Photo: Fizkez / Shutterstock
At least it's not my wedding.
By NyRee Ausler — Written on Jan 22, 2023
Time and time again, people have fallen out over what went on during a wedding or about how it was planned and who was responsible for what.
The topic is so divisive, that brides have even made an online trend out of explaining how they prepared their bridesmaids for what was involved — as seen in the TikTok below.
Every bride has their own ideas of what they want to make their wedding day the best day of their life.
One person recently shared one woman’s financial expectations for anyone who participates in a wedding.
She believed that accepting a role in a wedding means you will have to spend money.
In the subreddit, "r/weddingshaming," a screenshot from a Facebook post was shared where a woman said, “I feel like if you accept a roll [role] in a wedding, you should also expect to have to lay out funds.”
The Facebooker goes on to say, “I know it’s the bride's wedding, but it’s not her spot to pay for everything. There is an expectation, and you are being asked to be a part of it.”
“If you accept it, then expect makeup trials, parties, dresses, and spending in general on your own behalf. Am I crazy?”
Commenters were unsure of what exactly to make of the post.
One person offered their own personal take on the matter, stating, “Some expenses are, in fact, part of the deal of being in the bridal party.”
“But I see too many brides feeling entitled to choose really pricey dresses & accessories, demand an expensive shower (showers are supposed to be lighthearted, casual gatherings arranged by honoree's closest friends, not huge, catered affairs that the bride plans but others finance),” they claimed.
“… over-the-top destination parties for their Bachelorette that involve time off work, hotels, restaurants, activities, plane tickets…”
“And the bride not spending a dime on any of the entertainments she demands, multiple hair & makeup trials, each at the expense of the bridal party and a lavish wedding gift.”
Many people feel pressured to spend money when they are at the bridal party.
Lending Tree conducted a survey of 2,100 consumers and found that over half of those who had been a part of a bridal party felt pressured to spend money, although they really couldn’t afford it.
According to that same poll, bridesmaids spent an average of $825 on clothing, pre-wedding events, and the wedding itself.
That is a big cost for someone who is not the person getting married.
Let’s not forget the fallout from brides’ financial demands.
Almost 40% of those that were at the wedding regret spending the money and 1 in 10 are no longer friends because of that two years after the wedding.
Travel is the majority of expenses incurred by those who accepted the offer to be a part of a loved one’s wedding.
Another indicator that the expectation placed on potential wedding party participants is that 1 in 5 turn down the invitation for financial reasons.
Weddings are supposed to be a time of love and celebration.
With over half of the bridal party members incurring credit card debt to be there for the bride, it looks like we may have lost sight of what a wedding day is all about.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.