11 Annoying Greetings That Immediately Turn People Off When You First Meet Them

When you meet someone for the first time, the way you greet them can set the tone for the entire interaction. Certain greetings that are meant to be informal can immediately put people off, depending on the situation. They can come across as overly familiar or even disrespectful at times. It doesn't always have to be about being too formal, either, but striking the right balance is important.

Enthusiasm can be a great icebreaker, but overdoing it can feel forced or even overwhelming to people. More reserved individuals might find it off-putting and think you are simply faking the positivity. There's no winning when it comes to some of these greetings, so tread carefully and choose an approach that matches the setting that you are in.

Here are 11 annoying greetings that immediately turn people off when you first meet them:

1. 'Guess who?'

a woman rolls her eyes after a man greets her with a guess who even though she doesn’t know him Nicoleta Ionescu | Shutterstock

This is a surefire way to get people to dislike you. Making someone guess who it is makes sense after you've known someone for quite some time as a little joke, but after meeting them once or twice, it doesn't work. Why would they be able to guess who you are after only meeting once before? It can also come across as arrogant, as you think highly of yourself and expect others to do the same. A greeting should strike a balance between politeness and authenticity.

You have a short time to make a killer impression on someone you meet, so why not make it count, or better yet, use the generic greetings that work just as well. A study from the University of Glasgow found that brief greetings like 'hello' can shape first impressions. This is due to vocal utterances, which lead to instant judgments about personality traits like trustworthiness or likability. A greeting can similarly shape how others perceive you. So, make sure you make a good impression rather than saying a stale joke that doesn't land.

2. 'You look tired'

a man tells a woman he meets for the first time that she looks tired takayuki | Shutterstock

This comment negatively spotlights the person's appearance. Saying this can be taken the wrong way by the other person and can make you look insensitive. You should never comment on someone's appearance unless asked to. It brings unwanted attention to a sensitive topic. When you say this, you are implying that they are not looking their best, which can make them feel self-conscious or judged.

Romeo Vitellie, Ph.D., states that specific facial cues can influence our initial encounters with others. It often takes thirty seconds to up to two minutes to form our judgments on others. Vitelli also noted that people who appear tired due to droopy eyelids or other signs of exhaustion may be perceived as less intelligent or mentally agile. It's better to offer more positive greetings to others that focus on the interaction rather than on how they look.

3. 'You're shorter than I expected'

a man tells his blind date that she is shorter than he expected Pheelings media | Shutterstock

Remember when we talked previously about not making comments on others' appearance? Referring to how tall or short they are is just as rude. People know what they look like when they leave their house, so other than to make small talk, this subject is unnecessary when you're first meeting someone. People have no control over their height, and mentioning it can make them feel like there is something wrong with it.

First impressions are crucial, especially if this is someone new that you have to see every day. Rather than engaging with the person's character or abilities, the focus is immediately placed on something they can't change about themselves. Complimenting someone's personality, interests, or achievements is always better. It creates a more welcoming atmosphere and makes them feel more valued.

4. 'So, what's your deal?'

a man asks a woman what her deal is during a home gathering Dikushin Dmitry | Shutterstock

First impressions rely on mutual respect, so beginning with an intrusive question like asking about their deal may come off as overly direct. Instead of coming across as friendly curiosity, this greeting feels a little confrontational. It assumes that the person has a problem with the greeter when it's more like the other way around. It begins to sound more like an interrogation than an invitation to connect.

A greeter who says this might be making hasty judgments about the other person, and they never even got the chance to speak. A study published by Psychological Science found that people form judgments about others' traits within the first 100 milliseconds of meeting them, which is primarily based on the person's facial appearance and non-verbal cues. A better approach would be to ask them questions about themselves rather than rushing to defensiveness.

5. 'How much money do you make?'

a woman asks how much money a man she just met makes PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock

Asking what someone does for a living is normal, but asking how much money they make might be taking a step too far. People generally prefer establishing trust and rapport before discussing personal finances with strangers. So many different things can go through a person's mind when asked this question during the first interaction. They can't tell whether you are trying to measure your professional status with theirs, or you tie their value to their income.

This tactless greeting dismisses the other qualities that they provide, like their character, experiences, or even passions. Whether it's in a professional setting or a casual encounter, it's a superficial metric. A more respectful approach is to ask about someone's talents or interests. This invites discourse and an opportunity to understand them better. Sooner or later, they will share those details with you.

