10 Things That Used To Be A Given In Life That Feel Unattainable Now

Once basic to everyday life, many things that used to be a given in life have shifted to feeling unattainable now, and it’s jarring when something that used to feel easy now feels like climbing uphill in sand.

Part of the challenge is that we rarely notice when something stops feeling natural. We wake up one day to realize it’s been months since we did something we love, or years since you felt stability. So, it’s worth naming what changed to make peace with it or find a way forward.

Here are 10 things that used to be a given in life that feel unattainable now

1. Having long, uninterrupted conversations

Conversation feels a given for two people kryzhov via Shutterstock

It used to be easy to sit with someone and talk for hours with no buzzing phones, no rush, and no background anxiety tugging at your mind. Today, conversations are often broken by distractions or squeezed in between other obligations.

The result? Even when you talk to people, it feels surface-level and hurried. Deep connection is still possible, but it takes more effort, and often more boundaries, to create space for it.

2. Feeling truly rested after sleep

Woman feels sleep is a given New Africa via Shutterstock

Once upon a time, eight hours of sleep meant waking up refreshed. Now, even after a full night, you might still feel groggy, scattered, or somehow behind before the day even begins.

Part of it is the mental load we carry, constant notifications, unprocessed stress, or overstimulation right before bed. Rest is more than sleep; it’s recovery. And in a culture that never powers down, true rest can feel like a luxury.

3. Trusting without deep skepticism

Skeptical woman feels trust unattainable Giulio_Fornasar via Shutterstock

There was a time when you could hear a report or read a headline and take it at face value. While it wasn’t perfect, there was a general sense that certain sources could be counted on for facts.

Now, skepticism is a reflex. Between misinformation, polarized perspectives, and agenda-driven narratives, it’s hard to know what to believe. Constant second-guessing creates fatigue and a low hum of distrust that’s tough to shake.

4. Making plans without needing a backup plan (or two)

Woman makes back up plan as a given fizkes via Shutterstock

Remember when you could set a date, make a reservation, or book a flight and assume it would just... happen? Now, uncertainty hovers over almost every plan, be it weather, illness, cancellations, or changing commitments.

It’s made planning more fragile and emotionally taxing. Spontaneity and reliability used to be a given. Now, they feel like a bonus when everything lines up just right.

5. Spending time alone without guilt or FOMO

Woman spends time alone as a given Max kegfire via Shutterstock

Solitude used to be relaxing, a way to recharge, reset, or just be. But now, with constant digital connection and cultural pressure to always be doing something worthwhile, being alone feels like you’re missing out or falling behind.

Even when you want solitude, it’s easy to fill the silence with scrolling or multitasking. The pure, simple pleasure of being alone with your thoughts takes more conscious effort.

6. Feeling financially secure with a steady job

Man takes security as a given Miljan Zivkovic via Shutterstock

There was a time when having a full-time job meant a degree of stability, you could plan, save, and breathe a little. Today, even steady work doesn’t translate into peace of mind.

Rising costs, job market shifts, and burnout mean many people live with underlying financial stress, no matter how hard they work. Security has become more fragile, even when the paycheck still arrives.

7. Getting through the day without multi-screening

Man multi-screens as a given mimagephotography via Shutterstock

Once upon a time, watching TV meant just watching TV. Reading meant just reading. Being at dinner meant talking and eating, not glancing at a screen every five minutes.

Now, most of us are juggling multiple screens at once without even realizing it. Constant stimulation has become the norm, and single-task focus feels oddly foreign, even though it’s where a lot of joy and calm used to live.

8. Believing the future will be better

Woman takes future as given stockfour via Shutterstock

Growing up, many people assumed that progress was the default, things would improve, opportunities would grow, and life would get better. That sense of forward momentum feels less certain now.

Between climate anxiety, economic instability, and cultural division, the future can feel more threatening than hopeful. It’s hard to aim for growth when you’re just trying to stay steady.

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9. Knowing your neighbors

Neighbors get to know each other as given shurkin_son via Shutterstock

There was a time when neighbors weren’t just people who lived nearby, they were the ones who lent sugar, watched your pets, or joined you for a chat on the porch. Today, many people don’t even know their neighbors’ names.

Modern life often values privacy, independence, and fast-paced schedules over community and connection. That loss of casual familiarity can leave you feeling isolated, even in a crowded place.

10. Feeling like you have time

Family share time as given imtmphoto via Shutterstock

You used to be able to sit around and feel time passing, long afternoons, slow weekends, moments where boredom opened the door to creativity. Now, life often feels like a blur of to-do lists and time slipping away.

The pace of life hasn’t just sped up; it’s swallowed the natural pauses. Time hasn’t changed, but how we experience it has, and reclaiming it takes far more intention than it ever used to.

Sloane Bradshaw is a writer and essayist who frequently contributes to YourTango.