These 7 Traits Create Serious Chemistry With Almost Anyone, According To Psychology
Confidence is everything.
Mariia Ioffe | Unsplash We may call it a case of Mondays, seasonal sadness, or just being in a slump, but sometimes, we don’t feel very attractive. And if we don’t feel it, chances are we aren’t being very alluring, and our partners (potential or otherwise) are realizing it. To understand how to be hotter, you want to feel turned on and behave in ways that can turn on your partner, says Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist.
“A simple way to feel attractive is to add an extra coat of mascara, put on a pair of heels, or spray some perfume. Other ways are complimenting your partner, flirting with your eyes or winking, and/or using pet names like 'Hey, handsome' or 'How's it going, good looking?'” says Greer. You aren't feeling so hot in your own skin and want to learn how to be more attractive?
These 6 traits create serious chemistry with almost anyone, according to psychology:
1. They exude confidence
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Research shows that confidence is among the most powerful of all attractants. If you don't have confidence, then you can't really move forward with feeling attractive because you'll always doubt yourself and not feel good enough, according to dating coach Sienna Sinclaire.
2. They genuinely love themselves
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“The most important person in your life should always be yourself. Yes, you can love your family and kids, but you should love yourself first. If you can't love yourself, then how can you expect to love others?” says Sinclaire.
Loving yourself has a lot to do with confidence. Learn to fall in love with yourself, and you'll feel much better about yourself. And science backs it up — studies have shown self-acceptance is one of the biggest keys to happiness and fulfillment
3. They stay physically active
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Sinclaire advises that working out will definitely make you feel more attractive because it will give your body confidence and make you feel better about yourself. Tired of the gym or want to feel really attractive?
Then try workout classes such as pole dancing, striptease, belly dancing, salsa, tango, or any other activity that will make you feel better about yourself.
Plus, working out releases tons of endorphins, which can put you in the mood afterward. Science shows that working out often leads to exercise-induced climaxes, and they are pretty darn powerful.
4. They feel good in their own skin
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If confidence is the new trend, feeling great in your own skin is that to a whole other level. Research shows that if you want to feel better, then you must come to terms with the body you have at the moment.
“Yes, you may want a better body, but be realistic. Love what you have now and better it down the road. Hating it until you lose 50 pounds is the worst thing you can do. Don't buy that red dress until you lose 50 pounds; buy it now and look your best and love what you have,” says Sinclaire. Then, when you lose 50 pounds, buy that red dress in a smaller size.
While you work on those things, focus on other things that you love about yourself. We tend to focus so much on the negative rather than the positive. Love your eyes? Then go out and buy some new eye colors and wear them out; it will make you feel more daring.
5. They enjoy their independence
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Eighty-six percent of us want a partner who "complements us" — why, then, don't we try dating the one person who totally likes us? You, the person in the mirror. When a guy takes you out and you get all dressed up, don't you feel hot?
“Maybe you don't have a man in your life, but even if you do, don't depend on a man to make you feel attractive. Make yourself feel that and do things alone,” says Sinclaire. Buy yourself your own flowers or take yourself out for lunch.
6. They prioritize themselves
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Another way to start feeling better about yourself is to treat yourself. It may not be a big thing — it could be as simple as buying new clothes, a new hairstyle, working out, or eating healthier.
“I believe if there's something you're not happy about with yourself, then fix it, don't complain. Do something about it. If there are big changes, I believe in starting small so as not to overwhelm yourself!” Sinclaire says. Studies have shown that a bad hair day can ruin our day, so if feeling hot is as simple as getting a blowout, go for it!
"I always feel better after I get a mani-pedi with daring colors for my toes and some long French tips for my fingers. I feel like a man-eater when my hands and feet are looking fine; I feel confident, and men definitely appreciate it too. Confidence makes me feel very attractive, but it has to come from within," says adult performer Layton Benton.
Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyle writer who focuses on health, wellness, and relationships. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly.
