If These 19 Signs Show Up, Your Broken Relationship Is Definitely Worth Saving
Even when things feel broken, some relationships still carry the spark that makes them worth fighting for.
Mixmike | Canva Though your relationship is broken, you don't want it to end and can't think of anything else. Being single again is daunting, and being vindictive feels silly, because they are your comfort person.
There's tension, but things never get out of hand. Respect and attraction have not disappeared, and thoughts of your special someone bring a little joy, even if being face-to-face means there is work to be done. When you don't fear the work ahead, you are ready to repair the relationship.
If these 19 signs show up, your broken relationship is definitely worth saving:
1. You don't want anyone else
When your practical side starts reminding you that there are plenty of other fish in the proverbial sea, you instinctively tell it to be quiet.
You don’t want to think about all the other great candidates out there. You don’t want to be reassured of your desirability, either. You’d rather things in your relationship just go back to the way they were.
2. The thought of them with someone else makes you sick
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When you picture your significant other hooking up with someone else, it makes your stomach turn and the hair on your arms stand tall, but not out of jealousy or possessiveness.
It sickens you to know you’ve lost something so precious, the safe, loving intimacy that once defined your relationship. You desperately want that back, even if you’re not quite ready to do what it takes to resurrect it.
3. Being single doesn’t sound appealing
Even if it means you get to hook up with the guy you’ve been crushing on at work forever. Or that you can finally go bonkers on Tinder. Often, the issue is based on loneliness.
Loneliness within a relationship impacts satisfaction. According to a 2021 study, "Women were most satisfied with their relationships when both partners scored low on loneliness, whereas men were most satisfied when their own loneliness was low, irrespective of their partners’ loneliness. Low levels of loneliness between women and men, as well as declines in loneliness of at least one partner, were additionally associated with increases in relationship satisfaction."
4. Getting revenge seems foolish
You entertain plenty of doubts and vengeful thoughts, but once you think your hypothetical plot all the way through, you quickly realize how dumb it would be to drain the bank account, cheat, or ransack the apartment out of anger.
Exacting revenge on someone you care about won’t feel good. Life coach Ed Latimore explained that, "part of living in the universe is that bad stuff happens. Some of that bad stuff will happen to you. The hardest part is to realize that this isn’t personal. Once you can accept that, then you see that some people have issues, and you happen to be in the path of them expressing those issues."
5. You can’t imagine living with anyone except your person
After all, your wardrobe wouldn’t look quite right hanging next to anyone else’s, a ridiculous thought, maybe, but whatever.
6. You can’t imagine traveling with anyone but them, either
Your bras and underthings can’t be packed in a suitcase with anyone else’s, another ridiculous thought, maybe, but you’re OK with that.
7. You'd rather be bored with them than excited with anyone else
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Lately, hanging out always seems to end in fighting, but there’s no one else you’d rather waste time with.
You want to binge-watch Netflix with your partner, even if things are too contentious to risk deconstructing television plots.
8. You never take your fights too far
No matter how nasty the arguments get, you still hold back the hurtful stuff. Something always stops you from going to extremes from which there’s no turning back.
Relationship coach Judy Tiesel-Jensen suggested taking time-outs to "help you shift from one energy state to another. Lots of methods can help you make a shift: music, hot bath/cold shower, meditation, organizing a drawer, running around the block, crossword puzzles, or anything that helps you move from tight anger to a curious position."
9. You still like the way your partner smells in the morning
And not just because their scent is wonderfully familiar.
10. You respect your partner as a human
Even if you can't stand them right now.
11. You’re still physically attracted to them
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You just might not want to be intimate with them right now.
12. Even now, your partner manages to make you laugh
Reminding you that your inside jokes are awesomely resilient.
13. You're still proud of them
When you watch your significant other interact with strangers or acquaintances, you can’t help but feel a sense of pride for being associated with them.
There’s pride in being on the team, and you know it on some level. A study in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships helped explain how pride in a relationship is a combination of expectations being met, appreciation, and overall satisfaction.
14. You still feel happy when your partner gets good news
Your vicarious pleasure could be a sign of undying affection.
15. You know exactly how they are feeling at any given time
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No bad stretch seems to blunt your ability to intuit your significant other’s moods.
16. You're not out there flirting with other people
You never turn your “I’m available” light on all the way up when things get shaky.
17. It doesn’t make you feel that good when strangers flirt with you, anyway
If anything, being flirted with reminds you how hard it is to find someone worth holding onto.
18. You know how much work it will take to get back to 'the good place', but the work doesn’t scare you
You’re willing to do whatever it takes, even if you’re not quite ready to start yet.
19. You never forget 'the good place' you came from
Relationship therapist Lianne Avila explained, "One thing I hear a lot from the couples I see is, 'I wish it could be like it was when we first met.' To many couples, this may sound difficult, but it isn't. You can rekindle the spark and bring fun back into the relationship. It's necessary to keep the spark alive after marriage."
When you think about your first few months as a couple, the blissful, early relationship feelings rise from somewhere deep within to tickle your heart, reminding you they’re still there, waiting to awaken.
Mélanie Berliet is a New York City-based writer and producer. Her work has appeared in Vanity Fair, New York Magazine, The Atlantic, Elle, and Cosmopolitan, among many other publications.
