11 Things Good People Quietly Notice About How Someone Treats A Service Worker

Service workers are some of the hardest-working employees out there. Part of what makes their job so intense is the fact that they have to deal directly with customers almost all of the time. Some people are extremely nice, while others leave a little to be desired with their interactions. Frankly, not everyone sees service workers as actual human beings who deserve to be treated with respect.

The Institute of Customer Service found that over 50% of service workers experienced "increased hostility” in recent years. Not everyone acts this way, of course. There are plenty of good people out there who believe service workers should be treated with dignity and do so themselves. These people are bound to pay attention to how others treat service workers and take note if they find their behavior lacking.

Here are 11 things good people quietly notice about how someone treats a service worker

1. Complaining for no real reason

woman complaining for no real reason Pheelings media | Shutterstock

Let’s be honest. There may be times when complaining is warranted. While it’s important to treat service workers well, it’s only fair to expect that treatment is returned. If someone is intentionally rude or problematic, then the customer has a right to make a respectful complaint to a supervisor. But just complaining to the worker for no reason at all? That’s not the thing to do.

If a worker is just doing their job and a customer has taken it upon themselves to complain when nothing is wrong, that says far more about the customer than the worker. Good people may not point this out, but they will definitely notice it. It can affect their opinion of that customer.

This is tricky because sometimes people do it without realizing it. Psychologist and behavior analyst Reena B. Patel explained that when things go off their expected course, this can cause anxiety. This means something as simple as a long line could set someone off and make them think the whole day is ruined. Because of this, we must all be careful not to let minor inconveniences upset us too much.

2. Treating them inferior to people with ‘better’ jobs

couple treating a server with inferiority fizkes | Shutterstock

There’s really no such thing as a “better” job, but some certainly seem to hold more sway. For example, it’s natural to think a financial executive is higher on the corporate ladder than a janitor. The important thing is to treat everyone equally. There should be no difference between a company’s owner and its newest intern. Everyone deserves respect regardless of how much they might be able to help a customer.

Paul Meshanko of Legacy Business Cultures pointed out that not treating someone with respect does nothing but reflect badly on the disrespectful person. Of course, someone who is treated with disrespect isn’t going to treat the other person with respect in return. But, even worse, other people will see that incident and form their opinion of that disrespectful person based on it. Basically, good people will know that person can’t be trusted to act with civility.

“Treat others the way you want to be treated” is considered the golden rule for a reason. If a customer treats a server with disrespect and then turns around and treats their boss with dignity, how can they be trusted? You’ll never know which side of the person is real, which presents a serious problem.

3. Tipping (or not)

couple who chose to tip their server Dejan Dundjerski | Shutterstock

How much or how little a customer chooses to tip a service worker is very telling. Obviously, not every kind of service worker can be tipped, but those who can deserve a fair amount unless there are extenuating circumstances. There are different rules of etiquette for different industries, but financial writer Lane Gillespie noted that tips usually fall between 15% and 20%.

There could be situations in which a worker was genuinely rude, and someone does not feel comfortable tipping because of that. But if a service worker did their job to the best of their ability, there’s no reason they shouldn’t receive a tip. A customer choosing to withhold a tip is usually just being rude and immature.

Bankrate senior industry analyst Ted Rossman said, “The Federal minimum wage for tipped workers is $2.13 an hour. So if you’re not tipping in those scenarios, you’re really taking money out of the server’s pocket.” Everyone wants to save money these days, but holding out on tips is not the way to do it. Good people who do tip will notice the people who don’t.

4. Ignoring them

group ignoring a service worker fizkes | Shutterstock

Another thing good people will pick up on is someone ignoring a service worker. This could simply mean treating them as though they are less than human. Maybe the customer continues their conversation with the rest of their party when a server approaches them, or maybe they refuse to look directly at the employee when they’re talking. Whatever the situation may be, it signals an air of disrespect.

In the busy world we live in, ignoring people has become easier than ever, especially with all of the technology we use to communicate. Finance writer Michael Hess thinks this is wrong. “But no matter how busy you are — or think you are — it’s no excuse for tossing aside basic decency and professionalism in the way you interact with people,” he noted.

Just because a customer believes a worker is below their station does not mean they’re unimportant. They deserve respectful communication, just like any other person does. If someone thinks they are an exception to a rule of basic decency, people will take notice.

5. Saying thank you

woman saying thank you to server ViDI Studio | Shutterstock

Being polite and saying thank you may seem simple, but it can mean a lot. When someone does something nice for another person, saying thank you should really be a reflex. It’s the bare minimum reaction. If a server sets down a plate of food, a barista hands a customer their coffee, or a retail worker gives the customer their bag of purchased items, a thank you should be natural.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people were more helpful and open towards those who expressed gratitude. Additionally, this helped to strengthen bonds both between individuals and groups. Gratitude may seem minor, but it plays a huge role in how we all perceive each other.

Not saying thank you may not be the end of the world, but good people will notice, and it will affect their opinion of someone. Gratitude is a powerful force, and its absence can be felt. There’s nothing that should prevent someone from saying thank you or a few other words of kindness when a service worker does something for them.

