11 Rare Things A Man Will Only Do When He Feels Emotionally Safe With You
Emotional safety is one of the most important things that can help a relationship thrive.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock The secret to having a long-lasting, healthy, and loving relationship is making sure that you not only feel physically safe with your partner, but emotionally safe as well. Without that emotional connection and stability, couples can feel scared to express their needs because they're unsure of how the other person will react. But once there's emotional safety, couples have a safe space to be vulnerable and work on challenges as a team.
For many men, opening up emotionally to their partner doesn't come easy. Many men fear being judged, rejected, or even ridiculed. These feelings can stem from a lot of things, but mostly because of the way society has made them feel about what it means to actually be vulnerable. But the rare things a man will only do when he feels emotionally safe with you mean he genuinely feels accepted and understood, and knows that you won't use his vulnerability against him.
Here are 11 rare things a man will only do when he feels emotionally safe with you
1. He shows his imperfections
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Once a man feels emotionally safe with you, he'll slowly start allowing you to see his flaws and imperfections without trying to mask them. Instead of trying to impress you and put on a façade that he's someone he's not, he'll allow you to see the more human sides of him and all of his quirks.
He's simply no longer trying to prove his worth through perfection, and might start doing more things like being able to laugh at himself around you, admit when he's wrong, and share moments where he felt like he might've failed.
A 2023 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that accepting your partner and feeling accepted by them are important to relationship satisfaction. A man who shows his imperfections is a man who truly loves you and trusts you to be able to stand beside him.
2. He's playful and silly
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When a man feels emotionally safe with you, he'll start showing you the other sides of his personality. He'll find that it's easy to be playful and silly in your company without fear that you'll judge him or look at him sideways for not always being composed or "manly." A study from the journal HUMOR even found that both husbands and wives were found to be happier with a humorous partner.
When a man feels comfortable around you, he'll allow his inner child to shine and truly come through. That kind of silliness goes far beyond telling the occasional joke. It's making funny faces or voices, having inside jokes, and maybe even seeing off-key karaoke during car rides together.
These moments not only strengthen the relationship but also create a sense of ease that just can't be forced.
3. He asks for help and support during challenging times
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For many men, they feel this expectation of needing to help and support themselves instead of leaning on other people. It goes back to the expectation of men needing to be "manly" and solve issues and problems on their own, because the second they show any form of vulnerability, they're no longer considered a "real man."
But one of the rare things a man will only do when he feels emotionally safe with you in a relationship is not second-guessing or doubting that you'll be there to support him through the most challenging of times.
Mental health counselor Leon Garber emphasized the importance of asking and receiving help from your partner is equal to having a healthy relationship.
"On the one hand, it creates a sense of trust through reliability. On the other hand, it fosters a feeling of significance for both parties — the helper and the receiver. We feel that we matter to each other, which makes us feel closer. Rugged individualism stifles communication and prolongs conflicts," he explained.
4. He admits when he's wrong
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When a man is able to admit fault with his partner, it's such a glaring sign that he feels emotionally safe enough to do so. He'll be able to put his ego aside and take accountability when he's messed up, instead of shutting down, getting defensive, or doubling down on the mistake that he made. He loves you enough to not only take accountability but to also repair the damage that may have been done.
"It can be challenging to acknowledge when we have made a mistake or have harbored an incorrect belief. For some, the difficulty in admitting one's fault can become a recurring pattern that impedes personal growth and hinders relationships. Instead of owning up, we try to save face through denial and/or ignorance," explained psychologist Mark Travers.
"Remember, apologizing, admitting to an error, or changing a flawed belief does not make you any less of a person. It shows courage, honesty, and strength of character."
5. He doesn't feel the need to fill quiet moments
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One of the most clear signs that a man feels emotionally safe with you is his comfortability with being able to sit in silence with you. He doesn't just chatter because he thinks he's obligated to and, instead, he knows your connection isn't just dependent on always having something to say. He can just sit beside you on the couch and you two can be doing two completely different things, but still feel close and loved by you.
