The Art Of Being An Irreplaceable Person: 7 Simple Habits Of Naturally Irreplaceable People
They don't try to be the best — they focus on being one-of-a-kind.
Troy wade | Unsplash Irreplaceable people are often only noticed by the vacuum they leave behind once they are gone. Those who always add more to the team or relationship do so quietly because they are too busy listening with an enthusiastic energy and observing everyone's interactions.
Irreplaceable people are aware of themselves and others in ways that might get overlooked since their influence is subtle and gentle.. Their authentically forgiving ways lend a consistency to their whole sense of being. They are trusting and trusted and can weld a steel-strong bond with others, while others are usually unaware of how strong they are.
Here are 7 simple habits of naturally irreplaceable people:
1. They truly listen
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Licensed psychotherapist Christina Steinorth-Powell says a stand-out habit of an irreplaceable person is someone who listens to what you are saying. Truly listening to someone has become a dying art. Most people are so distracted by their cellphones or by what they want to say that they're not truly engaged in what is going on "in the moment."
Just think how many times you've had to repeat yourself to people over the last week because they weren't paying full attention to what you were saying. Each person who did this to you is replaceable. Listening is a skill.
If you want to be irreplaceable to your partner, your kids, your friends, and in the workplace, listen to what people are saying without distraction. If you aren't sure you understand what they are trying to tell you, ask for clarification before you give advice or answer. For example, when someone tells you they aren't feeling well, don't jump in with a remedy or your own story about what you did when you weren't feeling well.
Ask them something like:
- Tell me more about that. Are you in pain?
- What doesn't feel well?
- Is there something I can do to help you with this feeling?"
Try really listening to people for the next thirty days and watch how all of your relationships improve.
2. They bring the energy
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An irreplaceable person brings a special, life-enhancing energy into your world, points out therapist Dr. Gloria Brame. The irreplaceable person does so naturally, without fanfare or expectation of recognition.
It could be the elder relative who always notices and compliments your outfit or your cooking, making you feel seen and appreciated. Maybe it's the kids who fill your house with spontaneous joy and laughter when you need it most. Or it's that old friend who has stood by you through thick and thin, showing up for the happy times and the hardships with equal devotion. They're irreplaceable because their presence in your life genuinely improves your quality of life.
They create a sense of safety and comfort that you can't find anywhere else. Once you experience that kind of consistent, genuine positive presence in your life, you realize how rare it is and how lucky you are to have it in your life
3. They are self-aware
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For career consultant Ruth Schimel, Ph.D., self-awareness is a powerful multiplier trait that builds irreplaceable bridges in a relationship. Being self-aware sparks the willingness to learn and grow from insights.
As awareness evolves and is shared, that capacity is a catalyst for effective communication, problem-solving, and the delight that makes a person truly irreplaceable.
4. They carry a quiet ease that makes others feel calm, too
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Personal development coach Jan Bowen explains how irreplaceable people understand that happiness is an inside job. When we're around a friend who demonstrates a deep contentment in the midst of chaos, they exude a sense of calm. And that, in turn, breeds a sense of calm and optimism in us as well.
Truly joyful people aren’t looking outside themselves to fill a void. They’re grateful rather than envious or resentful, and they show empathy toward others, which makes them irreplaceable in a group setting.
5. They take calculated risks
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The safest path is the surest path, suggests life coach Ed Latimore. It’s the one most people go down. This is because most people do not expose themselves to volatile events. They prefer a life with little chance to mess up, but with little chance to excel as well.
Some people feel it's too risky, but taking calculated risks is a defining trait of irreplaceable entrepreneurs. They make calculated moves, but they still don't have a guaranteed positive outcome. They do things that most people shy away from, so they end up with chances that most people never get.
This isn’t doing what’s difficult so much as it’s doing something where there's a chance you can lose big. A basic example is someone who starts a business. It’s safer and easier to get a job, but there is also less reward — with less freedom, as well.
6. They don't take things too personally
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Life coach Mitzi Bockmann notes one of the most insidious things in relationships is when people take things personally that were not intended to be hurtful. They believe the other person’s actions are tied to whether or not they love them, making mistakes into catastrophes. Often, they feel a need to stay one step ahead to please the other.
Despite behavior that might upset them, an irreplaceable person knows the other's actions aren’t necessarily tied to the amount of love they have for you. They will accept authentic apologies and move forward in good faith.
7. They build trust through consistency
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Irreplaceable people build trust through consistency, as marriage and family therapist Susan Saint-Welch describes. They consistently tell the same story when offering explanations or talking to a variety of people about life events. Their stories don't change, and their explanations don’t change depending on the conversation or the audience.
Watch for consistency over time. If they have made a mistake and are trying to explain what happened, their information needs to remain consistent if you are to be expected to believe them. In a relationship, you want to be able to rely on your person. When the information you're given is consistent over time, it helps you to believe that they are being truthful.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
