If These 10 Things Feel Familiar, You Might Be More Into The Fantasy Than The Actual Relationship
You have to find love in reality.
Macedo Fotografo | Canva Love. This one word alone has the potential to evoke a thousand feelings in you, and it is something that everyone is looking for in their lives. Love truly makes the world go round.
In your walk of life, you will come across different kinds of love and relationships. One of these relationships is a fantasy relationship.
A fantasy relationship is a one-sided relationship where one person develops feelings for the other person and obsesses over being in a romantic relationship with them. As described by a University of New Hampshire study, this is also known as limerence, which includes constantly daydreaming and fantasizing about their object of attraction.
If these things feel familiar, you might be more into the fantasy than the actual relationship:
1. You daydream about them all day, every day
Even if you are not in a relationship with the person you are attracted to, you will find yourself constantly imagining scenarios where both of you are together and happy. Additionally, you will also dream of a happy and perfect future with him.
Daydreaming and fantasizing about the person you are attracted to becomes a habit. You will conjure up all sorts of fictional and romantic situations in your head, where he is hopelessly and madly in love with you.
2. You notice physical symptoms of nervousness
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If you are in a fantasy relationship, you will experience physical symptoms, like having anxiety when you are waiting for their calls and texts. You might feel extremely nervous and start sweating before talking to them, and constantly rehearse what you are going to say.
Moreover, if you are with them or close to them, you might feel dizzy or faint. Some research describes a fantasy bond as an imaginary connection or a sense of merging with another person or group.
If you're experiencing a strong physical attraction but are struggling with a deeper connection and authenticity, it might be worth exploring the possibility of a fantasy bond.
3. You are the ‘hero’ in the relationship
When you fantasize about the person you like, those fantasies tend to have a common element: you are the hero who always saves him from dangerous situations, and this makes him fall in love with you instantly. This kind of heroic tendency sometimes spills onto your real life as well, with you feeling extremely protective of him.
4. You find ways to always be near them
When in a fantasy relationship, the attraction you feel for the other person is very potent. You find it very difficult to stay away from him. So, you will find ways to be nearer or closer to them by dropping by places that they regularly visit.
For example, you will "bump" into him at his favorite coffee shop and pretend that it is just a fortunate coincidence. However, make sure that you don’t come across as a stalker because that is extremely creepy and might give him the wrong idea about you.
Erotomania is a psychological condition characterized by delusional beliefs that someone is in love with or will fall in love with them, even if there's no basis for these beliefs. This can also manifest as trying to win them over, ward off other suitors, or even taking revenge if a romantic relationship exists.
5. You see them as your soulmate
Emotionally, you feel that they are 'the one' for you, and both of you are meant to be together. You feel a strong and magnetic pull towards them, which is impossible for you to ignore. Even though you hardly know each other, you are convinced that he is your soulmate.
6. You find them faultless
One of the biggest signs that you are in a fantasy relationship is when you idealize them to the extent that they can never go wrong in your eyes. So, even if they are the worst person in this world and indulge in questionable activities, you find yourself defending them fiercely. For you, they are nothing short of flawless, infallible, and perfect.
This idealized view can stem from a desire for a perfect, emotionally safe connection, leading to the denial of flaws and the avoidance of real conflict. Instead of engaging with the complexities of a relationship, a 2021 study suggested that individuals may retreat into a fantasy bond, prioritizing the illusion of connection over genuine intimacy.
7. You feel jealous of anyone interested in them
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Jealousy plays a huge part when it comes to a fantasy relationship. You will notice feelings of immense jealousy when other people feel attracted to them. The fact that the person you are attracted to can be attracted to someone other than you is unfathomable.
You just cannot imagine them with somebody else. There is no real commitment between you two, but you feel a certain sense of loyalty towards him, which makes you reject the people who might be potentially interested in you.
8. You're constantly looking for clues
You constantly try to read between the lines when it comes to your fantasy relationship. Trying to find hidden meanings in everything they say or do becomes like second nature to you.
Looking for clues and evidence that they also like you is something that takes up most of your time, as you desperately search for a glimmer of hope that you might have a future with them after all.
Constant questioning and seeking validation can signify that a person is more focused on proving their expectations than truly understanding their partner. According to research by Cambridge University, this can lead to misinterpretations of behavior and a persistent sense of insecurity.
9. You experience withdrawal symptoms
If by any chance, he withdraws from you or stops talking to you, you fall into a deep depression. Since you have never imagined a life without him, you feel completely lost and empty.
You start experiencing extreme mood swings, like feeling euphoric when you are with them and extremely low, in case they ignore you or reject you. This kind of feeling is similar to what a drug addict feels when he is going through withdrawal.
10. You just cannot accept the breakup
In case your "relationship" ends, you constantly pine for them and look for ways to get them back in your life. You feel an overwhelming and painful bond with them and look for ways to get their approval, attention, and affection.
Being in a fantasy relationship will bring you nothing more than pain and disappointment. If you are really lucky and the person you are attracted to ends up reciprocating your feelings, then amazing!
But in case that does not happen, you need to try and move on from this. Living in a world of fantasy will not help you find the love you deserve to have in your life. Be patient, because your Prince Charming is just around the corner waiting for you.
Alexandra Hall is a writer who focuses on self-care, self-love, and health and wellness. She is currently a freelance writer for publications including: The Boston Globe, Yankee Magazine, Boston Magazine, Bon Appétit, Town & Country, Boston Common, American Way, and Elle Decor.