"Don't view silence as a failure or problem. Silence is an opportunity to pause, reflect, and gather thoughts; and to observe, take in, digest, and process. Use silence to become more comfortable with yourself and others, rather than becoming anxious and disconnected," encouraged trained therapist Michele DeMarco.
6. He respects your boundaries without pushback
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A man who feels emotionally safe with you knows how to honor and respect your boundaries without pressuring you, guilt-tripping, or getting upset because it infringes on what he wants.
Whether it's something big like needing time away to decompress or something small like not really being in the mood to have a conversation before bed, he'll listen and readjust without ever making you feel like you have to explain yourself.
"Healthy boundaries are limits you set around your time, emotions, psychological energy, and physical space and body to protect yourself from feeling drained by others in your life," psychologist Rubin Khoddam explained. "For that reason, healthy boundaries promote good mental and emotional health and help you avoid burnout, exhaustion, and being spread too thin."
7. He sends random texts just because
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He doesn't need a reason and the text message doesn't have to contain anything important, but a man who feels emotionally safe with you will simply always want to stay in contact throughout the day. He'll send you a random meme, a message that he's thinking of you, or he'll even ask questions about how you're doing and how your day is going.
These moments may feel small, but it's proof that no matter how far away he may be from you, he'll try his best to let you know he's thinking of you. Those spontaneous messages are less about communication and more about wanting to strengthen the connection. It reflects how safe he feels around you and how much he trusts you enough to let you into the crevices of his life.
8. He tells you about his childhood memories
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Whenever a man starts really opening up about his childhood, the good, the bad, and even the ugly, traumatic moments, it not only means that he trusts you with this information, but he also feels incredibly emotionally safe with you, too. He'll open up about funny moments with his parents, times with his childhood friends, and even the experiences that ended up shaping him into who he is today.
There's nothing more heartwarming than getting to the stage in a relationship where the other person starts unraveling details of their past. It allows you to really see who they are as they're allowing you into their memories.
9. He lets you comfort him when he's upset
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Instead of retreating, putting on a brave face, or lying about being upset, a man who feels safe with you will allow you to see him at his most vulnerable. He'll sit next to you with his head on your shoulder and open up about the things that are making him upset and allow you to simply be there and comfort him.
As New York Times best-selling author Lewis Howes explained, "Not many men are talking about the insecurities, pressures, fears, and vulnerabilities that most men think they're not allowed to talk about. It's been conditioned that it's not okay to show emotion... That type of conditioning is hard to break in men, especially if it's something that they've faced for decades."
He might not be looking for a solution or advice, but rather he just wants to be in your space and feel your presence because it's able to calm him down. He knows without a doubt that you'll not only respect his feelings but also hold them without judgment or rejection.
In those moments, he's letting his guard down completely without even an ounce of fear that you'll change how you feel about him, because he knows you won't.
10. He speaks about your relationship with pride
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A man who feels emotionally safe with you will do everything in his power to make sure the people in his life know how amazing your relationship is. He won't hide you, make excuses for why you can't come around his friends and family, or refuse to post you on social media. He'll show you off to the world because he believes he's won by being with you.
It means he's not embarrassed or hesitant to tell people things about you and the dynamic of your relationship. It doesn't mean he's spilling intimate and vulnerable details, but rather, he's confident and proud to share moments about how you've changed his life and made him happy.
11. He uses the word 'us' when talking about the two of you
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There's no "me," "I," or even just "you" when a man feels emotionally safe in the relationship. Everything, from future plans, challenges, and just everyday decisions, will naturally include you because he simply can't picture doing anything life-related without you by his side.
Not only is he acknowledging that this is a shared journey for the both of you but that your happiness is just as important as his. He's not afraid to show you that the relationship is a partnership. He's not only mentally invested, but emotionally as well, and wants to do everything as a team.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
