually getting better:
1. Your sleep patterns are getting back to normal
You hit a wall about two weeks ago and started spending lots of extra time in bed. Even now that you are starting to feel “better,” it still takes a while to synchronize. You may become overwhelmed during the day and take a nap, but that leaves you feeling energized and staying up late.
Dr. Jean Kim, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at George Washington University, explains, "Sleep disturbance is a significant depression symptom, and changes in sleep patterns, such as insomnia, can signal, or even trigger, a depressive episode." This is your body's internal clock trying to reset itself after weeks of being thrown completely off course.
2. You start reaching out to friends again
Getty Images / Unsplash+
You suddenly find yourself reaching out to your friends, craving their attention after isolating yourself for a few weeks. It might be something as simple as texting them every day just to “check in,” or sending them a lengthy letter and random care package “just because.” You might even be overly physically affectionate, giving even more hugs and asking for cuddles at random times.
A study by Massachusetts General Hospital found that social connection was the single strongest protective factor against depression. That sudden urge to text your best friend every day and give everyone an extra-long hug isn't you being clingy or weird. It's your brain instinctively reaching for the one thing science says actually helps the most.
3. Your moods are still in a state of flux, but you feel less overwhelmed
You might not have completely stabilized yet, so your moods are still in a state of flux. Things may make you cry more than normal, or you may suddenly “need a moment” if you start to feel angry or anxious. You seem thrown off by sudden noises, an overload of information to process takes longer than usual, and making a simple mistake starts you down the spiral.
Licensed professional counselor Brittney Lindstrom explained that "the more severe depression becomes, the less insight and awareness we have regarding it," and notes that during recovery, "you may start thinking about all the good things in your life and feel guilty for having these good things in your life and still feeling sad or crying."
4. Your appetite evens out
One day, you may eat everything in sight, then you spend the next two days living off almost nothing. You get excited at the look of a meal, take a bite, and decide you can’t finish. That’s kind of how the world is for several days when you come out of a very low phase: colors are still dulled, smells are less intense, and everything seems to be turned down several notches more than normal.
The appetite swings that come with depression aren't random at all, researchers argue. They're driven by two completely different neurological pathways in the brain, which is why you can go from raiding the fridge to pushing food around your plate within the same 48 hours. As you come out of a depressive episode, those systems are essentially rebooting, so your appetite might feel like a broken compass for a while before it finds its direction again.
5. You start seeking out things that used to bring you joy
Daiga Ellaby / Unsplash+
You are usually a very open person. When you get low, it shows on your social media posts. As you try to get back to a place of normalcy, you look to any small reminders that you think will keep moving you upward.
Everyone sees it as your usual way of taking care of those around you; nobody realizes that all the motivational posts are really just for you. Licensed clinical social worker Cheryl Gerson states that "joyful music raises the spirits and distracts the mind from overthinking," and that finding external sources of positivity is a legitimate tool for rewiring your emotional state during recovery.
6. You're spending more time alone, but it feels peaceful
Being alone tends to always be dangerous for you, especially as you recover from a depressive episode. You avoid telling people why, but you make a very conscious effort to either have people physically near you or reach out electronically when you know you’ll be physically alone.
People are important to have nearby as you work hard to improve. The more social groups a person stays connected to, the more protected they are from future depression. Research has shown that this protective effect is actually even stronger for people who are already depressed than for those who aren't.
7. You start to feel music again, not just hear it
One of the best ways to regulate and try to control emotions is through music. You were told to use music to help you stay mindful, to stay energized, to stay active.
According to clinical hypnotherapist Keya Murthy, music-related hobbies are powerful tools for mental health, noting that "when you sing, you feel happy" and recommending music as a go-to mood regulator. Whether it's a playlist that gets you out of bed in the morning or the same sad song on repeat because it finally puts words to what you've been feeling, music gives your emotions somewhere to go when your brain can't sort them out on its own.
8. You begin treating little splurges as acts of care
Getty Images / Unsplash+
Retail therapy is real, and you take full advantage. Even just window shopping gets you out of the house, and a new outfit is just what you need to feel beautiful again.
A study in the Journal of Consumer Psychology found that making purchase decisions actually reduces lingering sadness because depression is strongly tied to the feeling that you've lost control over your own life, and choosing something for yourself hands that control right back to you. It's your brain reclaiming the ability to make a choice and feel like you have a say in your own life again.
9. You feel ready for the next chapter
Your therapist said the best way to stay positive is to stay in the present and “out of your thoughts.” Picking up a new hobby, starting a new routine, or even just picking back up a craft you lost interest in while depressed can help.
Therapist Miki Anderson advises that at the first signs of depression, routines that include "engaging in hobbies or activities that bring pleasure" can provide structure, improve mood, and "foster a sense of control, which is often diminished during depressive episodes."
10. You start tending to your space
You pride yourself on being organized, but that goes out the window as soon as you start to sink into a depression. Once you start to feel better, though, the messes you’ve let pile up enrage you, and they must go.
Depression can hit anyone at any time, and the way that depression looks in everyone can be very different. This means that the behavioral “signs” of recovery can also vary greatly.
Self-awareness is important, though, so if you suffer from depression, it might be good to think about the ways that depression and the climb back out will look on you. Knowing these small details can make a difference in your life and even help those around you begin to recognize what you need a little more easily.
Unwritten publishes content on relationships, love, mental health, wellness, and more.
