If Someone Does These 5 Things When Introducing Themselves, They Probably Have Excellent Social Skills
You can often spot a socially savvy person in the first thirty seconds.
Valentine Sondrasyuk | Unsplash When you are meeting new people, do your palms get sweaty, and you clam up, as you stand there awkwardly unable to think of a single thing to say? If so, you aren't alone. Many people find it difficult and uncomfortable to introduce themselves, no matter how much they want to meet men or women and find love or make new friends.
Take a page from people who rock introductions. They just have a way of putting others at ease, making conversation feel effortless, and leaving a positive impression without even trying.
If someone does these 5 things when introducing themselves, they probably have excellent social skills:
1. They don't overdo the introduction
One thing that never fails is to smile and say, “Hi, I'm Ronnie. What’s your name?” This works with or without the handshake. You can’t go wrong with this standard introduction.
Next, ask where the person is from and share where you live. “I'm from Milford. Where are you from?”
But then, you might be left staring at each other in awkward silence, not knowing what to say next. For help, try any of the other four suggestions below to get the conversation rolling and make new friends.
2. They approach people, rather than waiting to be approached
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One of the best ways to get better at meeting people is to make a game out of it. Challenge yourself to meet three new people at your next outing and don't let yourself wiggle out of it! Get a friend to do this with you and compete to see who can meet more people.
Having to approach three people in a short amount of time will give you the practice you need. Sometimes, just repeating the process over and over allows you to feel more comfortable and less awkward.
While research doesn't always explicitly state that challenging yourself is a direct sign of social skills, there's a strong link between personal growth, self-improvement, and certain traits associated with embracing challenges and better social competence. Individuals with a growth mindset, who see challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement rather than threats, are more likely to embrace social situations and learn from feedback.
3. They ask thoughtful questions
If you want to meet someone, but aren't sure what to say, ask a question. This is one of the easiest ways to break the ice with anyone because you are making them do the talking!
For example, if you're at a party, ask how the person knows the host. Any of these other topics is perfect for creating a simple one-liner that opens the conversation:
- Music: Ask if she knows the song or artist, or if she likes the tune.
- Food: Ask what food he has already tried, so you know what is good and what to avoid.
- Sports: If a game is on TV, ask who is playing or winning.
- Drinks: See a drink that looks good, ask about it! Talk about the beer or an unusual cocktail.
- Weather: When you're outside, it's so easy to say something like, “Isn't this a beautiful day?”
Research shows that people who ask more questions, especially follow-up questions, are perceived as more likable and responsive by their conversation partners. Curiosity increases our flexibility, making us more adaptable to challenges and better able to regulate emotions.
4. They openly ask for input or advice
Being on the short side, I always watch for a tall person walking down the grocery aisle I'm in. For some reason, whatever I want is always on the top shelf. No one has ever said “No!” to my request for help.
You can ask anything. Walking around a museum, you might ask, “Do you know a good restaurant around here?" or, “What time is it?” or, “Do you know where the Monet exhibit is?” You get the idea.
Asking for help can be an effective way to initiate and strengthen connections with others. It can open the door for reciprocal interactions and create a sense of mutual support and trust. Research from Harvard shows that asking questions, even those related to seeking help, can increase liking and positive impressions.
5. They break the ice with a little humor
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Humor is a fun way to introduce yourself to someone new. You can memorize a silly pick-up line like, “Can I buy you a drink, or would you rather have the cash?”
Or, you can talk about something from your environment, wherever you are. At the Natural History Museum, for example, you might say, “Aren't you glad you’ll never be face-to-face with a wooly mammoth? I sure am!"
Last but not least, keep this very important social fact in mind: almost everyone feels a little lost or nervous about meeting new people.
So, you are probably doing them a favor by taking the bold step to start a conversation. Most people will welcome the opportunity to talk with you and will feel relieved you took the risk to get things started, so they didn't have to.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours and the host of the popular metaphysical podcast Breathe Love & Magic. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.
