2 Words That Prevent Women From Attracting High-Quality Men (And What To Say Instead)

Your vocabulary might be holding you back.

Last updated on Dec 24, 2023

woman looking at camera hugging man Olena Yakobchuk / Shutterstock

For women looking to attract a man, they may do everything in their power to change who they are inside and out. It might mean changing her hair color, wearing different clothes, or finding new hobbies.

But what if I told you that it was her thinking that was holding her back?

In fact, there are two words, in particular, that prevent women from attracting good, high-quality men.

I had an interesting exchange after posting on my Facebook about how to attract men. I wrote: "I'm allergic to the words 'look' and 'keep' when it comes to men." Someone contacted me to clarify what it meant when I used the terms "look" and "keep." 


I responded, "Women are conditioned to think and say 'I'm looking for a good man' or ask, 'How do I keep a man?' Both have weak energy. A great man is attractive and he also wants to stay with you."

So, those words, "look" and "keep" are certain to hold you back from finding good men! And while many guys, in particular, think it is men who should pursue women, there are all kinds of wrong things with that thinking.



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So what’s the lesson here when attracting men? Where should you start if you want to get a great guy to like you?

Here's how to attract good men without using the words 'look' and 'keep'.

1. Understand how to speak from your feminine power.

What you say is what you get. If you’re always focusing on “looking, searching, and finding” a quality man, you’re actually repelling him.

As a woman, you naturally have the energy that a high-quality man is drawn to. You may have heard of the Chinese concept of yin and yang. They are opposite energies that balance each other.

A man who is seeking and hunting for you (in yang energy) is open to seeing and receiving yin energy. Yin is all things feminine and sensual — everything that he isn't.


While men seek out and pursue women, women are also actively attracting men to them, as well. This requires a balance, just like yin and yYang. It's important for women to speak what they truly desire to have and happen, so don't just "look" — attract!

  • Instead of “I am looking for...” use “I am attracting...”
  • Instead of asking, “Where are the quality men?” or “Are there any left?” ask yourself, “Where can I go to meet quality men?”

words that prevent women from attracting high-quality menPhoto: Katerina Holmes / Pexels

At this point, you may be thinking, “What about being a strong, decisive woman?” Each woman has several personalities or characters inside. All are needed and one isn’t less important than the other.


Men are drawn to Princess Fiona, yet they adore it when her inner Xena Warrior Princess comes out. Confused? No need to be. It’s the same way with men. They have a feminine and masculine side — some more than others, but it’s there. Whether he just embraces and lives it out is another story.

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2. Understand the meaning of 'attract.'

Many men are not alone in being confused as to what the word "attract" truly means. The word is thrown around so much, it's not surprising a lot of guys feel this way.

As a verb, attract means: to cause to approach or adhere; to pull to or draw toward oneself or itself (a magnet attracts iron); to draw by appeal to natural or excited interest, emotion, or aesthetic sense; to entice (attract attention).


That’s powerful. Do you see, feel or hear any weak energy in those definitions? Probably not. Do you feel the power stirring up in you right now? Most definitely.

The point is that what you put out into the world is what you'll bring back. Make sure you're only working on attracting people that will be good for you, rather than wanting to attract any man out there.



3. Understand everything you do attract.

Most women don’t know this, but we are natural attractors. We are all born with the ability to attract. It’s just that most of us are unaware of how to use that power.


Women can use that power to attract many things:

  • You can cause a man to approach you.
  • You can draw a man to you.
  • You can appeal to men naturally.
  • You can excite a man’s interest.
  • You can evoke strong emotion in a man.

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Not only can you attract just any man, but you can also attract the type or quality of man you want.

  • You can attract an amazing, high-quality man... or attract jerks.
  • You can attract a faithful, honest man... or attract a cheating, lying man.
  • You can attract an attentive man... or attract a man who takes you for granted.
  • You can attract a man who treats you like a queen... or a man who abuses you.

We all attract. We also attract the type of man who pursues us. This is one of the hardest things for a lot of women to accept.


words that prevent women from attracting high-quality menPhoto: cottonbro studio / Pexels

When we’re in a victim mindset, we say men do things “to” us. I say this with all respect for any pain and suffering you may have gone through, but until you stop thinking like a victim and realize you have a choice, nothing will change.

Here’s another compelling, outside-the-box thought. Sometimes, at both ends of the spectrum, we could be talking about the same man.


You see this all the time. It’s so cliché, but it’s true. How many instances have we seen of a womanizer all of a sudden, after leaving a 7-mile-long path of broken hearts, go ga-ga over a plain woman?

Everyone is so shocked, awed, and dismayed. Why? They just don’t understand the influence of a woman in her full power.

While outward beauty can attract more men, when it comes to inspiring him to stay, it’s a whole different story.

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Rhonda Cort is a relationship expert, mentor, and creator of transformational programs The Magnetic Woman Factor and UPGRADE: The High Value Mindset™. Her mission is to show women the tools to live an uncompromised life and create high-quality relationships.