People Who Blame Their Parents For Everything Wrong In Their Lives Usually Say 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Andrey Arkusha / Shutterstock Some people can’t help but blame their parents for everything wrong in their lives. Of course, there are situations where this can be true.
How we are raised directly impacts how we view life as adults and a traumatic childhood leaves a wound that can be difficult to heal. If someone feels their parents failed them, they may use it as an excuse for every bad thing that happens.
The phrases people say when they blame their parents for everything wrong in their lives:
1. ‘My parents made me this way’
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I'm sure you've met someone who has a consistently bad attitude. It doesn’t matter what's going on in their lives. They see everything as negative. They struggle to take accountability for their actions and instead blame everyone else. Someone like this is difficult to be around, and they may never admit they are responsible for their actions.
If someone feels like their parents set them up for failure, they may use them as an excuse for their bad behavior. If they treat someone poorly, they default to saying they learned it from their parents. They may even make you feel bad by reminding you they were doomed from the start.
2. ‘It doesn’t matter how hard I work. They did everything they could to keep me from succeeding’
I’m thankful to have grown up with supportive parents. However, I sometimes felt disadvantaged because we didn’t have as much money as some of my friends. I knew my parents worked hard and never blamed them for what I sometimes saw as shortcomings, but others believe their parents purposely set them up for disaster and that they’ll never succeed because of it.
Someone like this will use their upbringing as an excuse when they don’t get a promotion or their relationship fails. Pointing a finger at their parents is an easy way to wiggle their way out of holding themselves accountable. They believe their upbringing was the problem, and every hurdle could have been avoided if they had had an upper hand in life. They don’t realize that they are holding themselves back because their parents aren’t the only factor in why they feel unsuccessful.
3. ‘My life would be perfect if they did the right things’
We’ve all heard someone say, ‘It’s all your fault!’ They blame everyone else around them because they are unhappy with themselves. Sometimes, one little mistake can feel like the end of the world. Maybe their parents didn’t send them to the best school, or they didn’t get them the most expensive gifts growing up. To them, this feels like the ultimate failure. Now, they feel they’re stuck where they are because their parents didn’t do enough.
This can leave well-meaning parents feeling guilty and may permanently damage their bonds. The adult child may not realize how their words hurt their parents.
4. ‘I have so much childhood trauma’
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Trauma is a valid concern. Things may not seem like a big deal to us but can be heartbreaking to someone else. However, if someone blames their parents for everything wrong in their lives, they may be weaponizing the word to make everyone around them feel bad. Deeply hurt individuals may make the people around them feel sympathetic. They may hold them to a different standard.
Childhood trauma is a real problem. It can leave people with mental and physical health problems that stick with them through adulthood. When trauma is mentioned to escape accountability for their actions, it can soon become frustrating for others.
5. ‘They always loved my siblings more’
Favoritism is a difficult issue that may be more common than we'd expect. Some parents give one child special attention and not the others. Being on the receiving end of this treatment can be heartbreaking and may cause long-term self-esteem problems.
Still, it’s not always fair to blame our parents for everything just because we weren't their favorite. We all perceive things differently, and feeling like they weren’t the favorite can come from jealousy or low self-esteem. This often comes from a place of hurt, but it’s important to work through the problems rather than ruminate on them.
6. ‘I had to teach myself everything I know’
Everyone has shortcomings. No matter how hard we try to improve them, some things are out of our control. Instead of admitting this, people might jump to blaming their parents. It takes vulnerability to look at ourselves and admit our faults. Saying we have them only because of our parents’ failure isn’t always fair.
Of course, we rely on our parents to teach us the fundamentals of life for success. It’s also our responsibility to fill in any gaps. Pointing the finger at someone else is always easier, which may be why they feel everything is their parents’ fault.
7. ‘It must be genetic’
Genes are our foundation, affecting everything from the likelihood we’ll get an illness to the physical traits we inherit. Traits we deem less than reliable can pass from one generation to another, but outside forces impact our lives just as much. Blaming your parents for your downfall because of genetics may not be the full story.
There is a reason to look at your genetics when something feels off. Genetics affect how our brains are wired and the way we react to hormones. Someone who blames their parents for everything may take this a little too far, thinking their problems are out of their control.
8. ‘You wouldn’t believe what they put me through’
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Getting sympathy from others can make this type of person feel better about themselves. It can help them feel validated when they bring up their parents’ issues in conversation. They’ll share how difficult their childhood was and how they were put through unspeakable pain. It’s important to believe people when they open up about their pain, but it can be hard to accept when someone never takes accountability for their own actions.
Blame is often used as leverage by these people to get what they want from others. They may say this phrase less to work through their problems and more to win people over.
9. ‘I was never good enough for them’
Some parents put unreachable expectations on their children. This can make them feel as though they were never good enough. They may push themselves to achieve and struggle to move forward after failure.
Adult children may treat their parents poorly because they never felt accepted or validated. It can cause them to blame their parents for everything, instead of trying to process the emotions that came from their childhood.
Expectations are difficult to live up to. When talking to a group, someone who felt too much pressure from their parents may vent about it or use it as an excuse to explain away why they’re underperforming at work or not giving their relationships enough attention.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
