People Who Make Every Conversation About Themselves Use These 11 Phrases When They Interrupt
HBRH / Shutterstock We all have that one friend who, no matter the situation, finds a way to bring the conversation back to themselves. It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about. They can relate anything you say to something they have experienced.
People who make every conversation about themselves do so because they have a hard time sharing the spotlight. They prefer self-centered conversations. Whether they’re sharing their accomplishments or looking for sympathy, the goal is the same. Whatever they can do to keep the focus on them is all that matters. They may also control the conversation to find validation. This behavior can make conversations difficult, and being their friend can feel overwhelming, as they are always interrupting to make the conversation about themselves.
People who make every conversation about themselves use these 11 phrases when they interrupt
1. ‘Wait’
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We’ve all shared something that happened to us with a friend or family member. It could have been something upsetting and stressful, or an achievement you were proud of. Those moments of connection mean a lot. It helps foster a sense of community and makes us feel close to those in our lives. When sharing something with the people you care about turns into an opportunity for them to steal the spotlight, it’s hurtful.
Sharing something personal and having someone say the phrase ‘wait’ is frustrating. They want you to stop talking about what you are talking about so they can force themselves into the conversation. It could lead to a complete change in subject, or turn your personal anecdote into their own. This phrase is frustrating to hear when you are trying to have a genuine conversation.
2. ‘Remember when I...’
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Let’s say you’re telling a funny story. Something you did that was either embarrassing or a good joke you told. A study found that sharing laughter between companions strengthens bonds. It’s a sign of a good relationship, whether romantic or platonic. Some people chase that feeling of getting a laugh out of others, and may take the chance to interrupt to bring all eyes on them.
‘Remember when I...’ is a phrase they may use when they see you’re getting attention for a funny story you were telling. They want to interject themselves into the conversation to bring attention to themselves. Of course, this phrase can be used in any circumstance. They may use it as a way to take their eyes off of you while you’re telling a story.
3. ‘I’ve been through that’
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It can be scary opening up to others. Sharing your feelings takes vulnerability. Learning to be vulnerable takes time and effort. Letting your guard down to others can be intimidating. When you finally find yourself comfortable opening up to others, only to have them interrupt your moment to say they’ve been through that, it’s hurtful.
Talking about something you’ve been through that was difficult is already difficult. When it is met by someone who has to make every conversation about themselves and deflects to bring the attention back to them, it’s frustrating. It makes you feel invalidated. When someone says this phrase, it is clear they do not care about what you are sharing. Instead, they’re finding a way to bring the conversation back around towards them.
4. ‘That reminds me of when I…’
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You may find yourself wondering why someone needs to disrupt your train of thought to say something like, ‘That reminds me of when I…’ There are many reasons why someone may try to steal the conversation. When they hear you say something they can relate to, they’re happy to wedge themselves in and bring the attention back to themselves. When they say this phrase, they may be overexcited to share a story about themselves. It may not be bad-intentioned, but it is frustrating.
“Some people interrupt because they are so excited about what you are saying that they cannot wait until the end of your statement to contribute their own thoughts and feelings. Their excitement leads to interrupting you, the speaker, mid-sentence,” says Sherri Gordon for VeryWell Mind.
5. ‘That’s nothing’
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There is nothing more invalidating in a conversation than to have someone interrupt you only to try to tell you that what you experienced is not a big deal. Whether you just finished an exciting work project or you’ve taken up a new hobby that is bringing you joy, when someone says, ‘That’s nothing,’ it hurts your feelings. They want to invalidate your hard work to make themselves look better. Deep down, they may have self-esteem issues that they feel better about when they make others feel inferior. It’s an easy way to bring you down while attempting to boost themselves up.
The phrase ‘that’s nothing’ is difficult to deal with. It can leave you second-guessing yourself. When someone interrupts with this phrase, they want more than to take control of the conversation. They also want to bring you down in the process.
6. ‘Yeah, but I…’
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When someone wants to make every conversation about themselves, they have no problem finding a way to put the focus on themselves. Whether they are naturally talkative or are seeking attention, it’s hard to get a word in around them. No matter what you say, they have a personal anecdote they want to throw in. They’ll stop you mid-sentence.
Someone says things like ‘Yeah, but I…’ to bring the conversation back to them. They are essentially conversational narcissists. They want total control of the situation. When you’re sharing something, they will one-up you by saying this phrase. They’re trying to affirm you, but then quickly change the subject to be about them and how they are more successful.
7. ‘Hold on’
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Have you ever been excited to share something with someone else? I vividly remember a moment when I was telling someone a story of something I had done that I was proud of. I wanted to share my success while also including the people around me. I knew this person enjoyed talking about themselves, but I assumed they would allow me a second to speak. Instead, they said ‘hold on,’ and changed the subject. They needed to be in control of the conversation and were done talking about me.
Some interrupters are impatient. They have a hard time focusing on other people. Instead, they’ll jump in to change the subject with phrases like, ‘hold on,’ to get back to what they want to talk about, which is themselves.
8. ‘That happened to me, but worse’
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I remember when I broke my foot. It felt like the end of the world when it happened. Doing daily tasks like taking my dogs out or getting ready for the day felt impossible. I was venting to anyone who would listen. That included a neighbor of mine. Suddenly, they interjected, only to tell me they’ve been through it, but worse. Their break was worse, their healing time was longer, and I should feel lucky to be where I was. Lucky? I felt far from lucky.
Those conversations are frustrating. Not only are they selfish, but they are also invalidating. These people believe that they’ve endured the worst. They may have a superiority complex that makes it difficult to see outside of their own experiences. If they hear you talking about something you’re going through, they’re going to find a way to step in and share how they’ve endured worse.
9. ‘I already know what you’re going to say’
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When someone wants to make every conversation about themselves, they might not try to hide their true intentions. They’ll show that they are bored with what you are saying and would rather be talking about something else. Focused more on what they want to say next than what you are saying, they may interrupt by saying, ‘I already know what you’re going to say.’ They’re trying to stop you in your tracks and prevent a conversation they don’t want to have from happening in the first place.
If someone is too self-focused in conversations, they may notice people around them start to reject them. No one wants to be cut off, told the other person already knows what they are going to say, and have the subject changed completely. It’s frustrating and makes for a one-sided friendship.
10. ‘Back to what I was saying’
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This phrase is one of the most frustrating to hear. You’re sharing something with another person, connecting over a shared experience. You’re trying to be a good friend, letting them speak and following it up with a personal statement they can relate to. It’s a way to show you are actively listening to them. In most conversations, you’d expect the other person to respond to what you’re saying. Instead, they jump in before you can get your thought across with the phrase, ‘back to what I was talking about.’
It’s hurtful to hear something like this. Not only does it show they care more about what they have to say than what you do, but it also makes them look like a bad friend. A person like this will struggle to connect with others. They may completely lack empathy.
11. ‘You think that’s bad’
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Venting is important. We need to release the negative energy we are holding inside. Having a good friend you can share these things with makes a big difference in our lives. However, not all friendships are made equally. If you find yourself talking to someone who interrupts to change the subject to be about themselves, they may say something like, ‘You think that’s bad!’
This statement shows that they lack sympathy for your experience. They believe they have endured worse and want to bring attention to themselves by telling you. Maybe you’re venting about a terrible ex. Well, you think that’s bad? Listen to how their ex was. Much worse than yours. It’s frustrating and lacks a genuine connection.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
