10 Things Men Secretly Want In A Wife

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what men secretly want in a wife

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Are you tired of how hard it is to figure out what men want? It seems as though we are communicating with each other less and less.

This means we know less and less about what each other wants, both in life and relationships.

I know it can be difficult to read men these days. They don’t just come out and tell you what they want. 

RELATED: The Secret Thing Men Want More Than Love (And How To Give It To Them)

So, let’s dive into the things men want in a wife.

1. A kind heart

A kindhearted woman is thoughtful, loving, and caring. When she smiles at him, he has no choice but to smile back.

A woman who radiates warmth from her heart does small things for her partner just because she loves him (Of course, a good man will do the same for her).

This is the type of woman a man wants to marry.

RELATED: 15 Definitive Signs You're With A Good Man (As Written By One)

2. Understanding and empathy

Being compassionate, supportive, and encouraging towards your partner is a huge part of building a successful relationship.

Nobody wants a Debbie Downer who won’t support her partner in their endeavors or in times of need.

Life is full of challenges that a couple will face together, particularly a married couple.

He wants a wife who can handle these challenges with him as a team.

RELATED: 6 Sweet Signs You're Already In The RIGHT Relationship

3. Ambition 

In addition to supporting and encouraging her partner’s own goals and dreams, she also has her own set of goals and dreams.

An ambitious woman has a vision for her future and chases after it with voracity.

An ambitious woman will be someone you can take on the world with a partner in crime and teammate in life.

4. Consistency

Think of consistency as the opposite of volatility. If she is unpredictable and volatile, it’s difficult to know how she will act on a given day.

This gets old no matter how aesthetically pleasing she is.

Another way to be consistent is to be authentic throughout the entire dating process.

Don’t send your "representative" self for the first few months of dating and drastically change once he’s committed to you.

Being consistent is a valuable virtue that every man wants in a wife.

RELATED: 11 Little Things Men Secretly Adore About The Woman They Love

5. Someone who puts in the effort

Sometimes the romance wears off in a longer term relationships, but you shouldn’t let it! It just takes a little bit of consistent effort to keep things going.

It can be something as simple as planning a surprise outing for the two of you.

Furthermore, a woman who continues to do what she knows her partner was attracted in the beginning shows she cares about keeping them around... definite wifey material.

6. Shared values

Many times our value system comes from our upbringing and includes things that are important to us, what we believe strongly in, ways we treat other, and ways we treat ourselves.

It doesn’t matter how attracted you are to someone or how well you get along — if your values don’t align you will clash in the long-term.

So, similar values equals wife potential, but don’t compromise your own values in the process.

RELATED: Couples Who Share These 8 Core Values Have The Happiest, Healthiest Relationships

7. Physical attraction

Yes, both men and women need to be physically attracted to their partner to start a relationship. However, attractiveness also plays an important role in holding the relationship together.

I am in no way suggesting a woman has to fit a certain image of beauty in order to be considered wife material.

Every man is attracted to a different type of woman and has his own personal tastes.

8. Someone who's friendly and social

I enjoy being social and love having my girlfriend by my side during those situations.

We naturally find ourselves together at events or when hanging out with friends.

No man wants to be worried about the attitude his girlfriend or wife is going to give off in a social situation or when meeting his friends or coworkers.

RELATED: 16 Things Couples That Actually Stay Together For Life Do Differently

9. A sense of humor

We know how important it is to women for the man in their life to have a good sense of humor, but it’s equally important in the other direction.

If a guy has a great sense of humor, it will be lost on a woman who is too dry or stiff. Furthermore, it could cause tension if he is often joking around and she becomes annoyed due to her seriousness.

It is important for a couple to be able to be playful and joke around with each other. It helps lighten the mood, makes extended periods of time together more fun, and never gets old.

A woman you can share your humor with is what any man wants in a wife and partner.

10. Love and affection

It may not need to be said, but being loving and affectionate symbolizes connection. It brings a warm and loving feeling.

It would be difficult to build a long-term relationship with a woman who shrugs off your arm and always feels separate.

Every man is going to want something a little different in a woman he wants to marry, but I challenge you to find a guy who disagrees with these 10 points.

RELATED: Why 'Complicated Women' Attract The Best Men

James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach. He is a go-to expert on CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.

This article was originally published at James M Sama. Reprinted with permission from the author.