6. Blaming them for something that went wrong

man blaming his server for something that went wrong BearFotos | Shutterstock

Good people can tell a lot about someone by watching them react to hiccups. If a customer is at a restaurant and the server delivers the incorrect order to them, chances are that it wasn't even the server’s fault. The mix-up probably occurred in the kitchen. Still, many would call out their server and blame them for what happened.

Psychologist Arash Emamzadeh explained that often, blaming other people is actually a form of projection. It allows the one doing the blaming to protect themselves by ignoring any guilt or shame they may be feeling, and instead putting that on someone else. While it may make someone feel better temporarily, it’s no excuse for blaming someone else for something they had no control over.

Even if they did have control over it, it’s still not right to react with a rude and overly blaming attitude. If that same server were to spill something instead of just getting an order wrong, it could lead to some frustration and tension. But good people will always notice when people treat those kinds of situations with a calm and level head.

7. Using a certain tone of voice

woman who used a certain tone of voice with a service worker Nicoleta Ionescu | Shutterstock

We make choices about our tone of voice in every conversation we have. If a customer chooses to have a negative tone of voice when they’re speaking with a service worker, it really doesn’t matter how they speak to anyone else. That tone will be ingrained in the minds of all the good people listening. Just because someone is a service worker does not mean they deserve less respect or civility when they are spoken to.

Rick Hanson, PhD, said that people actually more readily pick up on one’s tone of voice than they do what is actually being said. He also notes that this makes an individual more mindful as well. “Paying attention to tone puts you more in touch with yourself because you have to be aware of what’s building inside — promoting mindfulness and [building] up its neural substrates,” he said.

It’s important for customers to be aware of how their tone of voice affects the service workers they interact with, and the good people watching. If someone is not being nice, it’s obvious for anyone to see, whether they’re in the line of fire or not. A negative or rude tone of voice lets others know that a person is not someone they want to be around.

8. Demanding special treatment

woman demanding special treatment MDV Edwards | Shutterstock

No one person is more special than another. It’s one thing for a customer to remember that when considering how they treat everyone, from the smallest person at the company to the person at the very top. It’s another thing entirely for a customer to understand they aren’t any more special than another. Expecting special treatment for any reason is wrong and demeans the service worker.

“As humans, we’re wired to look for signals we’re special, and we get a mood boost when we feel our ‘uniqueness’ affirmed,” said the University of Virginia’s Katherine Bowers. “And in our hunger for unique treatment, we even sometimes desire worse treatment for others.”

Everyone wants to feel special, but that doesn’t mean they should expect that kind of treatment from service workers. They’re just doing their job and trying to get through the day. If a customer is demanding special treatment, good people will notice and most likely think less of them as a result.

9. Not cleaning up after themselves

messy table that was not cleaned up Naparat | Shutterstock

Admittedly, in some service roles, it’s the server’s job to clean up after the customer. A restaurant patron can’t really take their plates to the kitchen, and someone walking through a hallway can’t offer to mop up after themselves. However, customers can do their best to clean up after themselves and leave things as orderly for workers as possible.

For example, a family that went out to eat can stack their plates and silverware. Someone who tracked mud into a building can wipe it up themselves. A person who tried on clothes in a fitting room can remove all of the clothes and leave the room as pristine as they found it.

Mom blogger Katie Bingham-Smith explained that it’s essential for her kids to clean up after themselves. “There are more of you than there are of me,” she said. “If we all do our part and clean up after ourselves then life is a lot easier.”

The same could be said for the relationship between service workers and customers. If a customer leaves a mess behind, the good people who do tidy up will take note of it.

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10. Being rude

woman being rude fizkes | Shutterstock

While being rude is a bit of a blanket statement that could apply to many of these points, there is also such a thing as just being nasty towards someone else. Just because someone is a service worker does not mean they deserve to be treated rudely by customers. The opposite is true. Because that worker is doing so much by serving, they should be treated with kindness.

A Carnegie Mellon University study found that rudeness can have a major impact on one’s mental health. It can get in the way of productivity. When medical professionals are exposed to it, they don’t make decisions as carefully. Most people probably wouldn’t be rude to their doctor, so why a cashier or barista?

One of the easiest things for good people to notice is rudeness. There is really no way to mask it. They will take note of people who treat service workers rudely and form their opinions accordingly. There is simply no excuse for rudeness.

11. Only being nice when someone else is there to see

woman who is only nice when someone else is there to see it Prostock-studio | Shutterstock

People who are only nice when others can see it are tricky because, well, if someone isn’t there to see it, then how does anybody know? However, even if there’s no one there that they know who can see their behavior, there’s almost always someone they don’t know. Those good people who don’t know them will see right through what they’re doing.

Someone might think it’s not the worst thing in the world for a stranger to see them on their worst behavior, and maybe it’s not. But it still means there is someone there who can judge them. That can be a powerful motivator.

Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, ABPP, discussed whether someone can be too nice and noted there really is no such thing. “In the end, their lives will benefit more than the lives of the nastier and more selfish in the population,” she said. There is no disadvantage to being kind in all situations, which some people would do well to remember.

Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.