The Art Of Self-Compassion: 5 Simple Habits Of People Who Don't Bully Themselves For Being Human
Habits that help people treat themselves with more kindness.
Valentina Kondrasyuk | Unsplash Are you having trouble sleeping or waking up in the middle of the night? Are you on edge? Irritable? Does every task feel like too much? It's time to develop a deeper level of self-compassion. But how can you give yourself grace when you feel so burnt out? It happens to the best of us, especially during trying times.
Sometimes it feels like a freight train has run us over. But in those moments, it's important to give ourselves grace. This kind of self-compassion isn't about denying responsibility; it's about refusing to bully yourself while you're learning. And the people who practice self-compassion consistently share a handful of simple habits that make their inner world feel calmer and far less punishing.
Here are five simple habits of people who don't bully themselves for being human:
1. They recognize when they're not showing themselves enough compassion
To show yourself compassion, you must first recognize that you aren't showing yourself enough compassion. If you were self-compassionate, you would have taken a break or given yourself some slack. You must also acknowledge that you are experiencing a lot.
If you are a highly sensitive person or empath, you may feel that others don’t seem as deeply impacted and are dealing with similar circumstances. The truth is that everyone feels it at a deeper level. Your nervous system is in a constant state of stress and anxiety because the events are continuous. There seems to be no end in sight.
Take a moment to recognize how you are feeling, and acknowledge that you are going through a lot. It is OK if you are exhausted. It is OK if you need more sleep than usual, or if you want to watch more TV, or need more rituals, like baths and walks.
A study of emotional numbness as related to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) supported how we may tend to “leave our bodies,” stay in our heads, and numb ourselves when we're stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious. You can numb yourself through overworking, social media, television, food, alcohol, and many other avenues. I am going to ask you to recognize all the behaviors you are engaging in and be kind to yourself. Judgment is not helpful.
2. They don't wait until they're exhausted to rest
sukiyaki via Shutterstock
If you don’t take a break, your brain will find a way to make you take a break. You may feel distracted, mindlessly eating, or scrolling social media. Maybe you have been engaging in numbing activities unconsciously. You can recognize them and want to change.
Elevated rejuvenation involves consciously choosing what truly feeds your soul. What works for you may not work for others, but some common themes are rejuvenating. Before I go into the rejuvenation tips, if you are not feeling ready for that yet, if you are experiencing anxiety and need support with that, start with my blog post on beating anxiety.
Personal development coach Blair Nicole Nastasi explained, "Loving yourself isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a process that requires time and patience. Just like you wouldn’t expect to run a marathon without training, you can’t expect to develop self-love without practice. Fortunately, you don’t have to change your entire life to get started. You simply have to decide. By committing even five minutes each day to a self-love practice, you’re teaching yourself a new way to show up for yourself."
3. They stop and smell the flowers — literally
As a human being, your physical body is not meant to be inside all the time. Being outside in nature can rejuvenate you. "When you walk in nature, your endorphins (happy hormones) are flowing, which will heal your hurts, both physical and emotional. Walking also helps you return to your equilibrium. Each step you take makes your balance shift on that side, and then the next step crosses your center and takes your balance to the other side," life coach Keya Murthy advised.
What if you consciously chose to spend 15 minutes a day outside? You could just sit outside, take a stroll, enjoy the trees and flowers, or even go on a run. Hiking can also help you focus on the outdoors, your steps, and the trail. It is a wonderful way to connect with nature and regroup.
4. They notice what they're feeling instead of numbing it
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
What is mindfulness, anyway? It is being fully present in the moment. Most stress and anxiety come from worrying about the future or thinking about the past. Research on mindfulness-based stress reduction found that if you make the effort to be mindful, then you can ground yourself in what is actually happening in the moment.
A simple way to practice mindfulness is to be fully present in an activity you already do, like washing the dishes, folding laundry, or even filing. Pick an activity and choose to focus solely on that activity. Don’t think about what’s next or the past. When thoughts come, you can notice them and say, “That’s nice, I will think about that later,” and refocus.
Try this and sense how you feel before and after the activity.
5. They write their feelings down
There are so many journaling techniques you can practice. To develop self-compassion, I am going to recommend you try the following:
- Set aside time to write, maybe even outside.
- Write out all your feelings, thoughts, worries, and dump them all out onto the page. Do this without judgment, so that all the words flow.
- Take a breath and release it all, surrender the solutions to the divine.
- Now, write down what you need, what do you really want to do today? Allow the ideas to flow.
- Take a moment and schedule or actually do what your heart wants.
Developing self-compassion takes time. When you are developing self-compassion, you must be patient, especially when you are burnt out. The highest level of self-compassion is to take time out for yourself to choose your rejuvenation consciously. Choose elevated self-care, journaling, meditation, mindfulness, and nature.
Kavita Melwani is a certified empowerment coach, hypnotherapist, past-life regressionist, certified money marketing and soul coach, and a Reiki master.
