Bride Called 'Insensitive' For Not Allowing Bridesmaid To Wear A Different Color Dress As A Tribute To Her Late Mother

The bride felt it was her day, and she shouldn't have to compromise.

bride and bridesmaids Kayla Renee / Pexels

A bride was accused of being "insensitive" after she refused to allow her bridesmaid to show up in a dress that broke the wedding theme.

Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — she explained that she wasn't willing to compromise on her wedding theme since it was her big day, which didn't sit well with her bridesmaid.


She refused to let her bridesmaid wear a different color dress to the wedding as a tribute to her late mother.

In her Reddit post, the bride explained that she recently got married, and while the wedding went smoothly, there was one hiccup involving her bridesmaid, Anna.


"Anna’s mother sadly passed away in January this year. Her mother was the light of her life and ever since she passed, Anna has been understandably uptight and distant," the bride wrote.

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Before Anna's mother's death, the bride and her fiancé had come up with an ocean theme for their wedding, since her family had grown up near the sea and wanted to create a theme that would reflect her love for her family. Since that was the theme, all the bridesmaids were instructed to find a dress that was either blue, coral, or pastel green.

bride refuses to let bridesmaid wear different color dress to wedding to honor late motherPhoto: Moish Studio / Shutterstock


"Anna’s mother always loved the color dark, vibrant purple. Ever since then, Anna would buy everything purple if there was a purple choice," she continued. When she and Anna went to lunch one day, Anna brought up the idea of wearing purple to the wedding instead of the color's the bridesmaids were supposed to wear.

The bride calmly told her friend that since the wedding theme meant a lot to her and her family, and some of the women in her bridal party had already gotten beautiful dresses following the theme, she would prefer if Anna stuck to the dress code.

"I hardly heard from Anna until around 4 weeks after our lunch, despite my attempts at texting, phoning and even knocking on her door, but she’d continue to shut me off." Eventually, she heard from Anna, who texted her photos of different purple dresses, asking for her opinion.

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Again, the bride politely reiterated that she would prefer if Anna stuck to the themed-colored dresses that were previously discussed. "Anna was enraged. I tried to tell her that I understand her feelings but my wedding is my own special day. To this she blocked me."

The bride was shocked when Anna showed up on the day of the wedding not wearing a dress to match the theme.

Eventually, Anna unblocked the bride and apologized for her behavior. Thinking everything was settled between them, the bride was taken aback when the wedding day rolled around and Anna showed up in the purple dress that she was told was not allowed.

"I asked her why she had gone against my wishes and that she either had to change or leave. To this she told me to stop creating a scene and that I was being dramatic and disrespectful."

According to the bride, upon being confronted, Anna began screaming and accusing her of being "insensitive" and "selfish" for not allowing her to wear the purple dress in honor of her late mother. It got to the point where Anna had to be escorted out of the venue.


Once the ceremony ended, the bride received multiple texts from Anna's family, friends, and Anna herself, who all accused her of not being understanding toward Anna, who had been going through a hard time.

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"So, [am I the a--hole] for not just letting Anna wear the damned purple dress?" the bride questioned.

A majority of Reddit users agreed that she was not in the wrong for wanting a certain color dress at her own wedding.

"If she’s grieving so deeply that she really needed to wear that color, she should have offered to step down as bridesmaid. As a guest, she could wear the purplest purple that ever purpled without an issue," one Reddit user pointed out.


Another user agreed, writing, "She could’ve respected your wish but instead did the opposite. Blocking people because you got into an argument with them is also very childish. She’s got some issues she really needs to work on."

"Anna has had and will continue to have for the rest of her life, countless opportunities to wear purple. If she has a wedding of her own, she is free to wear purple to that," a third user chimed in.

"This is your wedding, and she had agreed to be a member of the bridal party. No matter how grief-stricken she is, she does not get to choose her own color scheme."


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Nia Tipton is a Brooklyn-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.