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Sure flowers, chocolates, or a dinner out is nice but nothing beats giving moms what they really want.
By John Sundholm — Written on May 11, 2023
Ah, Mother's Day, the one day a year we attempt to thank moms for what is often the most thankless job of all — being a mom. Every year we struggle to come up with a gift that suits the occasion. How do you actually thank a person for pushing a child from her body and then being chained to it for 18 years at the very least?
Hats off to Hallmark for trying, but... well, it's a tall order. So we revert to brunches and bouquets and intricately gift-wrapped bathrobes — so many bathrobes. (What is the deal with all the bathrobes?) But it turns out that what moms actually want for Mother's Day is far simpler.
A survey reveals that what moms actually want for Mother's Day is peace and quiet.
"No, no," we hear you say, "surely they want to be feted and celebrated and treated like a queen, right?" Not according to a recent survey of 2,000 moms about the number one thing they wish their husbands and kids would gift them on the big day.
The survey was conducted by Lego Group, makers of the iconic kids' toys, and UK gifting website Moonpig, and the answers given by the 2,000 moms surveyed all centered on one theme — please, for the love of God, leave me alone for five minutes!
That's just a joke of course, but it's also... not? Because "leave me alone" was pretty much the subtext, and if moms like the one in the TikTok above are any indication, these 2,000 moms are definitely on to something.
10% of respondents said what moms actually want for Mother's Day is to go to the bathroom in peace.
Yes, you read that right, and if you're a person who's ever taken care of small children, let alone raised your own, you know exactly what these moms mean. When the kids are still small, you have to take them with you — you can't leave a toddler unattended, after all. But even once they grow up a bit, you can't escape their accompaniment to the potty.
You go into the bathroom and they toddle in right behind you. Even if you're strong enough to shut them out, they stand outside the door peppering you with questions or, worse yet, screaming and crying because you locked the door. Personally, I will never forget the day my nephew indignantly said, "But we're in the middle of a game!" when I insisted he immediately exits the bathroom and leaves me to defecate solo. He's never forgiven me.
Similarly, the women who Lego and Moonpig spoke to have simply had it. 200 of the 2,000 moms surveyed said they’d quite simply like to go to the toilet in peace. So if you're looking for the perfect Mother's Day gift, perhaps consider a padlock on the bathroom door that only mom knows the combination to. Done!
The survey also showed that what moms actually want for Mother's Day is 'free time.'
If you're a mom, you might be reading that and asking "What is free time?" You may remember from your pre-mom days that occasionally you sat on the couch and did, like, nothing? Sometimes for extended periods! According to Lego and Moonpig's survey, scores of moms want that back, for just a day, on Mother's Day.
A full 58% of respondents said they want to be able to "drop everything" on Mother's Day and do nothing at all. Even those who had ideas about how they'd fill that free time didn't have particularly lofty goals. Reading a book and watching TV topped the list, while other moms mentioned being able to do hobbies they've previously left behind or "practicing mindfulness."
Unsurprisingly, taking a nap ranked high too, as did taking a walk or listening to some tunes. Are you noticing a theme here? Moms feel like they don't have any time for the simplest of pleasures — they're too busy being burned out by the responsibilities of parenting.
More than half of moms surveyed said they have no time for leisure because of work, parenting and household duties.
Moms begging for free time for Mother's Day isn't a shock. The survey revealed that 65% of moms said they had no free time because of work responsibilities, while 58% said parenting and household chores kept them from having any time to simply, you know, sit down and do nothing for a minute or two, let alone read a book or practice a hobby.
None of this should be surprising — a 2022 university study revealed that parental burnout in the U.S. has reached epidemic proportions. And while the vast majority of all parents are feeling totally burned out, it disproportionally affects moms — 68% of moms versus just 42% of dads.
Still, just over half — 51% of the women surveyed by Moon Pig and Lego — said "quality time" with their families is what they want most for Mother's Day, with another 16% saying they wanted to make new memories. So maybe barricading the bathroom door isn't necessarily every mom's dream.
But still, if you're looking for what moms actually want for Mother's Day? Sure, take her someplace nice, buy her something special, surprise her with a dozen roses—and then put them in a vase in an empty room with a comfy chair on which she can just sit and stare at them in silence. And maybe throw in a dedicated bathroom exclusively for her use, just to sweeten the deal.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.