11 Things You'll Only Notice About Yourself When You're With The Right Person
It's like your whole world changes when you've found the perfect person for you.
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock Being with the right person for you doesn't happen easily like rom-coms and Disney movies would have you believe. You don't simply make eye contact with someone and instantly fall in love; rather, it's lots of hard work and commitment that creates something magical. And when you finally do find "the one," you find clarity where there are certain things you'll only notice about yourself when you're with the right person.
When you're with this person, everything feels complete and you connect on a level you've never experienced before. You learn how to exist not only alongside this person, but with yourself as well. And the things you may not have realized before become crystal clear.
Here are 11 things you'll only notice about yourself when you're with the right person
1. You feel bored by the calm
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If you're with the right person, it's likely going well. From date nights to beautiful surprises, the relationship is healthy and thriving. But healthy relationships don't always make for the most exciting situations.
When someone is in a good relationship, it can be a bit boring. But boredom isn't an abnormal thing. As psychology professor Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. explained, "The excitement we feel early on in any experience dissipates over time. We habituate. As we learn more about our relationship partner, there are fewer opportunities to learn new things. As we fall into routines, there's less excitement."
2. You don't overthink
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When you stop overthinking, this is one of the more obvious things you'll only notice about yourself when you're with the right person. In your previous relationships, you probably felt a bucketload of anxiety as you tried to decipher how your partner felt. And while insecurity is something we all deal with, you don't find yourself feeling insecure when it comes to your relationship anymore.
Without them realizing it, they're self-assuring and know exactly what to say to put your mind at ease. From complimenting you daily to letting you know how much they care, their constant praises ease your anxious mind, causing you to not overthink as much.
3. You don't feel the need to over-explain yourself
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If there's one thing people have a habit of doing, it's overexplaining themselves. They may not notice it, but things that should have been a simple sentence turn into a long-winded explanation, justifying their thoughts and opinions. It's normal to feel this way in a toxic relationship, but because you're with the right person, you don't feel the need to overexplain yourself anymore.
Your partner makes you feel safe and comfortable. No matter how different your opinion is, you don't feel the need to freeze or stutter out apologies. Instead, your partner reassures you and probably says something along the lines of, "Don't worry about me." While it may sound insignificant, reassurance matters a lot.
According to psychologist Mark Travers, "For both long-term and short-term relationships, reassurance-seeking behaviors were linked to increased relationship satisfaction and maintenance behaviors." This means that couples who express their need for reassurance and partners who meet them tend to have better relationships than the average couple.
4. You don't want to fix them
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It isn't always easy to navigate the beginning of a new relationship. With different personalities and habits, couples may take some time getting into the swing of things. But with the right person, you don't feel the need to fix these behaviors or quirks.
With both parties emotionally evolving, each party is able to listen to one another and meet each other's needs. Whether it's cleaning the house once a week or spending a few hours together at a time, each couple adjusts themselves without ever needing to change the core of who they are.
5. You stop comparing yourself to others
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As much as some people like to pretend they aren't bothered by others' opinions, the truth of the matter is that each of us has something we're insecure about. Whether it's our looks or where our career is, comparison is something that's a big part of the human experience.
When your partner can reassure you, there's no doubt in your mind that you're good enough as you are. As therapist Hannah Rose explained, "Comparing ourselves, belittling our worth, or minimizing our strengths can validate our core irrational beliefs that ultimately we are not good enough."
6. You stop checking your phone every second
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When you're with the wrong person, it's easy to grow anxious. Whether it's their mood swings or their bad attitude, you tend to check your phone a lot around someone when you're uncomfortable. But when you don't check your phone every second, it's one of the things you'll only notice about yourself when you're with the right person.
You're completely content with sitting there and doing nothing with them. Even if it's watching a boring movie, so long as you're spending quality time together, the hours pass by quickly. And while you may look at your phone periodically, a good way to tell if you're with "the one" is if you suddenly find that your phone has become the least interesting thing in the room.
7. You ask for what you need without feeling guilty
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It isn't always easy to open up and express yourself with a partner. As much as they may say you can be honest with them, those people-pleasing tendencies can get in the way, causing you to stay silent. However, if you're dealing with this, know that you aren't alone, as according to a YouGov survey, 48% of people identify as people-pleasers.
Because you're with the right person, you can let your guard down. With zero hesitation, you're able to be vulnerable without feeling guilty about it. Whether it's something small like deciding on dinner or something big like moving in together, you know you won't be belittled or ignored.
8. You feel supported
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In the past, you might not have felt supported by your partner. Sure, they might have claimed to have your back, but you slowly began to realize that you can't truly depend on anyone but yourself. Luckily, all of this has changed and you feel supported fully. It took a lot of time and effort, but you fully trust this person.
In this relationship, you know that regardless of whatever time you call them, you'll always have the support you need. And while this should be the case for all relationships, it takes a special person and connection to make both parties feel this way.
9. You handle conflict calmly
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Whether it's a random stranger cutting in line or your parents interfering with your life decisions, it's hard to keep your cool when it feels like everyone is against you. But now, things are different. Instead of reacting in anger, you handle conflict calmly, and it's one of the things you'll only notice about yourself when you're with the right person.
You feel safe and heard within your relationship. Because of this, there's no lingering tension or resentment when you do get into conflict. You completely respect one another and are able to resolve conflicts with a clear head. Because, according to psychology expert Ellie Lisitsa, things like contempt are one of the number one indicators of divorce.
10. You're not afraid
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When you're in the wrong relationship, fear is ever-present. Feeling as if you're walking on eggshells, you feel insecure and wonder if you're acting the right way around that person. But in this relationship, you aren't afraid to be yourself. Whether it's your humor or even making mistakes, this person accepts you for who you are.
Of course, it won't be easy in the beginning. For those who have been hurt in the past, it takes a lot of time to build up intimacy and vulnerability. But the more your relationship develops, the more you feel safe and unafraid.
11. You laugh way more
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The quickest way to someone's heart is by making them laugh. It's an unspoken code of life, but those who know how to use humor tend to have the best relationships out there. Prioritizing their partner's happiness, they'll do everything in their power to put a smile on their face.
While laughter might seem insignificant, according to a study published in Personal Relationships, couples who share laughter together end up feeling closer. So, if your partner makes you laugh like no other, chances are you're with the right person.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
