People Who Don't Fit In Because They're Not Fake Usually Avoid 8 Phrases During Small Talk
Truman Rexti | Pexels Belonging is a natural human need, but so many people push their true selves away just to fit in. When someone feels insecure, they people-please to receive the validation they need.
But a person who refuses to be fake, and doesn't fit in because of it, usually avoids using certain language during small talk conversations.
8 phrases people who don't fit in avoid saying because they're not fake:
1. 'That sounds really interesting'
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Yes, sometimes we have to pretend to be interested in things we don't actually care about in conversations. But in small talk with people who are trying to find shared interests and make connections, lying or misrepresenting what we care about can harm us.
An authentic person might ask questions about someone's interests, but they're rarely going to say "that sounds really interesting" if they don't believe it.
2. 'We should do something soon'
You've probably heard people say "we should do something soon" or "I'll let you know." But those people have no real intention of making plans. They say it to be liked and to appease someone else, but they're not being honest about their intentions.
Even if it means being on the outskirts of a group, a genuine person isn't going to pretend to make plans with someone they don't actually mesh with or want to know. They won't make invisible promises that end up hurting them down the road.
3. 'I'm just being honest here'
Ironically, someone who relies on a phrase like "I'm just brutally honest" is probably trying to avoid accountability. They're hiding their cruelty and lack of maturity behind honesty when they're anything but.
The kinds of people who refuse to be fake might say something very honest, but they're never going to invalidate someone's feelings. They don't avoid apologizing when they say the wrong thing, either.
4. 'I'm down for whatever you want'
We often don't realize that people tend to like us more than we perceive them to. For people with attention issues, they overcompensate for likability with passiveness and people-pleasing.
They ignore their own desires and say things like "I'm down for whatever you want." They're giving up parts of their identity to become a part of the group.
But someone who's not interested in faking connections will always avoid these kinds of passive phrases. They're not ignoring who they are just to be liked.
5. 'I'll be here if you need me'
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Instead of taking initiative or giving someone space to ask for support, fake people tend to throw around vague phrases like "I'll be here if you need me" to cover their bases. Despite not offering any real help, it makes them seem empathetic and supportive without doing any real work.
Even though empathy is typically bonding in social situations, genuine people would much rather invest in being supportive than pretending to offer help without any intention of doing it.
6. 'I feel the exact same way'
Someone trying to be liked or wanting to feel like a part of a group may pretend to have the same beliefs or opinions as others. They're building connections that probably won't last, but at least they don't have to voice an opposing opinion that puts their fake closeness at risk.
For someone who's truly authentic and stands by their values, they aren't afraid to take a step back in these moments. Either they say what they mean and let it land, or they choose to save their energy for conversations with people who can embrace differences.
7. 'This weather is crazy'
According to psychologist Dr. Thomas Smithyman, talking about weather might seem boring on the surface, but it's actually a social test where we reveal our social competence to another person.
For people who need validation, asking questions about the weather or using phrases like this can help create a shared understanding. That way, they can chat without being awkward.
But someone who refuses to be fake doesn't play these social games. They're willing to have deeper conversations and prefer to show competence in their own unique way, rather than making pretend small talk.
They're okay with not fitting in. They don't follow the social script, and often find people to bond with on a deeper level because they don't.
8. 'You can trust me'
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"You can tell me anything" or "you can trust me" are obvious signs of a fake person trying to feign closeness with someone they don't actually know. Instead of building up real trust through time and commitment, they expect people to overshare and trauma-dump from the moment they meet.
While it might feel comforting to someone who is left out or like an outsider to engage in this behavior, over time it's isolating. That's why an authentic, genuine person prefers to build up to vulnerability at their own pace, and with the right kinds of people.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
