The Art Of Being Valued: 7 Simple Habits Of Naturally Valuable People
These traits reveal what makes people genuinely valued by others.
Harry Cooke | Canva Most people want to feel seen and appreciated, but being truly valued goes deeper than simply being liked. Some individuals naturally draw trust and admiration without ever asking for it, and it's not because they're the most socially savvy or impressive on paper. Instead, they consistently practice a few habits that make others feel important — and more critically, safe in their presence.
Valuable people tend to exhibit behaviors rooted in integrity and kindness: they listen without judgment, and never seek credit for doing the right thing. These small choices add up, creating a presence that others cherish. Here are the habits that naturally valuable people live by.
Here are 7 simple habits of naturally valuable people:
1. They are dependable
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If, like therapist Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D., you believe a person's inner being is what defines who they are and why they matter as humans, then you may agree that dependability is one of the most powerful feel-good drugs for human beings. This is true whether we're babies, teenagers, adults, or elders.
Having dependable people in your life is great for mental health, says Dr. Brame. I see lonely people in my practice. They are never as happy as the ones with family connections or chosen families they can lean on. One of the worst problems we have socially is that people, especially elders, are living in isolation. Without dependable sources of companionship or help, it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain a positive outlook on life.
Just one person who truly cares can be enough to keep them going. Relatives, friends, and allies you can call on are all invaluable. From the day we are born until we leave the earth, having people you can trust to help you is the balm of life.
2. They disagree in a way that invites dialogue, not drama
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Someone who can be with differences of opinion without polarizing people and creating more conflict and echo chambers, points out life coach Carolyn Hidalgo. The ones who have what I call an open safe space where disagreement leads to growth, new insights, and healthy debate are needed now more than ever. We want space for diversity, but not with force. We need it with unity, not uniformity. In organizations, it’s now called “psychological safety”. I call it a “judgment-free space”.
Those who can hold a safe and sacred space among our differences, where it's not just about harmony, but authenticity by being real and rising above the noise. Can you leave a hard conversation with more, not less, of an expanded mind, without resentment, bitterness, hatred, or a need for revenge? If we cannot do this with each other, how will we ever create peace in the world?
3. They don't let everything get under their skin
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Life coach Mitzi Bockmann notes one of the most insidious things in relationships is when people take things personally that were not intended to be hurtful. They believe the other person’s actions are tied to whether or not they love them, making mistakes into catastrophes. Often, they feel a need to stay one step ahead to please the other.
Despite behavior that might upset them, a high-value partner knows that the other's actions aren’t necessarily tied to the amount of love they have for you. They will accept authentic apologies and move forward in good faith.
4. They can forgive
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A naturally valuable person can forgive, explains astrologer Aria Gmitter. They are someone who understands that being human is a process and not every person knows what to do and when.
The human mind is complex, and you have to learn and unlearn so many things, but often those lessons come from mistakes. Mistakes are hard to let go of when you hear some of the things a person has done.
Yet, some of the greatest people in the world have been forgivers. In many stories, there's a highly evolved being who is recognized as having an ability to save the world through forgiveness. Two of the four most common last words spoken by individuals on their deathbed are a request for someone to forgive them.
Naturally forgiving people understand inherently that grace is the essence of peace, and peace is what everyone wants and needs.
5. They can self-soothe
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Marriage coach Susan Allan says that in any category of work or life, there are people who are highly skilled. These are the people we depend on, whether it's legal, medical, educational, aesthetic, humor, or creativity in any modality. When someone has taken the time to develop the highest level of skills and tools in their area of expertise, they are irreplaceable.
Self-soothing is the most important skill any of us may possess throughout our lives. Whether you prefer brain-breathing based on yogic breathing or self-empathy based on nonviolent communication, they each create miraculous inner peace when you have learned and practiced either of these when you’re calm. After practicing on easy days, you’ll become more and more skilled, so you can bring yourself back to peace within minutes.
6. They validate others
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Validation is a rare yet deeply valuable habit, explains career and life coach Lisa Petsinis. Some people have an innate tendency to solve problems or find gaps, and others are naturally gifted at comforting and acknowledging feelings. The good news is that validation can be learned and practiced until it becomes a habit.
At its heart, validation is a skill of making others feel seen, heard, and understood without jumping in to fix or judge. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “I see this is really frustrating for you,” or “You put a lot of work into this,” and letting the person sit with it.
This pause is a sign of respect and tells someone they matter and their experiences count. Over time, validation builds confidence and trust, and it also paves the way to self-reflection and personal growth. Having someone with this habit in your life can be game-changing.
7. They can calmly communicate through conflict
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This is a tough one, says therapist Susan Saint-Welch, but a necessary skill to have in place in deciding upon a committed relationship. Life happens to all of us. Whether you can talk through issues effectively and still maintain a feeling connected afterward can deeply affect your relationship. The more comfortable you feel in talking through things, will also determine, in part, the stability of your relationship. Again, it requires respecting one another’s opinions and wanting to find a middle ground that's good for both of you. It's not about who's right or wrong!
To do this, you want to stay away from judging one another and focus more on a solution that both of you can live with. There will be times when one person is happier with the decision than the other. However, this needs to be reciprocated another time down the road. When not in full agreement, focus on the compromise. Successful relationships involve good communication.
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