People Who Suddenly Cut Everyone Off As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
To protect their peace, some people feel they need to cut down on their social ties.
fizkes / Shutterstock As we get older, our priorities change. We stop being as concerned as we once were about our friends and what they’re doing. We shift our focus inward. Typically, having families of our own can change the dynamic within friend groups. Of course, there is something to be said about lifelong friendships. They are special. We also have to consider why people may choose to separate themselves from those around them as they get older. Most of the time, people who suddenly cut everyone off as they get older have some important reasons.
From health challenges to new additions to the family, life changes can make cutting people off easier as we get older. While there may be issues with fully isolating yourself from the world around you, most people who choose this route usually do so because of reasons that are important to them.
People who suddenly cut everyone off as they get older usually have these 11 reasons
1. Their priorities have changed
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As people age, their lives start to look different. Whether they recently got married, had a child, or are dealing with family issues, priorities begin to shift. Suddenly, the needs of their friends become less of a priority. They struggle to manage their time and need to cut corners wherever possible.
Sometimes, people’s priorities change, causing them to reevaluate their friendships. Friends who were once special to them no longer fit into their daily lives. They re-evaluate their social circle. They no longer want to invest time in something that doesn’t give their life more profound meaning. They only want to put effort into things and people that matter most.
2. Limited energy
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I don’t know about you, but as I’ve become older, it feels like it takes so much energy to do just about anything. I used to be able to go, go, go, but now, I need time between social events to recharge. People who suddenly cut everyone off as they get older may not have the space for relationships. They are tired and want to focus on restoring their energy rather than forcing themselves to please others.
Sometimes, specific people drain your energy.
“Not all friendships last forever and that is OK. If you have come to a point in this friendship where you feel like you are being taken advantage of, and you are putting in more than you're getting out, it may be time to distance yourself from that friend,” says Sherri Gordon, CLC. “That said, if someone drains you emotionally to the point that your life is unbearable, you need to recognize the possibility that the person is not a good fit for your life right now. If that is the case, it's important that you distance yourself from this friend.”
3. Family comes first
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As we age, so do the members of our families. As parents get older, responsibilities change. If an aging parent becomes ill or is struggling to live alone, people will likely step up to care for them. Now, they won’t have time to maintain other personal relationships. This is a valid reason why they could cut everyone off.
On the other hand, as their family grows, so does the time they need to devote to their home lives. Getting married, having children, or adopting a new pet can change the way people approach relationships. They may feel they don’t have time for their friends when they reach this stage of life. Sometimes they even cut off their relatives if they need to.
4. Health issues
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Health issues play a role in the way people show up for others around them. When they’re battling an illness, it can be easier for them to cut off those around them. They may also become embarrassed by their struggle. They may isolate themselves from others to prevent them from seeing them so sick.
“When my disease progressed enough that I realized my future would never be what I’d hoped, I began to notice a lot of friends (and even family) living the life that I always wanted. It sounds terrible to say that I was so envious of others that I ended my relationship with them, but it was a way of protecting myself,” says Devin Garlit, who was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. “Constantly seeing others, particularly those close to you, live the life you imagined for yourself doesn’t make the process of mourning that lost life any easier. In fact, it makes it pretty difficult to pick yourself up and move on.”
5. Loss of friends
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Maybe they have had friends pass away, or they have been greatly hurt by people in their lives. Whatever the reason, the loss of friends can make people cut off others as they get older. When someone passes away, they may choose to cut themselves off from others to save them the pain. Loss is painful, and they believe that distancing themselves from others will save them the trouble down the line.
If they’ve been taken advantage of by people in their inner circle, which could include their own families, they’ll learn they can’t count on everyone to be honest with them. Instead, they will choose to isolate themselves.
6. Self-isolation
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As we age, we may become more reclusive. Whether spending time with others is too draining or they are mourning the loss of others in their lives, cutting off people can be a common response.
They may find more comfort in being alone than they do with others. They can choose to isolate themselves for their own needs.
7. Emotional burnout
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So many things change over time. Our emotions go through the ringer through those years. It’s difficult to find the patience and time for others when we feel so emotionally burnt out. People can become too emotionally dependent on others. If someone is constantly sucking the life out of you, the emotional burnout can make you choose to detach from them fully.
Maybe the problem isn’t the person themselves. Whether it’s a difficult career, marriage, or home life, burnout is real. It’s hard to find energy for others when you don’t have the capacity to care for yourself. It’s common for people to choose to suddenly cut everyone off as they get older for this reason.
8. Desire to keep the peace
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Sometimes, people want more from you than you are willing to give. Constant drama and arguments can make life unnecessarily stressful. As we age, we develop less tolerance for things that disrupt our peace. To keep from being swallowed by problems that don’t concern them, people will remove the issue, cutting it off from the source.
“At the end of the day, only you can decide if you should cut toxic people out of your life. It gets back to what’s important to you. If drama, stress, or judgment isn’t something you want in your life then you have the right to choose to cut it out. A strong support network is crucial to your personal success,” says life coach Cynthia Garcia. “If the people in your life do not lift you higher or support your dreams, find new people. You can cut people out of your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
9. Constant disappointment
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Let’s face it, people let us down. Sometimes, even our own family can prevent us from fully succeeding. Constant disappointment can make you feel like having these people in your life is only bringing you down. As we get older, our patience for those who bring us down gets shorter and shorter. Eventually, we will have to cut them off.
It can be especially painful when that disappointment comes from someone we choose to spend our lives with. If a spouse always lets us down, we have to make the difficult decision to cut them off. It doesn’t matter whether the person is a partner, a family member, or a close friend; when they only cause disappointment, it’s time to let them go.
10. Feelings of betrayal
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Going along with constant disappointment comes the pain of betrayal. When someone betrays you, it’s hard to move past the pain. As we age, it becomes easier to cut people off suddenly if they hurt us.
“Betrayal can leave deep emotional scars, shaking the foundation of trust that relationships are built on. Whether it’s a partner’s infidelity, a friend’s disloyalty, or a family member’s deception, these experiences can lead to feelings of hurt and resentment. Such breaches of trust often force individuals to reevaluate their relationships altogether, deciding whether it’s worth mending or moving on,” says a therapist with Maplewood Counseling. “Trust is not easily rebuilt once broken. Some people may attempt to forgive and repair the relationship, which can require immense effort and commitment from both parties. However, not everyone is willing or able to forgive, leading them to cut ties to protect themselves from future pain. Ultimately, prioritizing one’s emotional safety is not only understandable but necessary for healing.”
They continued, “Additionally, the complexity of betrayal can vary based on the closeness of the relationship. The deeper the emotional investment, the more profound the impact. Recognizing when trust cannot be restored is crucial in deciding whether to move forward alone or together.”
11. They've been overworked
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When you are overworked, your patience is thin. It’s hard to find time to put effort into those around you. If someone has dedicated most of their life to climbing the career ladder, they might choose to put their personal relationships on the back burner. It’s hard to balance time for others when the job comes first.
Priorities shift as we get older. If spending time with friends and family becomes less important because of someone's career, they may suddenly choose to cut people off. For some, their career is everything. They dedicate their whole lives to it. As a result, they may feel like they don’t need the company of others. They could view relationships as preventing them from working towards their goals.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
