Men Who Don’t Feel Respected At Home Usually Start Doing These 11 Things
Men who begin to feel like their family doesn't show them the respect they are due will show it in their behavior.
Pressmaster / Shutterstock For most of us, we are familiar with being in a relationship where respect wasn’t reciprocated. It’s no secret that living with someone who doesn’t seem to appreciate you is difficult. Men who don't feel respected at home will usually do things at home that reflect just how much they've shut down as they struggle to connect with their wives emotionally.
For men, respect means everything in a relationship. “Respect is not a luxury in a relationship—it’s essential. For most men, it’s not just about being treated politely; it’s about being seen as capable, trusted, and emotionally secure. It’s how they feel loved,” writes relationship coach Veronika Amaya. Respect plays a major role in how a man shows up in a relationship. When he feels like his partner isn’t giving him what he needs, he will start acting strangely at home.
Men who don’t feel respected at home usually start doing these 11 things
1. They become emotionally distant
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It’s hard to feel connected to someone who you believe is disrespecting you at home. Why would you want to provide support for someone who isn’t giving you what you need? One way to make their partner realize how badly they are feeling is by cutting them off emotionally. No longer being vulnerable or thoughtful with each other can lead to lasting trouble in a relationship.
Emotional connection means everything to a couple. When a man isn’t feeling respected and he withdraws emotionally, it can be hard to maintain a relationship. Men know that they can show how badly they are hurting by cutting off their emotional intimacy with their partner. Instead of verbalizing his feelings, he’ll find it easier to become emotionally distant.
2. They spend time away from home
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If a man isn’t feeling respected at home, he’ll choose to spend time with people who do value him. He’ll stop coming home from work right after he gets off, or spend more time with friends. He won’t want to be around the partner who is making him feel poorly. Men value your respect above most other things. He wants to focus his time and energy on the people who lift his spirits and give him respect.
“When you disrespect yourself in a relationship and don’t set good boundaries, your self-esteem is impacted big time. If you allow the relationship to continue in an atmosphere that does not feel safe (emotionally, physically, intellectually, or spiritually), feelings of depression, anxiety, anger, and even rage may start to build up inside you needlessly,” says Elisa M. Thomas, MA LMFT with Southport Family Therapy.
3. They stop putting in effort
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Many men believe that having respect from their partner is important. When they feel like they aren’t getting what they need, they do what they can to communicate their pain to them. Instead of having a conversation about it, he may shut down at home. He’ll stop putting effort into the relationship entirely. From ignoring text messages to never following through with plans, men can start cutting off their partners easily.
When he feels like he isn’t getting the respect he deserves, he believes his partner shouldn’t get what they want, either. It’s a response I am sure they don’t want to do, but it comes naturally to them. They don’t want to put work into a relationship that feels disrespectful.
4. They become irritable
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It’s not surprising that when someone feels disrespected in their relationship, they will become irritable. When they’re at home, they struggle to feel close to their partner. Instead of providing patience, they become more on edge. They know they are acting out, but they don’t believe it matters, since they feel so hurt by the things their partner is doing.
“Men struggling with anger issues often display chronic irritability, where they remain in a perpetually agitated state. Even in situations that aren’t inherently anger-inducing, they might exhibit impatience, hostility, or a general sense of unease, making it challenging for them to interact positively with others,” writes Austin Rausch, MS, LPCC, LICDC, for Choosing Therapy.
5. They cut off affection
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Affection is important in a relationship, especially to women. Showing physical affection is a love language for many women. When a man feels his partner isn’t respecting him, he will cut off affection. Not only because he doesn’t want to provide her with it anymore, but also because he knows it’s a way he can communicate his anger towards her. It becomes an unhealthy cycle.
Affection helps couples feel close to one another. The lack of respect towards a man will make him feel distant from his partner. He knows he can show her he is upset by cutting off affection.
