The 'Dark' Reality You Need To Embrace — If You Want A Happy, Balanced Life

It doesn't have to be scary!

Light and Shadow Flamingo Images / Shutterstock

Have you found that you love certain parts of your personality and behavior and recognize that these same traits occasionally invite challenges?

Do you feel like your thoughts and actions sometimes need a little balancing?

Honoring both your light and shadow qualities can enhance your life.

But first, you'll need to figure out how to tell the difference between your light qualities and your shadow qualities.


This can be done in all sorts of different ways, like with a natal astrology reading or simply by exploring your own personal skills and challenges.

Regardless of how you do it, the goal is to identify potential strengths and weaknesses in your personality that occasionally need to be balanced.

For instance, Pisces are often described as dreamy and intuitive. The shadow side of these Pisces traits might be a disconnect from reality.

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As an example, I will share one of my personal strengths that sometimes needs to be re-calibrated.

I find it incredibly easy to breeze through life and not get attached to the fine print, details, or even the outcome. This is a free and fun feeling. The easy flow helps me work as a psychic.


I receive information in a steady stream. I don’t really pay attention to the way it comes in. I am able to feel, see, hear and know things, in a way where there's no separation.

I am aware of much more than just the words people choose to share. This serves me well in life.

On the flip side, one of my challenges is my lack of appreciation for details and the little pieces that make a whole. I have to make a real effort to slow down and take in all the pieces to the puzzle.

I have learned to welcome help in the areas of life that are detail-oriented. I depend on someone to keep my website and other tech-related projects in order.

How To Identify Your Shadow And Light

When determining where your shadow and light dwell, look at what comes naturally to you.


Imagine you are a warrior that everyone can count on. You love challenges and you love to execute a winning plan. The key is determining if you believe your identity, self-worth, and self-love are only found on one side of your personality.

Maybe earlier in the warrior’s life, discipline and hard work paid off with many wins. The warrior energy served you so well, it became your identity. Over time this fierce, unrelenting energy began to enslave you.

Anytime the warrior stepped out of the intense effort to succeed, she felt like a failure. It became impossible to relax and enjoy a peaceful moment. This warrior energy, like all traits, can be at home in the shadow and light.

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The lines of light and shadow become blurred if we don’t create balance in our life.

The belief that one part of our personality is worthy of love and respect over the balancing trait is untrue. They all serve us well in different scenarios.

It's just as important to be able to let go of the reins, trust and relax as it is to be confident and take charge.

What area in your life could use some balance?

Strong leaders sometimes need to step back and recognize that they can’t control everything.

Learning to pause and receive is a huge skill that will bring balance into their life.

Are you someone that loves creature comforts in your home? Perhaps your challenge will be getting outside your comfort zone and trying new things.


Are you someone interested in everything and loves new experiences? This is a very fun way to move through life, just make sure you have the skill set to focus, commit and see things to completion.

Do you love emotions, art, and all the untethered things in life? I can relate, just practice some grounding techniques and intentional living.

Are you passionate and dramatic in your everyday life? This is a fun place to be, just make sure you can balance it with true deep connections, including the connection with yourself.

Are you a logical and organized thinker that moves through life successfully checking off the boxes? Make sure you connect to the magical and creative energy of the Universe and get really good at manifesting.


Are you someone that seeks balance and harmony to the point of self-sacrifice? Remember to empower yourself and take a stand for what you need.

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Are you a deeply mysterious person that dives into deep emotions, maybe you even enjoy thinking about very heavy topics? If this is you, make sure to balance your days with high vibrational colors and activities? You will need a balance between the isolation and deep emotions that call to you.

Are you someone that lives life to the fullest? You see the entire world as your home, ready to explore and enjoy. This is a beautiful way of moving through life, just remember the beauty of committed relationships and creating lasting bonds.


Are you someone who believes hard work and dedication will take you far in life? If this is you, make sure you listen to others as well as enjoy days of relaxation.

Are you someone that will always side with the underdog and the nonconformists? It's great to see yourself as expansive and helping to create a new paradigm. Strive to create a world where you feel respected and comfortable with traditional thinkers as well as the new age people.

Are you someone that's sensitive and feels everything around you? Make sure you have a sanctuary in your home, trust your gut, and find loving people to spend time with.

Taking Action For Balance

Writing this helped me recognize the importance of pausing and paying attention to what I’m feeling, not just what I am receiving.


I noticed how I slip into observation mode and receive universal messages, but often don’t pay attention to my personal feelings.

I am motivated to pay more attention to how I am experiencing the moment balanced with the collective experience that's always available to me.

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Polly Wirum is an intuitive life coach, and writer who helps people discover their deeper selves through intuitive astrological reading, psychic reading, and spiritual life coaching.