People Living The Lives We All Dream About Figured These 6 Things Out Sooner Than Most, Experts Say
Want the life everyone envies? Learn these lessons early.
Sofía Huerta | Unsplash Research highlights the effectiveness of micro–interventions—small, manageable actions—for boosting well-being without requiring significant time or effort. These small changes can become habitual, leading to long-term improvements.
You can take small actions to focus on your well-being without creating another lengthy to-do list. It doesn't take too much time or effort to make a small action that can resonate with significant change to improve your life.
People living the lives we all dream about figured these six things out sooner than most, experts say:
1. How to set boundaries
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You may have a great career, friends, lovers, and children, but the relationships with people at work and home can create joy or mayhem. So, one thing in your control is to treat each relationship respectfully and ask for respect.
Asking for respect is done in both small and big ways, and you treat yourself and others. How you model right and wrong sends a loud and clear message, as well as when you say yes and no.
Healthy boundaries are also a personal revelation of who you are and will be. Use boundaries not to keep people out and limit your relationship, but to shape the relationship so you are both healthy and happy.
— Reta Walker, Ph.D., Relationship Therapist
2. How to stop making life more complicated than it is
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Stop making life more complicated than it is. Everything happens for a reason, and when one door shuts, another opens. Once we stop resisting life and live it, we see dramatic changes.
Some simple steps to "get over life" and actively decide to change your life:
- Learn to embrace discomfort.
- Identify why you want to change your life.
- Define the changes you want to make.
- Identify what may hold you back.
- Choose one thing to change.
- Set a realistic goal.
— Maitry Joshi, Healthcare Professional
3. How to be kind to yourself
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For some reason, many women find it easier to be kind to others and give until their well runs dry. But when it comes to yourself, even basic self-care can be tough to work into your schedule.
The idea of being kind to yourself starts in your mind. For most people, their inner chatter is critical, harsh, and completely lacks any support or kindness. Many are far meaner to themselves with inner dialog than they'd ever be to anyone else in real life.
To make this life-changing shift, start by noticing when you're beating yourself up and stop. Then say something nice to yourself immediately. For example, if you're beating yourself up about forgetting to put out the trash, you can say something about how you do remember 95% of the time.
Make a practice of turning around those negative, snide comments and instead, compliment yourself about something you do well. Then, take a deep breath and feel how good it is to acknowledge yourself and be supportive. That will lift your spirits and build self-esteem! Try it today.
— Ronnie Ann Ryan, Intuitive Coach
4. How to stop seeing yourself as the victim
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This is not to say you have never been a victim. However, there is a time and a place to own your contribution to situations that have not worked out well.
Learn from past experiences and mistakes. Life improves by owning your mistakes, learning from them, and moving on with more wisdom.
— Lesley Goth, Clinical Psychologist
5. How to prioritize self-care
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Prioritizing and investing in your mental fitness is a foundational piece that underpins fulfillment throughout your life. Adopting a proactive approach to mental well-being sets you up for success.
Engaging in activities that work for you, such as practicing mindfulness, creating a focus on daily self-care rituals like exercise, good sleep, goal setting, connection with others, seeking support when needed, and fostering positive thought patterns, are good examples of how you can create a better mindset every day.
You can enhance your emotional resilience, manage stress more effectively, and cultivate a healthier mindset. Prioritizing mental fitness can positively impact various aspects of your life, from relationships to decision-making, leading to transformative changes for the better. So, build your foundation of rituals!
— Sue Kohn-Taylor, Mental Fitness & Self Leadership Specialist
6. How to stop dwelling on the past
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Happy people live in the present and stay focused on creating good experiences here and now. This builds a better life and a brighter attitude about the future.
— Gloria Brame, Ph.D, Therapist
Radically altering the direction of your life might seem like an unachievable task. A job better left for another day when time is available, and your headspace is clear. Yet, life is messy and complicated, and we seldom have the time and headspace to make an effort.
When we look at changing our lives from a slightly different perspective, we find numerous ways to facilitate significant positive change with only slight alterations to our daily mental habits and routines.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
