If A Wife Secretly Regrets Her Marriage, She'll Start Doing These 11 Small Things Without Saying A Word
Her husband likely has no idea what's happening.
Just Life | Shutterstock Despite what the Disney movies want us to believe, marriage is the furthest thing from easy. It's not magic that makes a relationship work; rather, it's lots of hard work and patience. But over time, one partner may feel like they made the wrong choice marrying their spouse, and their behavior points to this problem. For women, specifically, if a wife secretly regrets her marriage, she'll start doing small things without saying a word.
Perhaps it's not providing emotional support or spending more time out of the home. No matter what it is, it's clear she's starting to feel like her marriage was a mistake. Because whether she feels neglected, unheard, or disrespected, the truth is that she's fed up living a lie.
If a wife secretly regrets her marriage, she'll start doing these 11 small things without saying a word
1. Emotionally withdrawing
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A happy wife will do whatever she can to keep her marriage strong. Many women go above and beyond to keep their marriage thriving, but when they begin emotionally withdrawing, it spells trouble. Regardless of the excuse, unless she wants her marriage to end in divorce, there's only so much distance a relationship can take.
As psychology expert Ellie Lisitsa explained, “When you are making every effort to address a problem, whether you are attempting to talk about something that is upsetting you, explain your feelings about an ongoing area of conflict, or try to reach a resolution — and your partner is pretending that you aren't there — you are likely to reach a level of frustration or anger so high that you psychologically and emotionally 'check out' as well."
Unfortunately, when one partner stonewalls the other, it can create a toxic dynamic and eventually end the relationship.
2. Avoiding physical affection
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If a wife secretly regrets her marriage, she'll start avoiding physical affection without saying a word. That may mean refraining from hugging or kissing her spouse, or even snuggling on the couch like they used to. Maybe she refuses to sleep in the same room as her husband.
Whatever it is, it's a sign she's given up. She might not say it outright, but through her behavior, she's showing that she's tired of the same old problems. It's much better for her to communicate this, but if she's been through a lot, this may be her last resort.
3. Prioritizing alone time
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Couples aren't always social or want to go out on the town. Sometimes, they may want some time away from each other, whether it's a night out with friends or an overnight with family. But when a wife is putting her alone time before her marriage, it's not a good sign.
Most married couples understand the importance of being in each other's presence. As researcher Rob Pascale and psychologist Lou Primavera explained, "Partners who do things together become more closely connected and come to enjoy each other's company. That's because shared experiences give them something in common; that helps make them feel good about each other."
When a wife spends time alone, she isn't trying to be cruel, but she no longer feels sparks and isn't happy. She might retreat to her room and avoid her husband, hoping that a little alone time will make things better. But unless she gets to the root cause, alone time isn't going to fix anything.
4. Being overly critical
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At the start of a marriage, things feel like a dream. Because everything is so new, couples cater to each other. But over time, if a wife becomes critical, she's stopped caring how her actions impact her husband.
In her eyes, she's been patient enough. From second chances to letting mistakes slide, her feelings are valid, but the way she goes about it is a bit toxic. It might not be her intention to hurt her husband's self-esteem, but she's certainly causing more tension in the marriage.
5. No longer talking about the future
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When a woman is in love, her husband might notice how often she talks about their future. Feeling eager and hopeful for the next chapter that awaits them, she's already planning. But if she's stopped doing this altogether, it's likely she secretly regrets her marriage.
The future is a scary topic for a lot of couples, as there's something intimidating about not knowing what happens next. Many men might feel relieved when the talk of children or a big move is put on the back burner because, in their eyes, it's a sign their wife is living in the moment, not focusing so intently on an unpredictable future.
But what he doesn't know is that not talking about the future isn't good. According to psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, "One thing that successful relationships all have in common is that the couples in them make plans for the future, both near and long-term. Making plans builds a bond and a stronger sense of security in our hearts."
6. Lacking interest in resolving conflict
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Wives who love their husbands are willing to move mountains if it means making their marriage work. However, if a wife secretly regrets her marriage, she will stop trying to resolve conflicts with her husband.
As much as she'd love to cling to hope, being with someone who refuses to change or listen isn't easy. This is why many married women lose interest in conflict that seemingly has no end in sight in their eyes.
7. Spending more time away from her husband
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If a wife secretly regrets her marriage, she'll start spending more time away from her husband without saying a word. She's attempting to create as much distance as possible with her spouse, and will go out of her way to avoid being around him.
Maybe that means staying late at work or staying with friends under the guise of needing a break. While her frustrations are understandable, not spending quality time together is damaging in the long run. According to couples therapist Kyle Benson, it only takes a mere six hours a week together to improve a relationship, but an unhappy wife won't accept it.
8. Changing her body language
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When a wife is in love, her body language is open. With ease, she sits facing her partner or laughs at everything he does. But once she's come to regret her marriage, that body language becomes more closed off. And from the remarks she makes to how she turns away from him, her husband will know she's had enough.
Body language can be subjective, but if a man notices she's becoming cold and closed off, but she doesn't want to have a conversation about it, it indicates a disconnect in the marriage.
9. Not being supportive
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If a wife secretly regrets her marriage, she'll start being unsupportive without saying a word. While healthy marriages include partners who emotionally support one another, partners who stop doing this aren't very happy in their relationship.
No matter what her husband does, she'll hold onto the past, not allowing herself to move forward in a positive direction. She may stay emotionally distant when he's having trouble at work or with family, and not lift him up.
Unfortunately for him, a support system is essential to well-being. As counseling psychologist Kisha Braithwaite and chiropractic doctor M.B. Gooden revealed, "Individuals with robust social support networks have better health, longer lives, and higher well-being."
10. Avoiding the 'little things'
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Once a woman is in love, there's nothing she won't do for her partner. She'll move the entire planet if it means being with her husband. But when she secretly regrets her marriage, she won't be focusing on the little things anymore.
Whether it's making his favorite meal or going out of her way to do his laundry, when those things fully stop, it indicates a lot of tension in the marriage. Unsurprisingly, this will cause further problems and even lead to divorce.
11. No longer being jealous or protective
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A little bit of jealousy is normal in a relationship. As psychotherapist Moshe Ratson said, "Jealousy, though challenging, is a natural emotion signaling areas for personal and relational growth."
Even if both partners are secure within their marriage, it doesn't stop the jealousy from creeping in every once in a while. From co-workers to friends, it's normal for a wife to feel overprotective, even if she doesn't act on it. But if she's showing zero signs of jealousy after years of doing so, she might be checked out of the relationship completely.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
