People Who Seem Fake Almost Always Use These 11 Phrases When They Talk To You
Vitalii Kuznetsov | Shutterstock When a person seems fake, the signs are often nuanced, but according to a study from the Personality and Individual Differences journal, fakeness revolves around insecurity, narcissism, and a self-serving attitude. People who care more about their own comfort and self-image will do whatever it takes to appeal to the people around them — even if it means being cruel to people they deem less important and sabotaging relationships along the way.
That’s why learning how to spot fake behavior early matters. People who seem fake often reveal themselves through the phrases they use when they talk to you. These phrases may sound polite, supportive, or charming on the surface, but over time, they expose a lack of accountability, empathy, and real emotional investment. Here are the most common phrases people who seem fake almost always use.
People who seem fake almost always use these 11 phrases when they talk to you:
1. ‘I mean this in the nicest way’
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People who seem fake often use this phrase as a shield before saying something hurtful. It lets them avoid accountability while pretending they had good intentions. They only care about their perception or superiority, which may mask their cruelty with passive-aggressiveness, humor, or phrases like “I mean this in the nicest way.”
They try to pretend like they’re not hurting people with disclaimers and justifications, so they don’t have to worry about being held accountable or apologizing. Rather than building strong, meaningful relationships with emotional support and empathy, like the average person, these fake people protect their self-image and gaslight people into doing what they want.
2. ‘That sucks’
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Instead of showing real curiosity or care, people who seem fake default to vague responses. It keeps emotional distance while making them look supportive on the surface.
Many fake people care more about protecting their social narrative and image than actually building meaningful relationships with people. That’s part of the reason why they tend to have a million friends and connections — their charisma breaks open the door, but their lack of engagement and care prevents them from cultivating depth.
People who seem fake almost always say things like “that sucks” instead of “How are you feeling?” or “I can imagine that’s hard for you.” They’re not offering support or help to people on an emotional level unless they’re getting something in return.
3. ‘You’re my best friend’
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Especially if you’ve only just met someone or don’t know them well, hearing phrases like “you’re my best friend” can be a sign of misleading, misguided intimacy. They want to break down your emotional walls and urge you to overshare at your own expense, so they understand your vulnerabilities better, even if it sabotages any chance for a truly genuine relationship to develop.
“You’re my best friend,” or “thank goodness I can rely on you,” are all phrases people who seem fake almost always use to create a misguided bond with the people around them. They don’t want to offer genuine support or do any of the time-consuming work associated with healthy relationships, so instead, they jump right to a false connection.
4. ‘I’ll try to be there’
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On top of being inconsistent with their language and promises, usually because of a tendency to be deceitful, according to a study from the Frontiers in Psychology journal, many fake people also struggle to meet commitments. They may protect their social image by agreeing to show up for people to their faces, but when it comes to actually meeting that commitment, they’re prone to last-minute cancellations and no-shows, often using phrases like "I'll try to be there" to sound considerate, but leaving them an easy way out should they need it down the line.
People who seem fake often agree verbally, then disappear when it’s inconvenient. They care more about protecting their own comfort, and if showing up means confronting inconvenience, they’re more likely to put their own needs before others.
5. ‘That’s just how I am’
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To justify bad behaviors and to protect their sense of victimhood, fake people may make excuses like "that’s just how I am" to avoid uncomfortable accountability and reframe harmful behavior as a personality trait instead of something they’re willing to work on.
These fake people often miss out on chances to actually grow on a personal level, not only because they weaponize self-awareness in misguided ways, but because they’re not willing to accept that discomfort is inevitable in the face of challenge.
Instead of validating other people’s concerns and making a genuine effort to show up better for the people in their lives, they run away from accountability and justify their harmful actions at the expense of everyone’s well-being around them.
6. ‘I didn’t do that’
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Rather than owning mistakes, people who seem fake like to rewrite reality. On top of gaslighting people and changing the narrative to avoid accountability, many fake people — who care deeply about how they’re perceived by others — will use phrases like “I didn’t do that” to protect their self-image. They’re the same people who overuse social media to curate a very specific version of themselves, all intended to seek out validation and attention from others. This keeps their image intact while leaving others confused and doubting themselves.
They change their personality around everyone and often spread lies that benefit the version of themselves in front of specific people, all to be liked and “important” to people they deem as high status or powerful.
7. ‘I’m here for you’
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Usually offered with a disengaged and unenthusiastic tone, fake people who say things like “I’m here for you” to pretend to care about other people’s feelings. Especially if they’re trying to win them over or positively protect their self-image, they may offer empty promises of emotional support and empathy, even if they never follow through on them.
They’re quick to overpromise to people, oftentimes knowing that they’ll never be there for anyone, and inevitably underdeliver in all their relationships. It’s often used to look caring without offering real support.
8. ‘Who do you know?’
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People who seem fake often measure others by status. This question helps them decide whether someone is useful or worth their attention.
Whether it’s at a social gathering, a party, or a work event, fake people are always interested in people who seem powerful, “important,” or high-status. They care about aligning themselves with people who seem cool in any environment, so it’s no surprise that questions like “Who do you know?” or “What’s your title?” are common.
As a study from the Perspectives on Psychological Science journal explains, these fake people, who often display narcissistic tendencies, are always in the pursuit of status, usually to compensate for their deep sense of insecurity and low self-esteem.
9. ‘How could you do that to me?’
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Despite offering little to no commitment, care, and support to the people around them, fake people often expect unrealistic demands from their friends, family, and peers. They intentionally create one-sided relationships that benefit them and their needs, guilt-tripping people into showing up for them with phrases like “How could you do that to me?” and “I need you,” while disengaging when reciprocity is expected. It centers their feelings while ignoring how little they’ve shown up in return.
That’s why fake people and friends can leave such a deep scar on our hearts, according to motivational speaker and author Liane Holliday Willey — they weaponize emotions and guilt so you don’t feel powerful or “important” enough to receive the care you deserve.
10. ‘I need you’
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Many fake people struggle to accept others' boundaries and offer them the respect and grace they expect themselves. The phrase "I need you" often appears when they want something, not when they’re offering anything back. That’s why it’s so important to maintain boundaries and protect your energy around these people.
As psychologist Dr. Sabrina Romanoff explains, without these protections, you’re at risk for falling into their manipulative spiral. Especially if they’re serial fake daters and friends — chances are they know how to weaponize their charisma to get what they want.
But, if you’re intentional about noticing their red flags early, you can assert yourself as a powerful, empowered person who doesn’t offer manipulative people grace.
11. ‘I’m really busy right now’
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Instead of being honest, people who seem fake use being busy as a catch-all excuse. It creates distance while avoiding direct conversations about priorities.
As life coach Laura K. Connell explains, toxic people are known to invalidate people’s emotions, especially if it protects their own comfort and power. Whether it’s an excuse like “I’m really busy right now” or a complete ghosting, fake people are rarely there when you need them most — and that should be a red flag in itself.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
