The Art Of Being Single: 7 Meaningful Things I Get To Do Because I Don’t Have To Ask Anyone’s Permission
It's better to be alone than with the wrong person.
Jacob Lund | Canva I have been single for four years. Four years. Yet, I’m totally happy with my relationship status, and I have embraced it for all the good of singlehood. I’ve heard everything from “you’re bitter about love” to “you’re jealous everyone else is in a relationship and you aren’t” when I’ve said how genuinely happy I am.
Being single is a vibrant season of life that deserves to be celebrated. So here's to the wild, the wonderful, and beautifully meaningful things we get to do when the only person we need to check in with is ourselves.
Here are 7 meaningful things I get to do because I don’t have to ask anyone’s permission:
1. It's allowed me to be unapologetically myself
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And I’ll always be grateful that I’ve had these experiences that others may not have had the opportunity to. Relationships are beautiful, but so is this: the freedom to be unapologetically, wildly, completely yourself without compromise.
Making decisions based purely on what you want, not what worked for you as a couple, isn't selfish, research by the Gottman Institute supports. It's a unique privilege of being in a season of life that likely won't last forever.
2. It's allowed me to dedicate my time to my self-growth
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I’ve self-reflected about who I am as a person, what my beliefs are, what I stand for, and what I need. By giving myself time to do things that make me happy, I learned to focus on myself. I’m living 100% for me. And I’ve grown to be unapologetic for wanting to be selfish at this time in my life.
When you're single, you have the rare gift of uninterrupted time to become the fullest version of yourself, a 2021 study argued. And that's not something to apologize for. That's something to celebrate.
3. It's allowed me to make decisions on the lifestyle I want to have
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The independence that comes with being single helps nurture a sense of self-discovery and self-reliance allowing you to adjust to your changing career, personal development, financial, and social life goals. I’ve realized that I like being the girl who works hard but plays harder.
If I want to go out with my girlfriends for a wild night out, I can. But if I want to go to the gym or have a relaxing night at home, I can do that too with no regrets. I don’t have anyone to interfere with the life I live, and I’m enjoying that freedom while I can.
4. It's give me the freedom to focus more on my career
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I’ve been able to maintain two jobs, even three, during these four years. During this time, I’ve noticed that men are often intimidated that I’ve become every workaholic character Katherine Heigl has played in a rom-com.
I’ve learned to value and be proud of my hard work ethic. I’ve realized that I have the drive to do what it takes to be successful, have money, and actually learn to save it.
I’ve realized I need someone who will support that I love working a little extra and encourage it. I wouldn’t have been able to save as much money as I have over the past four years if I were in a relationship. I wouldn’t want to work that much, and I’d prefer to spend time with them.
5. It's allowed me to become closer to my family
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Because I haven’t had someone special, I’ve been able to enjoy more family time and bond with the extended side. By spending time with them, I’ve learned so much about my family and received a lot of advice that has helped me make critical decisions. Plus, it’s nice to have a close relationship with people I’ve known my whole life, but in an adult manner.
Now my siblings are my friends, my parents are my advisors, and my cousins are the people I text when something exciting happens. Being single gives you the gift of rediscovering your family as the incredible, complex people they are and not just as background characters in your life, an American Psychological Association article suggested.
6. It's allowed me to recognize the kind of people I want to date
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When you are single, you learn rely on yourself to meet your own emotional needs. This emotional self-sufficiency is an important foundation for any healthy relationship.
After many failed dating attempts and a few heartbreaks, I’ve learned what traits I like in a person. What my deal breakers are, and the warning signs I should avoid at all costs.
My judgment of men has completely changed and I’ve learned that trusting my gut is always right. I’ve learned that love should not be confusing. If a guy wants you, you’ll know.
7. It's taught me more lessons about life and myself than any relationship ever could
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At this point in my life, I don’t want to dedicate my precious time to someone who more than likely won’t benefit my future in the way I want him to. And I don’t let the pressure from society change my outlook.
I've learned what I actually enjoy versus what I was doing to make someone else happy. I've discovered my own rhythms, my non-negotiables, my dreams that have nothing to do with fitting into someone else's vision. Being single can be like taking a masterclass in yourself.
People can judge me all they want; I really don’t care anymore. Sure, there are nights I wish I had someone to cuddle up with, but it’s not a priority right now.
I’ll always be thankful that the core development years of my adulthood have been spent being selfish and setting myself up for the rest of my life.
Because at the end of the day, you might think you and your loved one are meant to be for the rest of your lives, but in the end, you only have yourself to worry about, and you need to focus on her for a bit. That special person will come when the time is right.
Brittany Christopoulos is a TV/radio reporter, digital journalist, and the Senior Writer & Head of Trending News at Unwritten.
