Women Who Secretly Feel Smarter Than Their Husbands Usually Say These 11 'Polite' Phrases
While there is no IQ difference between women and men, women often feel they have the upper hand.
LightField Studios / Shutterstock Science has found that there is no notable difference between the IQs of men and women. This means that both genders have the same intellectual ability. For many, however, in relationships, they can leave them feeling like they are smarter than their partner. More often than not, it’s the man who feels more intelligent than his counterpart.
A study published by the National Library of Medicine discovered that, though there is no biological distinction, men often find themselves more intelligent than women. When asked to provide self-estimates of their general IQ ratings, men were quick to give themselves more than women were. This could be from the outdated social idea that men are smarter than women. It’s not surprising that when a woman finds herself more intelligent than her husband, she keeps it a secret. She may not say outright how she feels, but there will be subtle clues.
Women who secretly feel smarter than their husbands usually say these 11 'polite' phrases
1.‘Don’t you mean…?’
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This can be a bit deceiving. While this phrase can come off as ‘polite,’ possibly trying to help their partner remember something, women who think they’re secretly smarter than their husbands could be condescending.
‘Don’t you mean…’ could be a way to correct them without trying to come off as rude, but there is certainly a jab layered in there. They’re stating that they think he is wrong without outwardly saying it.
2. ‘What were you thinking?’
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This phrase packs a punch. Though it could be used kindly, like, “What were you thinking about?” a wife who thinks she is smarter than her husband says it with a different tone.
‘What were you thinking?’ is a way to question her husband's actions. She can’t believe that he would do something she finds to be so unintelligent.
3. ‘Let me explain’
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When a wife thinks she is smarter than her husband, she will think she needs to explain everything to him. It may come off as her trying to be helpful, but unfortunately, it could have a deeper meaning.
Studies show that men and women have different ways of communicating while in a relationship. However, when she constantly thinks she has to explain everything to her partner, she assumes she is smarter than him.
4. ‘I think you actually think…’
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It’s not surprising that a wife who thinks she is smarter than her husband will question his opinions and try to convince him to change his mind.
They may be trying to mold their partner into the person they want them to be. Women often find themselves in relationships with men they wish they could change. When you add in that they feel more intelligent than them, these comments can be especially condescending.
5. ‘I told you so’
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When smart women feel vindicated, the urge to say ‘I told you so’ is high. It may come across as polite, stating that they wished they had listened to their advice. However, this phrase is notoriously used when someone thinks they are smarter than the other person.
According to the CBC, saying ‘I told you so’ is one of the least helpful comments you can make. “If you're thinking about saying ‘I told you so,’ the best scenario is really simple. Don't. It is passive-aggressive, and it makes you look like a jerk,” the publication wrote. “To the person hearing it, put yourself in their shoes. Don't you think they've already told themselves, ‘I told me so!’”
6. ‘Help me understand’
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Sure, saying ‘help me understand’ may come across as trying to find common ground with someone. When a wife thinks she is smarter than her husband, she is not truly trying to understand.
By saying she wants help in understanding, she may be hinting that the behavior or question was so stupid she can’t comprehend it. She is likely judging his actions harshly.
7. ‘Can you explain your reasoning?’
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This phrase goes hand-in-hand with asking their husband to help them understand. When a wife feels she is smarter than her husband, she will not be able to comprehend the reasoning behind his thoughts.
The answer could entail her husband's ‘mansplaining’ something to her, which will only further confirm her assumption that she is smarter than him.
8. ‘Are you sure?’
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Have you ever been in a relationship where you feel like you have to constantly double-check with your partner about things? Maybe because they are forgetful? I’ve constantly found myself asking, ‘Are you sure?’ in relationships. However, when a wife thinks she’s smarter than her husband, she can use this phrase with a different tone.
‘Are you sure?’ can signal that she doesn’t trust his judgement. She may be asking this question because she doesn’t understand his behavior.
9. ‘I don’t think so’
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This phrase is one we hear nearly every day. It simply means someone is unsure. When a wife assumes she is smarter than her husband, secretly, she’ll use this to belittle what he says.
If he’s telling a story or stating a fact, she can quickly shut down what she finds unintelligent by saying she doesn’t think he’s right.
10. ‘Don’t you remember…?’
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One thing a wife who thinks she is smarter than her husband can’t stand is forgetting things. If he doesn’t absorb everything that she says, it will irritate her.
Studies show that women typically have a better memory than men. Those who feel superior to their male partner will often find themselves at odds with their lack of memory.
11. ‘I guess so’
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Hearing ‘I guess so’ can appear like someone is nonchalantly agreeing with another. When it comes to a woman who thinks she’s smarter than her spouse, she is being passive-aggressive.
Passive-aggressive behaviors are belittling. When a wife says this, she is purposely putting down the husband she thinks she is smarter than.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
