People Who Are Real & Genuine Almost Always Have These 11 Very Awkward Habits
Asier Romero | Shutterstock Truly authentic people often make space in their routines for the somewhat uncomfortable things that most people avoid, like vulnerability and personal growth. Without leaning into the discomfort and awkwardness of these hard conversations and personal ambitions, they wouldn’t be who they truly are. So, it’s not surprising that people who are real and genuine almost always have certain very awkward habits, because without cultivating resilience in the face of discomfort, they can’t grow and progress.
Whether it’s hard conversations and expressing their real emotions or admitting they don’t know how to do something, they’re not afraid to be uncomfortable. While the average person might suppress these feelings, perform in social situations, and avoid discomfort, they lean into them.
People who are real and genuine almost always have these 11 very awkward habits
1. Admitting they don’t know something
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Compared to overconfident people who overpromise and underdeliver in relationships and workplaces, real and genuine people often have a sense of intellectual humility that protects them from missing out on opportunities to learn and grow. They are comfortable with phrases like “Can I ask you a question?” and “I don’t know how to do that,” but they’re even more willing to take the extra step of seeking an answer and asking for help.
While asking for help in these situations isn’t always easy or comfortable, a Stanford Report suggests that these are the conversations that prompt opportunities to learn, cultivate better bonds with people, and make others feel important. Of course, it takes a lot of personal self-assuredness to make mistakes and admit they need help, but real and genuine people almost always have these habits in their back pocket.
2. Leaning into awkward silence
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While some people refuse to tolerate silence in their conversations and fill gaps with unnecessary small talk, oversharing, and attention-seeking phrases, people who are real and genuine almost always have the ability to lean into “awkward” pauses.
Of course, as a Pediatrics study explains, it’s hardly ever comfortable to embrace silence, whether you’re alone or in a conversation, but authentic people leverage it to regulate emotions, reflect, and think before they speak.
They may listen more than they talk, but that’s one of their most admirable, quiet qualities. They provide space for other people to express themselves and give everyone a thoughtful break to reflect before adding their next thought.
3. Asking simple questions others are afraid to ask
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Whether it’s a clarifying question that may seem obvious in a work meeting or circling back to introductions in a busy conversation when someone feels excluded, people who are real and genuine aren’t afraid to ask questions, even when it’s difficult or uncomfortable.
While the average person may stray away and linger in confusion for the sake of protecting their self-image, these authentic people aren’t afraid to ask questions, especially if they’ll help everyone else.
As a 2021 study explains, asking questions tends to open up clear lines of communication and offer a sense of importance to everyone in the room. So, even if everyone else is too uncomfortable or shy to ask the question, they’re probably going to benefit from an authentic person’s willingness to ask it.
4. Prompting deeper discussions
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While shallow, surface-level conversations tend to feel less awkward for people, especially when they’ve just met, a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology argues that most people are yearning for the intimacy and connection of interactions with more depth and meaning.
So, even if it’s uncomfortable to break through the small talk of an interaction or the performative masks people wear trying to make a good first impression, everyone tends to feel more valued and comfortable once there’s a deeper connection and meaningful vibe to the interaction. It’s one of the awkward habits people who are real and genuine typically have in conversations, but that certainty doesn’t make it a bad thing.
5. Not faking positivity
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Whether they’re stuck around someone they don’t like or in an awkward situation with someone sucking up all the attention, people who are real and genuine don’t fake positivity or enthusiasm to make everyone else feel more comfortable. Especially in our society, where convenience and comfort are the “main goals” for so many, it’s not surprising that embarrassment and awkwardness are underexperienced.
Yet, our brains aren’t just wired for idleness. They thrive when we’re in uncomfortable, unfamiliar situations. These are the conversations and interactions that add value to our lives and make things more meaningful. So, even if it seems small to make the decision, subconsciously or not, to not perform around other people, it’s an intentionally powerful one for authentic people.
6. Correcting themselves and changing their minds
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While it’s often natural to resist changing your mind, especially in conversations or debates that challenge values integrated into their social and personal identity, the intelligence and emotional stability that form a person’s authenticity allow them to do it well.
Whether it’s small corrections in one-on-one conversations about things they said or larger value-shifting changes to their beliefs, people who are real and genuine are comfortable with the awkwardness and discomfort of changing their minds.
7. Being honest all the time
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A study from Current Opinion in Psychology argues that telling the truth is often a bonding, trust-building experience in relationships, but sometimes, it has the power to spark discomfort and undermine well-being. Whether it’s sharing a negative comment someone made behind their back or being honest about losing feelings in a relationship, people who are real and genuine are generally open about their feelings and honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Of course, there are some situations where honesty is unnecessary and cruel, but when it comes to expressing personal feelings and being vulnerable, people who are real and genuine almost always have these very awkward habits.
8. Not pretending to understand a reference
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When someone makes a joke from social media or references a popular movie, if an authentic person isn’t catching on or understanding, they’re not going to pretend as they do. While it might be more “comfortable” for everyone to laugh along and pretend like they’re in the loop with the conversation, it’s these behaviors that also tend to make people feel excluded and disconnected.
Of course, we all yearn for a sense of belonging. It’s in our human nature. For some, seeking that belonging, especially when they don’t feel like they fit in as their authentic selves, means wearing a mask, pretending to like things, and following trends.
However, authentic people, who aren’t afraid to be disliked or judged by others, are themselves, no matter who’s around. They don’t tailor their self-expression to be more digestible or pretend to understand jokes they don’t get.
9. Acting on their sincerity
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The social scripts that define our interactions in modern society, according to a study from the Journal of the American Philosophical Association, often revolve around performance, cooperation, and agreeableness. While these things aren’t always inherently bad, promoting harmony and peace in conversation, breaking from them to be sincere or to express an uncomfortable feeling can bring up awkwardness.
Yet, people who are real and genuine almost always have these “awkward” habits. They’re not afraid to act on their sincerity, even if it means breaking social scripts and constructs that create a layer of performance between people.
10. Circling back to gratitude
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According to a study from Current Issues in Personality Psychology, gratitude and empathy are often interwoven into authenticity. We’re our most authentic selves when we’re appreciating others and letting our values shape the kinds of people we let in.
People who are real and genuine almost always have these very awkward habits. They’re not afraid to go out of their way in a conversation to thank people for making them feel seen and heard, even if it brings up feelings of self-consciousness and deflection in the person standing across from them.
It’s unfortunate that a fear of embarrassment or rejection now feels like a buffer to personal connection and depth in our society, but it’s authentic people who break that down by feeding their conversations with gratitude and radical empathy.
11. Being vulnerable
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While being vulnerable is sometimes uncomfortable and awkward, especially for people who struggle to regulate emotions and verbalize how they’re feeling inside, psychologist Dave Smallen argues that it’s essential for emotional intimacy and connection.
From expressing and working through concerns to being open about the complex emotions they’re feeling inside, people who are real and genuine almost always have these awkward habits. They’re not afraid to break through the buffer of superficiality and be vulnerable, even when it’s not always easy.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
