Antisocial People Are Known For Saying 8 Phrases That Confuse Extroverts
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock If you're an extrovert, it's hard to imagine spending a long weekend home alone and being happy about it. To them, that would feel totally antisocial and sad. But for introverts, it's natural.
If given the choice, extroverts would choose a crowded room over a quiet night in every day, which is why someone feeling antisocial is so confusing. Luckily, these misunderstandings can be solve with just a little communication.
8 phrases antisocial people say that seriously confuse extroverts
1. 'I'd rather stay inside'
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People who feel mostly antisocial don't need to go out often. Every blue moon is fine, but if they had to choose, they'll generally say they'd rather stay home. Sometimes this can go too far, with them camping out indoors and eventually feeling stuck.
While an extrovert might find this confusing and tell the introvert to plan a day out, it doesn't need to be so dramatic. As Joanna Bettmann Schaefer, MSW, PhD, said, "Research shows [that] with as little as 10 minutes outside, we begin to feel better, improving symptoms such as anxiety, depression, cognitive function, stress, and other issues."
This is a great compromise, and as long as both the introvert and extrovert are communicating, they can stop assuming the other person is doing it wrong.
2. 'I don't mind being alone. I actually kind of like it'
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I know it's hard for extroverts to believe, but antisocial people mean it when they say, "I don't mind being alone." No, they aren't shy or withdrawn. Some people feel most at peace when they're alone, and that's OK.
Aside from it being a core personality trait for them, antisocial people understand the benefits of alone time. One study found that people who learned the benefits of solitude experienced more positive emotion during a brief period of solitude.
But extroverts see alone time as lonely time. It often makes them feel depressed if they stay alone for too long. But that doesn't mean either are wrong. We're all just different!
3. 'I actually have nothing to add'
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Extroverts cannot imagine a setting where they genuinely have nothing to add. At least not when they're not in a fight and trying to ice someone out. They always have thoughts and opinions and even stories they can add, after all.
People who feel antisocial don't talk unless they have something to say. It might come off as avoidant, but they aren't trying to give anyone a hard time. If they say, "I have nothing to add," it's because they really mean it. But for extroverted people, they don't get it.
They want to, but their minds are wired differently. As licensed marriage and family therapist Blake Griffin Edwards, LMFT, explained, "Extraverts [sic] have more need to communicate to adapt. In other words, extraverts verbalize and then are better able to process how to respond to their environment, depending on how objects of their verbalizations react."
That's why they can't stop talking. While antisocial people thrive in their own heads, extroverts are built different.
4. 'I just don't feel like talking right now'
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Once again, the only time the super social person has no interest in talking is when they're sick or they're angry at you.
People who feel antisocial are the opposite. They'll give you a good hour-long conversation (or whatever feels right), but once that hour is up, extroverts should prepare themselves. They'll likely hear, "I just don't feel like talking" and that can feel offensive to an extrovert. But it isn't personal. They're honoring their own needs.
5. 'I'm totally OK with missing out'
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When people are feeling antisocial, they really don't mind missing out. Extroverts hype everything up as a big deal, but for antisocial people, they seriously couldn't care less. They don't find comfort in passing the bottle or partying until early in the morning.
It might deprive them of memories (at least in the minds of extroverts), but they've weighed both sides and they'd rather be home alone than force themselves into situations they don't want.
6. 'I'd rather text than call'
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If there's one thing that infuriates antisocial people, it's extroverts who'd rather call than text. Even worse, they call with no warning! Yes, sometimes an introvert wants to talk on the phone, especially if they're on a long and boring drive, but if they just got off work, they'd prefer a voice memo or a text.
Does it make sense for extroverts? No. For them, they get all their energy from connecting on the phone with people they care about. And it's not that introverts don't want to connect (remember: human beings are social creatures), it's that a little goes a long way for them, especially when they're feeling antisocial.
7. 'I don't need more friends'
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One of the truly most confusing things an extrovert can hear is that someone has no interest in making new friends. They assume the worst, that the person is snobby and feels to good for others, or that they're depressed and sinking into a dark depression.
But for someone who is feeling antisocial, the friends they have are enough. They probably already feel like they don't give enough to those friends in the first place. So, unless they've known someone since kindergarten, they'll have to pass.
Every once in a while, though, an introvert will meet someone new and be willing to open up their lives to them. The beautiful thing about this is that it means the connection was genuine and the antisocial person must really, truly admire and respect you. Otherwise, they'll give you the bare minimum in social effort.
8. 'I don't like parties and clubs'
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Big, crowded social gatherings don't mix well with antisocial people. It doesn't matter who's there or what day it is. If they can, they'll usually tell people they simply don't like parties and clubs.
Unlike extroverts who love a good wild public gathering, antisocial people can't stand it. That's why they avoid 90% of invitations. If they don't have to, they aren't going.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
