People Who Don’t Constantly Trash-Talk Themselves Usually Share These 4 Rare Traits
Mike Santos | Pexels Speech has the ability to change perception, so it's important to stop negative thoughts, including trash-talking yourself, before they wear you out. Making the conscious choice to eliminate disempowering words from your vocabulary can be transformative.
The language you choose can be limiting. You can change your beliefs by being mindful of how you talk. People often use disempowering words such as can’t, have, need, should, never, always, try, and but.
Why is it beneficial to set the intention of consciously choosing to use empowering vocabulary? Using positive language will shift your energy levels, elevate your power, and help reduce resentment and drama in your life.
It will also enhance your ability to be a creator instead of a victim. You will become more open to options you didn’t see before. Implementing kind, empowering language in how you talk to yourself can enhance the strength and motivation you need to keep moving forward.
People who don’t constantly trash-talk themselves usually share these 4 rare traits:
1. They keep one foot firmly in reality
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When you catch yourself using disempowering words, don’t shame yourself; just remember them next time. Consistently congratulate yourself when you use empowering words.
Research in mindfulness journals found that people who stay aware of the present moment without judgment had way less negative self-talk. When you catch yourself spiraling into harsh thoughts, the trick is noticing it's happening instead of getting swept away by it.
2. They practice self-compassion
Using positive words can become more habitual with practice. Some helpful activities include reciting positive affirmations in the morning or doing mirror exercises daily to reinforce the use of empowering words.
A study found that self-compassion was strongly correlated with positive self-talk, meaning the kinder you are to yourself, the more your internal dialogue shifts. It's basically rewiring your brain to default to kindness instead of automatically jumping to "you're such an idiot" every time something goes wrong.
3. They catch and reframe negative thoughts
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Identify disempowering words you would like to omit from your vocabulary and focus on the empowering words that will help to reframe your perspective, feelings, or understanding of a situation.
Research found that people who learned to identify their negative automatic thoughts and replace them with more realistic ones saw major improvements in their mental health. The whole process of catching yourself thinking "I'm a total failure" and swapping it for something like "I messed up this one thing" actually works to reduce depression and anxiety.
4. They focus on growth over perfection
Use self-talk to clarify how using empowering language allows you to feel healthier and more accepting. Using these strategies habitually will enable you to replace disempowering words with a more helpful and productive dialogue.
Research shows that replacing perfectionism with pursuing ambitious but realistic goals is linked to better mental health. Instead of beating themselves up for not being perfect, they treat mistakes like data points that show them what to work on next.
Any word that creates the illusion that you don’t have a choice disempowers you. Removing negative words from your vocabulary takes time, patience, and practice. It is possible and comes with great rewards.
Consciously implementing empowering words makes any situation more tolerable, broadens and builds possibilities, and opens your mind to be able to speak from a place of choice and control. It helps reframe reality so that any situation can be more tolerable and enjoyable. The option is yours. Challenge yourself to speak with power to bring out the best in yourself and others.
Jennifer Warren Medwin is an experienced certified divorce coach and a Supreme Court of Florida family mediator. She is also the author of Strategies & Tips from a Divorce Coach: A Roadmap to Move Forward.
