10 Things Brilliant Women Say No To In Their Relationship To Make Sure It Lasts For A Lifetime
They refuse to settle for half-hearted efforts or confusing behavior because they know their worth.
mavo | Shutterstock There are a lot of components that go into being in a healthy and safe relationship. A long-lasting connection takes sacrifice, compromise, and being able to understand when your partner is not allowing you to have a say in things that matter to you. But there are certain things brilliant women say no to in their relationship to make sure it lasts for a lifetime, all without bulldozing over their partner and maintaining trust and respect.
These types of women are always intentional about the people they choose to love. They thrive on being able to nurture healthy relationships, and create space where both them and their partner can feel safe and heard. They refuse to lose themselves along with their values when in a relationship, no matter how much they might love and adore the person they're with. By asserting themselves the way they do, they're able to make a strong relationship continue to last.
Here are 10 things brilliant women say no to in their relationship to make sure it lasts for a lifetime
1. Disrespect of any kind
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Brilliant women refuse to tolerate any form of disrespect and belittling behavior from the person they're in a relationship with. With things like being mocked during conversation, talked over, or having their feelings invalidated, they're able to swiftly and assertively put their foot down so that it doesn't become a repeated habit.
They know that love and respect go hand-in-hand, and a healthy relationship simply cannot last if someone is being subjected to constant digs and unappreciative comments.
As psychology professor Peter Gray explained, "Love is not all you need, nor all your wife or husband needs, and certainly not all your children need. We all need respect, especially from those who are closest and most intimately connected with us."
2. Emotional unavailability
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There's nothing that can end a relationship faster than being involved with someone who doesn't know how to be vulnerable with their emotions. From shutting down during difficult conversations to purposefully not sharing details about their life, the things brilliant women say no to in their relationship to make sure it lasts for a lifetime involve emotional unavailability.
These women know that they cannot allow that to fly when trying to build something meaningful with another person. Every relationship requires both people to be vulnerable with each other. It's only through opening up that you end up learning more about your partner and more about yourself as well.
"Being vulnerable creates emotional intimacy and connection. Opening yourself to your partner shows and builds trust and helps them understand you on a deeper level. A way to increase trust is to test it out, and by letting your partner in, you are giving them an opportunity to earn that trust," licensed couples counselor Kari Rusnak pointed out.
3. Controlling behavior
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Brilliant women refuse to put up with a controlling partner. They can quickly spot when their significant other is trying to dictate certain areas of their lives, like how they dress, who their friends are, how much time they spend away from home, and even how they interact with others.
There's nothing healthy about a partner who wants to manipulate and have a say in parts of your life that are none of their business or concern. And while not all controlling behavior is inherently abusive, research published in Aggressive Behavior found a link between certain controlling behaviors and domestic violence.
You simply cannot have a long-lasting relationship if you feel that your significant other doesn't respect or adhere to your autonomy.
4. Poor communication
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Brilliant women refuse to put up with a partner who doesn't know how to communicate, mostly because they know that miscommunication only ends up breeding resentment and distance between them and the person they love. Communication isn't just about talking, but being able to actively listen and creating space where both people feel seen and understood.
A study from International Journal of Indian Psychology found that miscommunication is the primary reason for a relationship ending, not because love wasn't there, but because the emotional distance was exacerbated due to the lack of communication. You simply cannot build a lasting connection with someone who won't even meet you halfway during conversations.
5. Dishonesty
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Even if it's about something small, like them forgetting to go grocery shopping or not properly cleaning the bathroom, brilliant women won't put up with any form of dishonesty from the person they're with.
It's because they know that the second their partner isn't being truthful about something, it can eventually snowball into bigger issues that will eventually test the trust that she has with them. It raises questions about what else they could be hiding, which eventually destroys a relationship beyond repair.
"Each case of betrayal is unique," marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer explained. "The potential damage and complications that surround lying, as well as disclosure, are things to consider when telling lies and keeping secrets. Contemplation in advance about the consequences of our actions to ourselves, our loved ones, and our relationships requires a degree of self-awareness, but can prevent unnecessary suffering."
6. One-sided effort
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A brilliant woman knows that a one-sided relationship can never work. She refuses to be the only one who goes out of her way to ensure that her significant other is receiving the love, support, and attention they need while she in turn gets nothing back from them.
A healthy relationship requires balance and equal effort, where a one-sided relationship can have dire consequences. Research from the Journal of Health Psychology suggested that partners who under-provide in their relationship experience distress, which can mimic the stress and overwhelm of the partner who is putting in all the effort. Basically, both people in the relationship suffer.
It's unrealistic to assume that each partner can give the other person 100% all of the time, but reciprocated energy is always appreciated. Maybe some days you're giving 40% and the other person is giving 60%, or so on and so forth. As long as both people in the relationship feel valued and appreciated, that connection can end up being quite long-lasting and fruitful.
7. Avoiding conflict
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There's no way around having a healthy relationship and refusing to acknowledge the conflict that inevitably comes up with your significant other. Conflict in relationships is unavoidable, and ignoring tension is one of the many things brilliant women say no to in their relationship to make sure it lasts for a lifetime.
They know that if you're able to address it in a productive and respectful way, it can end up strengthening the bond rather than completely destroying it. Because healthy conflict isn't something they ever fear or run away from.
They welcome honest and sometimes uncomfortable conversation because they know that brushing things under the rug will only end up making it worse. It means addressing disagreements head-on instead of turning the other cheek because then you'll only end up resenting your partner for things that are left unsaid.
8. Having to dim their light
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There's nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone that forces you to have to dim your light. Brilliant women won't compromise their sense of self just to make their partner feel more comfortable, especially when it's at the expense of their own happiness and authenticity.
They understand that love shouldn't feel like some cage where they need to lock parts of themselves away just to have this connection with someone else. Brilliant women would rather be alone than have to be with someone that dims their light and makes them feel insecure with who they are. It's the one thing they will never sacrifice.
9. Mistreatment in public
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How a partner treats them in public speaks volumes about how they view both them and their relationship, a fact that brilliant women refuse to play about with the person they're with. They will not tolerate being mocked, dismissed, or even criticized in front of others.
It doesn't matter if it's with family, friends, neighbors, or strangers. That kind of behavior will only end up damaging the trust and respect that exists between her and her significant other, which are both important aspects of a long-lasting relationship.
Experts from BetterHelp explained that disrespect can take many forms and the impact of it can be incredibly damaging. Disrespect in a relationship can lead to lowered self-esteem, unhappiness, doubt about the partnership, and feelings of detachment and apathy.
But a partner who truly loves them will speak highly of them in any room they walk into. If they ever feel the need to engage in public disrespect, brilliant women know that it's only a matter of time before deeper issues start to manifest.
10. Lack of support for their dreams
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Having goals and passions is something that everyone is entitled to have, and, more importantly, your partner should be supportive and encouraging of any endeavors that you want to pursue. Because they are aware that they can't be with someone who doesn't support their dreams, it's one of the things brilliant women say no to in their relationship to make sure it lasts for a lifetime.
They will often put their foot down if they feel that their goals are being ridiculed or mocked. Because relationships that last means both partners are each other's biggest cheerleaders. Without that support, it means they won't be able to grow together and create this shared vision for their future.
These women simply refuse to settle for someone who doesn't see their value and worth, especially when they already see it in themselves.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
