7 Signs A Relationship Probably Won't Last, Even If You're Deeply In Love Right Now
These red flags can signal that a relationship may not stand the test of time, even though it's great now.
Heber Vazquez | Pexels When you're deeply in love, there's no denying you want it to last. But there are definite early clues to how successful your bond will be. Many of the signs of a relationship that probably won't last show themselves almost immediately — you just have to pay attention.
Sometimes even the most passionate relationships carry subtle warning signs that point to a shaky future. From recurring fights to mismatched qualities and priorities, these red flags can slowly undermine your connection, no matter how deeply you care about each other.
Here are 7 signs a relationship probably won't last, even if you're deeply in love right now:
1. You're smarter than your partner
We know that a study on interpersonal attraction showed men are intimidated when they get close to intelligent women. And intelligent women would never waste their time with a guy who isn't intellectually stimulating.
2. You're with an immature partner
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No one completely grows up, but a passionate interest in something truly juvenile will wear on you eventually, if not immediately. Immaturity in a partner shows itself in many aspects of your relationship and will certainly cause its demise.
3. You disagree about having kids
If you can't agree on whether to have kids, that's a major dealbreaker.
Couples counselor Mary Kay Cocharo advised, "Deciding that you want to have kids is a bigger deal than many people realize. There will be a shift in your relationship when it happens, so it’s best to be as prepared as possible. The best time to discuss having children with a partner is early on in the relationship, when you are both comfortable and already talking about your plans and family dynamics. This allows you to identify whether your partner aligns with your desires for parenthood and avoid potential dealbreakers later."
4. You use the bathroom in each other's presence
Separate bathrooms, or at least separate bathroom schedules, are key to many successful relationships. "The one thing in their relationships that all of my divorced friends have in common," explains one of our writers, "Is that they regularly had their morning pee in the bathroom while their significant other was brushing their teeth. Don't do it. Maintain a little mystery."
5. You lie to your friends about your relationship
"I always know a relationship is doomed when I start telling my friends only part of the story about a squabble with my man," says Kelly. "I need the release of the confession, but by not telling the whole truth, I'm leaving out the part that would make my friends scream, 'He's not right for you!'"
Chances are, you've probably already judged his actions yourself and are scared of your friends telling you what you already know you deserve better. Psychotherapist Nancy Carbone explained, "When you can’t accept the truth, you tell yourself dangerous lies to excuse staying in a relationship that's bad for you. When the truth hurts, you don’t always want to accept it. Sometimes, it’s easier to sweep things under the carpet than to clean up the mess."
6. You express interest in bringing other people into the relationship
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No matter what he says, being intimate with you and another person is really just an excuse for him to be with someone new. Period.
"Let me tell you what happened to my boyfriend and me," warns Jessie. "It was clear he was much more interested in what she had to offer. After we broke up, they started dating. They did break up, however, so apparently this was the kiss of death for the couple and the guest star."
7. You prioritize your parents over your partner
If either one of you respects the opinion of a parent more than the opinion of your significant other, research from 2021 shows that a lack of respect is a sign you're headed for trouble.
"When my boyfriend would call up his mother and ask her for her advice on work, money matters, and, seriously, even what to wear to Easter brunch, I realized he was never going to value my opinion as much or more than hers," says Lisa.
Amelia McDonell-Parry is a writer, reporter, and editor with over 16 years of experience in digital, print, and broadcast media. She covers crime and criminal justice reform, pop culture and television, and relationships.
