Women Who Secretly Can’t Stand Their Husbands Often Use These 11 Polite Phrases
Women often hide their unhappiness with their husbands behind polite phrases.
ShotPrime Studio / Shutterstock Society has taught women that they have to be polite. Even when things are deeply impacting them and causing them distress, it’s encouraged that they remain “lady-like” to keep from being seen as angry or resentful. This idea is not only suggested for easing interactions with strangers, but it is often also applied to marriages, where women are told to stifle their emotions for the sake of their spouse. Because of this, women who secretly can't stand their husbands often use polite phrases in an attempt to placate them.
It’s not uncommon for women to grow dissatisfied with their husbands. Daily stress and complicated dynamics may leave wives feeling stuck in marriages that don't cut it for them anymore. Even when they have grown to dislike their husbands, women are known to remain polite, though the reason behind their kind words can have a deeper meaning. So when women secretly can’t stand their husbands, the subtle phrases they use have a deeper meaning.
Women who secretly can’t stand their husbands often use these 11 polite phrases
1. 'I need time to process this'
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When a woman secretly can’t stand her husband, it is often caused by a lack of trust or emotional pain. Likely, he has done something that has pushed her to a point of unhappiness.
Maybe he forgot her birthday, or cheated on her with a coworker. When a woman secretly can’t stand her husband but is remaining polite, she will say that she needs time to process the behavior that has hurt her. It’s a kind way to say that she is working on processing something that could be permanently damaging to her relationship.
2. 'Please give me some space'
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Women who secretly can’t stand their husbands will look for reasons to step away temporarily from arguments or moments of discomfort. This is the polite way to avoid a situation that is causing them distress.
When a woman says she needs space, all hope in the relationship isn’t lost. If the wife is forgiving, following her instructions to give her space may allow for future conflict resolution.
3. 'I feel hurt by your behavior'
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A wife who secretly can’t stand her husband is likely dealing with behavior that is taking a toll on her mental health. It could be his way of communicating to her, or how his actions have caused her to lose trust in him.
By saying that she feels hurt by his behavior, she is politely pointing out that he has done wrong by her. It is an easy way for someone who is unhappy with the other to kindly put their feelings into words.
4. 'I don’t want to fight'
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At this point in the relationship, she is likely sick and tired of arguing. Women who say they do not want to fight could be politely telling their husbands that she does not want to fight for the relationship any longer. By choosing to disengage with a fight, a woman who can’t stand her husband is subtly letting him know that she has lost the desire to work for the marriage.
“Women leave a relationship mentally before women leave physically,” says relationship expert Sharon Pope. Saying that she doesn’t want to fight could be a polite way of saying she no longer wants to keep the relationship going.
5. 'Nothing is wrong'
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This is a classic phrase most husbands are used to hearing. However, when it comes from a wife who secretly can’t stand her husband, it may have a deeper meaning.
When a woman is emotionally checked out of a marriage, she will look for any way to avoid having difficult conversations with her husband. She will choose to politely put her emotions aside in order to keep issues from escalating. Something could be seriously wrong, but to her, it’s not worth it to dive into.
6. 'I am busy, but thank you for the invitation'
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It’s no surprise that women who secretly can’t stand their husbands want to avoid spending time with them. They will begin to make polite excuses as to why they can’t join their husband on outings.
Lack of support or constant criticism can cause partners to become disconnected, and as a result, women will start to be unable to stand their husbands. They will politely come up with any excuse to avoid spending time with them.
7. 'It’s okay'
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Women can deal with exceptional pain and still smile and look the other way. Women who secretly can’t stand their husbands are likely used to this disappointment and will say everything is okay just to avoid further engagement.
“Shutting down emotionally is a form of dissociation, of turning off a connection with ourselves and what is going on,” finds Pivotal Counseling. “Essentially, your partner may be shutting down because their body is telling them that shutting down is the best way to stay safe.”
Leaving it at “it’s okay” is often a safer place for women who secretly can’t stand their husbands.
8. 'I’m too tired'
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Playing too tired is a polite way of shutting down intimate advances. For women who secretly can’t stand their husbands, intimacy is out of the question, but they feel they must kindly shut down the possibility.
“The primary reason women stop having [stop being intimate] with their husbands is because they don’t feel emotionally safe,” shared Dr. Sarah Hensley. “The reason that they don’t feel emotionally safe is that their attachment needs are not being met inside of their relationship,” she continued.
Women who secretly can’t stand their husbands' needs are not being met, and therefore, they have no desire for intimacy.
9. 'Maybe later'
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When a woman has reached the stage in her marriage where she secretly can’t stand her husband, putting effort into the relationship becomes impossible. When her husband tries to make plans or romantic advances, it’s easier to simply say "maybe later."
The woman likely finds the effort of telling her husband why she is rejecting him is too much, and it’s polite to give him the idea that they could possibly do that activity he’s asking for later. Life coach Corey Wayne says that when a woman says maybe, the man should interpret it as a no.
10. 'I appreciate the effort'
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A woman who secretly can’t stand her husband is likely used to being let down by him. Whether it’s a failure to follow through with her requests perfectly or no real effort exerted on his end, she might dismiss these actions by saying she appreciates the effort.
It’s a polite way of keeping her disappointment to herself. She is used to experiencing these letdowns and can’t find the energy to speak her genuine emotions, as she secretly can’t stand him.
11. 'We can work on this later'
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A husband who has hurt his wife may be looking for any chance to get back in her good graces. However, at a certain point, the wife who has grown to dislike her husband will stop his advances to make things better.
When a wife has emotionally shut down and secretly can’t stand her husband, she will say politely that they can touch on the issues later. When in reality, she is likely burnt out and not interested in discussing the issue further.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