6. 'Wow, you're late'

a groom and his new wife greet her uncle who he has never met before rudely at their wedding Ground Picture | Shutterstock

This greeting puts the other person down and can make them feel embarrassed. Imagine you show up late to an important event like a wedding or a date, and someone loudly says this to you. It can feel like you're being put on the spot over something so trivial, especially if you were only seconds or minutes late. A simple apology and a little forgiveness go a long way here. It's also understanding that time is just a social construct, and it's not that big of a deal when it comes to personal events.

People's view of his greeting is different when you are in a workplace setting because you can't just apologize your way out of it, as it goes on a record of attendance. According to a survey by Preply, when it comes to work, one of the most critical factors in making a great first impression is punctuality. Being late on your first day is never excusable, especially if you are trying to make a good impression on your boss and co-workers.

7. 'You remind me of my ex'

a man tells his tinder date that she reminds him of his ex on their first meeting MAD_Production | Shutterstock

Talk about a mood killer. Even if it's intended as a joke, saying this to a new potential partner is the equivalent of putting all your emotional baggage on the table. Most people don't want to be compared to someone else right away, especially your ex. Focusing on the new person and getting to know them is better than rehashing your personal history at the start. After all, nobody likes to be a placeholder until you and your ex get back together.

We can all agree that exes should be avoided at least until the two of you get to know each other. According to a study by Dating Advice, 64% of Americans prefer not to talk about past relationships during the first date. This sentiment is particularly strong among Hispanics, with 75% avoiding the topic, and among younger individuals between the ages of 18 and 24. The best approach is to stay present and give this new person a fighting chance.

8. 'Where are you from? No, where are you really from?'

a woman asks where another woman is from but is really asking her ethnicity nimito | Shutterstock

When people ask this question upon meeting you for the first time, they don't actually mean that they want to know where you are from. They want to know your ethnicity and nationality, as well as where your parents came from. It's a loaded question that requires a lot of nuance to decipher, but it would be so much simpler if the person asking would ask what they really wanted to ask.

A study published in the British Journal of Hospital Medicine found that asking the question can act as a rejection of a person's self-identity. Regardless of intent, the question is considered a micro-aggression that implies that individuals from different racial backgrounds are considered outsiders. All of which can have significant impacts on their mental health. In Western nations like the United States and the United Kingdom, it’s easy to say that you're an 'American' or 'British', but even that's enough for some people, and they will ask this question despite it not being grammatically correct.

9. 'Let's cut to the chase'

a man rushes his barista despite her talking to him Inside Creative House | Shutterstock

Some greetings immediately put people off because they feel performative. For instance, why must a person announce to the world that they hate small talk? Confidence is silent, while insecurities are loud. It's not only rude to the person you're meeting for the first time, but it makes it seem as if no one is worth your time. You don't just ruin the impression with the new person; you also ruin the image that other people had of you.

Participating in small talk has some benefits, like helping you socialize when you don't want to and making you happy. A study from the University of Arizona found that while meaningful conversations are linked to greater happiness, small talk doesn't harm people's well-being. While small talk may not be harmful, it doesn't provide the same level of satisfaction as a full-blown conversation. So, for your mental health, maybe you should actually want to engage in small talk now and again.

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10. 'Do you even know anyone here?'

a man asks another man if he knows anyone around here Ground Picture | Shutterstock

This greeting is all about tone and diction. Say it too aggressively, and it comes off as standoffish, but say it inquisitively, and it could sound like you are concerned. A study published by Sage Journals found that the tone of survey questions can significantly affect people's answers. This is why not only what you say matters, but how you say it. How you speak to others can tell a lot about you and your relationship with them.

Nonverbal cues help determine which version of this greeting is being said. A smile and relaxed posture steer in a more positive direction. The gentler you are, the more receptive the other person will be. You don't want your first impression to be someone berating another person with questions you don’t need answers to.

11. 'Let's get this over with'

a woman rudely tries to speed up a job interview VH-studio | Shutterstock

It's not the best thing to say to someone you've just met, especially if what the two of you need to discuss is rather important. While it's okay for it to come from a long-time associate who is joking with you, when it's a serious meeting like a job interview, it's not something that you would find nice. It makes the person to whom it is being said feel unimportant, and their issue is not being taken seriously.

How can you even greet someone when the first thing that comes out of your mouth is an aggressive ending? It's not a pleasant greeting when you think about it. No one wants to feel like an obligation that someone else has to endure. In the end, how you greet someone sets the tone for everything that follows, so annoying greetings like this can shut down connections before they even begin.

Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.