6 Things Deeply Confident People Have Totally Removed From Their Lives
Truly confident people don't just add good habits — they cut out stuff, too.
Andrey Zvyagint | Unsplash Research has found that confident people avoid unnecessary justifications, fear feedback, and constantly seek external validation. Instead, they focus on proactive behavior, manage conflict effectively, and don't let a lack of resources stop them from achieving their goals.
Many of us want to feel more self-confident. But I learned that rather than using clever methods and tactics, much of our confidence is about what we remove from our lives.
Here are six things deeply confident people have totally removed from their lives:
1. Overthinking every little detail
Polina Tankilevitch / Pexels
Regardless of the content of your thoughts, when you allow the balance to be tipped too far from presence toward thinking, your confidence dissolves. Heavy thinking disconnects you from your default connection to creative flow.
When this happens, you’re living in a thought-cloud and no longer in true reality. Learn to detach from overthinking and be more present.
2. Letting past experiences inform their choices
MART PRODUCTION / Pexels
Your past is your past. It’s done. It has nothing to do with the right now, even if the illusion is there that it does.
Your failures do not define you. I’m not just saying this — I’m shaking you by the shoulders and telling you: mistakes have nothing to do with you.
All that happened was you stuck your toe in and it was cold. Your past ‘personality’ has nothing to do with the personality you are forging right now. You can be whoever you want to and need to be. Relax and open. Live for today, not for freaking yesterday.
While past behavior can be a useful indicator, it's most effective for predicting high-frequency, habitual behaviors over short periods and in similar contexts. Research has concluded that predicting future behavior based solely on past instances without considering change and growth can be misleading.
3. Prioritizing safety at the expense of progress
MART PRODUCTION / Pexels
Your need for safety is there for a good reason, but it can become an excuse to avoid taking risks. A life without risk is one without growth. And when you don’t sense your growth, you will more easily unearth doubtful thoughts.
You must identify ways in which some danger leads to continual growth for you. What adventures do you need to take? What projects must you start and share? What vulnerabilities must you invite?
4. Seeking validation
Yan Krukau / Pexels
Mom and Dad did a great job of making you believe this lie growing up. You behaved, and they gave you a sweetie.
But, your worth is there by your merely existing. It’s not conditional on what others do or don’t do. Let go, and have faith that you are already whole and have everything you need.
When self-worth is reliant on the opinions and achievements valued by others, it can lead to instability, anxiety, and a constant need for external validation. On the other hand, research has found that developing a strong sense of self-worth based on one's inherent value and personal beliefs fosters resilience, confidence, and healthier relationships.
5. Buying into the idea that they're not enough
Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels
Natural confidence has everything to do with what thoughts we choose to listen to. Every one of us has doubtful thoughts that appear many times throughout the day. The difference between someone who feels more confident most of the time compared to others is how they relate to these doubtful thoughts.
You validate a negative thought by inviting it in for further analysis. This smothers you. The alternative is to let that sucker float away and you getting back to creating cool stuff with your life. Over time, your mind will learn to do this more effortlessly.
6. Scrolling endlessly
Pixel-shot / Shutterstock
We live in a world saturated with garbage that drains our energy. Sugar, explicit content, endless doom-scrolling, energy drinks, refined starches, nicotine, and caffeine.
All these things, when overdone, throw our bodies into chemical chaos. Research emphasizes that moving away from overconsumption benefits the environment and is crucial for individual well-being. This involves understanding the drivers that lead to excessive consumption and practicing mindful consumption habits that prioritize satisfaction, values, and experiences over material possessions.
Imbalanced bodies will accentuate any insecurities we might harbor psychologically. Consume less of the crap stuff, enjoying a calmer state, and watch your confidence rise.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
