5 Ways To Know For Sure You're In Love With A Heartless Person

We don't use heartless lightly, so beware.

Last updated on Apr 06, 2024

heartless man and concerned woman anouchka, RMAX | Canva 

I hear many dating stories, specifically from men, where they say they fell in love with someone, and months or even years later, they found out they were dating a completely heartless person. They got duped. Their partner pretended to be a certain way to catch them and then revealed their true self; a heartless, narcissist, and now they're stuck there asking themselves, "Who are you and what did I get myself into?" You want to be sympathetic towards these folks because love blinded them, but I don't feel bad for them. I just think they weren’t paying attention.


Whether you're together for a few months or years, things happen in people’s lives that will show you their character. They will either shine or reveal themselves to be who they really these examples/instances come up, they will show you their integrity, authenticity, and their commitment to other places in their life. You just need to pay attention, and I’m here to help you do that. Pay attention to how your partner acts in these types of situations and you’ll never get bamboozled again.

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Here are 5 ways to know for sure if you're in love with a heartless person:

1. How do they treat their family and friends? 

How do they show up for their family or friends? Are they supportive? Are they giving and helpful? Do they spend time with them? When they're ill, do they take care of them and check in to make sure they’re doing okay? Are they kind? If they treat their family and friends badly or without compassion during their time of need, they will likely do the same with you eventually.




2. How do they talk about their ex?

Are they spiteful? Are they still angry? Do they only have bad things to say? This may be the way they talk about you one day. Was the demise of their previous relationships only the other person’s fault? Pay close attention to the answers. 

RELATED: 10 Signs A Guy Is Too Good To Be True

3. What kind of parents are they? 

If you're dating someone with kids, the type of parent they are is a huge indicator of who they are as a person. Do they show up for their kids? Are they an active parent? Are their kids the most important thing in their life? Do they provide? If their kids don't come first, how will you ever come close to getting what you need?


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4. How do they argue? 

Do they freak out? Do they get overly emotional or very mean? Do they argue with you in public? That’s a huge no-no and a sign of disaster to come. 



5. How do they deal with adversity in life and work? 

Do they overreact? Are they super dramatic? Do they fall apart? Is the world ending? Do they deal with their adversity with grace, or do they get ugly? It’s okay to have a bad day, but do they get back up the next day and keep on going? This is how they’ll react to adversity in your relationship. If they like the drama, let them go!


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Ravid Yosef is a dating and relationship coach. She is an established advice column writer, Certified NLP Practitioner, and award-winning marketer.