Your Happiness Totally Depends On Which Of These 3 Ways You Use Social Media
Dean Drobot | Canva You probably check social media at least once today, right? Social media has become such a normal part of our daily lives that most of us don't even think twice about pulling out our phones and seeing what's happening in other people's worlds.
Social media in one form or another is here to stay, but the reviews are mixed at best about whether all of this online "connection" is actually good for our emotional well-being. We certainly have more digital access to each other than ever before, yet we are also now able to constantly compare ourselves to those hundreds of "friends" around us. As a result, a lot of us are feeling pretty down about ourselves.
Your happiness totally depends on which of these three ways you use social media:
1. Using social media to compare and contrast
Constantly scanning other people's profiles to see how your life stacks up in comparison will only leave you with a sense of lack. Your children will seem like failures, and your relationship will appear in dire straits. Why? How likely is it that someone will post negative posts or images of themselves? I don't do that, do you?
Comparing ourselves to others is a recipe for self-esteem disaster, especially when you're already feeling insecure about yourself. Social media comparison sessions are sure to make you feel worse. If you're feeling insecure or unhappy about yourself or some area of your life, I recommend doing some work on that before you subject yourself to the perpetually perfect persona that most of us fabricate online.
A 2023 study found that scrolling through social media and comparing yourself to people who seem like they have better lives literally destroys your self-esteem and tanks your mental health. What happens is you keep seeing these upward comparisons where everyone looks happier and more successful than you, which makes you feel worse about yourself in the moment, and then those crappy feelings actually build up over time, so you end up with lower self-esteem.
2. Using social media to be a hater
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It's so easy to judge and criticize online, isn't it? People are constantly bragging and sharing way too much information about themselves. Safe behind your device screen, you can snark at their appearance, laugh at their lame humble brags, deride their political positions, and (if all else fails) nitpick their grammar and punctuation.
Yet, will doing so make you feel any better about yourself? Will being anonymously unkind online make you happy for longer than an evil moment? I doubt it, and therefore, I strongly recommend against it.
People who bully and criticize others online actually end up dealing with way higher rates of stress, depression, and anxiety than people who don't do it. Studies show that among people who cyberbullied others online, 16% were severely depressed, 32% got into frequent substance abuse, and 37% showed delinquent behavior, which basically means being cruel online makes you feel terrible about yourself instead of giving you any kind of real happiness or satisfaction.
3. Using social media to spread joy
There are plenty of people posting interesting articles and compelling content. Use social media to learn, think, grow, and connect. Sure, you can find like-minded people who will solidify your existing beliefs, or you can open your horizons to new thoughts and opinions. Social media can be a great resource for job offers or volunteer positions.
It can be used to connect with others in your chosen field or to support each other in life's endeavors. Or, at the least, on a hard day, social media is always good for a few funny posts and/or kitten videos. Aww, don't you feel better already?
A Harvard University study found that when you use social media in positive ways as part of your routine, it actually boosts your social well-being and mental health. The researchers discovered that how you use social media matters way more than just the amount of time you spend on it because using it to genuinely connect with people, learn new stuff, and find inspiration can make you happier instead of dragging you down.
The bottom line is, social media will always be what you make of it. It can bring you joy, happiness, connection, or comfort, or it can add to your feelings of being ostracized, angry, and alone. You are in charge of how frequently you interact with it and how you choose to respond to others while there. If you are struggling with feelings of insecurity and unhappiness, social media might not be the best place for you unless you can cultivate positive connections with others while on it.
So, pay attention. If you feel terrible after spending time on a social media site, it's time to take a break from it and figure out why you are responding that way.
Social media is a permanent part of our lives, so learning how to use it to improve our connection and happiness with the world will be beneficial to us all. Understanding its shortcomings and flaws will also help us to keep the power and influence of social media in check. So, spend your time online wisely and carefully; your happiness might depend on it.
Lisa Kaplin is a psychologist, certified professional life and executive coach, and a highly experienced corporate speaker. She helps people overcome stress and overwhelm to find joy in their personal lives and success and meaning in their professional lives.
