If You’re Trying To Be More Likable To Women, Start With These 10 Habits
These habits can make a big difference in how women perceive you.
Jose Calsina | Canva Many a man has questioned what women want from men. We're not playing coy here. We know we're complex creatures. And true, we operate on a different wavelength than men, especially when it comes to relationships.
But while yes, women are different from men in some ways, we aren't exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be. So, what do women want not only in a man, but in a relationship? We polled a group of women we know and compiled their answers in the list below to help you guys come across as more likable.
If you're trying to be more likable to women, start with these ten habits:
1. Be respectful
Show us you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies, and minds through your actions. You don't have to agree with everything we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions.
Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated. Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate. Or, you can level up and show you value us by treating us how we want to be treated and not treating us as a reflection of yourself. Either way, being intentional is the key.
2. Read the vibe before getting touchy
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Yes, we love physical intimacy. But remember, there are four bases to cover, not just one. Try stopping at each base instead of being so focused on the home run — believe us, we'll thank you for it.
Likewise, remember small physical touches like massages. One can never, ever have too many shoulder rubs. And scratching our heads is pretty great, too.
3. Make her feel special
Is it another night on the couch with take-out and TiVo? Just because we're staying in doesn't mean the evening can't be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads.
Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. It's one of the many simple things women want in a relationship.
Date nights, making out in the car, kissing like when we first started dating — all of the things that made us fall in love with you don't have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids that need to get bathed.
Bring home flowers for no reason. We're not talking $100 bouquets of roses here; even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile. While many women would love to receive gifts of luxury goods from men, when you break it down, those things are just physical representations of some of the points on this list — we promise.
4. Pull your weight
We understand relationships can't be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says "love" more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could.
This includes helping around the house. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry? If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you'll get a big ol' smooch when you return.
5. Offer to make dinner
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Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking or know how to boil water. But greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can pull together) makes us swoon because it shows you've been thinking about us and our hectic day.
"When it comes to any relationship, you can never go wrong when you choose love and kindness," reminds life coach Debra Smouse. Choosing to care for your partner will help your relationship thrive. Because nurturing your relationships will always assist you in creating a daily life that feels loving and nourished."
6. Have grown-up conversations
Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it's nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren't, but the reality is we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeous eyes.
So let us know when you think we're attractive. Tell us we're beautiful. It helps us feel good. Plus, when we feel attractive, we're more likely to get physical.
Words of appreciation aren't half-bad, either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Thank us for driving the kids to school. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn't have to be over the top; just let us know you see the effort we put in and are grateful.
7. Be consistent
This doesn't mean being boring and predictable. It means we know you will (usually, no one is perfect) give us the love and support we need. Knowing you're coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making us feel secure.
Therapist Lyssa deHart explained how consistency helps build security, "Trust, at its core, is psychological safety and confidence in those around you. Trust is a fragile thing, but how we create psychological safety and develop deep, trusting relationships is within our control. Pay attention to the small building blocks of integrity and build or rebuild your circle of trust. With this level of honesty, you can create a space that few interpersonal storms can harm."
8. Ask about things that she's into
Of the banking kind, not the "I'm getting more money in my account" kind. You don't have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in your passions, whether career-related, a sport, or a hobby, goes a long way.
Listen when we talk to you. We're not speaking just so we can hear our voice; we want to connect with you, which is one valuable way we do this.
This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it's the name of our best friend's husband or the fact that we hate Nicolas Cage movies, the little things you remember about us are so endearing.
9. Have a sense of humor
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These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn't mean you have to crack jokes or entertain us, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down.
Life coach Lisa Petsinis stated bluntly, "Laugh more. Better yet, laugh at yourself. Being perfect is overrated. Goof off. Sing, dance, and don't care who's watching. Feel the exhilaration of being yourself and loving it."
10. Step up
Not the kind of challenge that makes a relationship feel draining, but the good kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be, or achieve what we desire. A 2017 Study showed how partners who prod each other to meet goals — in other words, don't support lazy or bad habits — are ultimately happier than those who don't hold each other accountable.
YourTango is a purpose-driven publisher focused on love, relationships, emotional wellness, and self-empowerment.