6. They seek validation from others
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When you are in a relationship, your partner should be the number one person you seek validation from. For men, however, they can find it hard to feel secure in who they are when they are being disrespected. They will feel like they aren’t getting the proper appreciation or praise they think they deserve. Since they aren’t getting validated by their partner, they will seek outside reassurance. While it isn’t always the case, this can sometimes lead to an affair.
“When you have an unhealthy relationship: not being heard, lack of intimacy, little to no connection, you find yourself looking elsewhere for validation. Looking for someone else to tell you that you are amazing, special, beautiful, instead of looking within. When you don’t feel connected or intimate, instead of doing the work together, you try to soothe that pain or soothe your needs by flirting at work or getting attention somewhere else,” notes Debra Barnes-Hamilton for Women Thrive Magazine.
7. They become critical
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Disrespect can make relationships hard. It’s not easy to allow yourself to feel comfortable with someone who may not be treating you the way you deserve. It’s exhausting to feel like nothing you do is appreciated. As a result, they may become more easily irritable, and that can come out as constant criticism.
If a man feels like he isn’t being respected, he may become more critical over time. He feels like his partner isn’t accepting his hard work, so why should he give her any slack? It’s not the most mature way to work through issues in a relationship, but for men, it can be the easiest route. They will start finding flaws in everything his partner does and start criticizing her as a way to cope with his unhappiness.
8. They become distracted
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When a man doesn’t feel respected at home, he will act differently. He will become easily distracted. He wants to make himself feel better, and the easiest way to do so is by doing something that takes his mind off the situation. Maybe he is leaning more into video games or scrolling on his phone for hours. He will appear distracted, but it’s because he is sick of feeling disrespected.
Distraction says something to his partner. She will try to talk to him, but he will not listen. He’ll blow off what she says because he is too distracted by his own issues with his partner. He won’t stop and take the time to hear his partner out. He will rely on distractions.
9. They keep their feelings to themselves
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Instead of having an open conversation with the person, making him feel disrespected at home, he may shut down. He won’t feel like talking about what is bothering him. He feels like it’s a waste of time, like nothing will ever change. It’s hard for men to talk about their feelings to begin with, so when they are feeling disrespected, it can become impossible for them to accomplish.
They can be afraid to be vulnerable about how disrespect makes them feel. “Vulnerability is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s essential for building deep and meaningful connections with others. On the other hand, it requires you to expose parts of yourself that you might prefer to keep hidden,” says Sara Makin, M.Ed., LPC, NCC, for Makin Wellness. “For many men, the fear of vulnerability outweighs the potential benefits of sharing their feelings. This fear can lead to a reluctance to open up, even to those closest to them.”
10. They consider moving out
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This can be shocking for their significant other. When the disrespect becomes too much for them at home, they will want to pack it up and walk away for good. Can you blame them? Not having the respect and support you feel you deserve can be difficult to come to terms with. Partners need to be there for each other and be respectful, and when there is a lack of these things, one of them may decide to end the partnership.
It’s hard for a man who feels disrespected to feel comfortable talking to his partner about his feelings. It might get to be too much, and he will step away for good. He will reach his breaking point, where he doesn’t feel like he can keep the relationship alive. It’s sad, but he feels like it’s his only choice.
11. They stop feeling valued
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Men need to feel valued in their relationships. For most, their ego depends on appreciation and respect. They need their partner to show they are appreciative of all he does for them. When they fail to show that respect, he will feel like he isn’t valued. He will leave and look for someone who will provide him with the respect he needs at home.
“One of the most common complaints I hear from men is that they don’t feel appreciated. They feel like their efforts — whether it’s working long hours, fixing things around the house, or simply being there for their families — are taken for granted,” says Dr. Peter House, PhD. “Here’s the irony: women often feel the same way. They feel unappreciated for the emotional labor they put into relationships, the countless hours they spend managing households, and the sacrifices they make for their families. It’s a vicious cycle: both partners feel undervalued, and neither feels seen.” He adds, “But here’s the difference: women are more likely to talk about it. They’re more likely to express their feelings, seek support, and demand change. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to suffer in silence.”
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
